My husband's boss lives down the road from us. He has a son the same age as one of my sons. They go to school together and they are friends. My husband's boss is new to the area and had moved from Alabama. Just for additional information that will be needed later in the story, they are a black family and we are white.

Anyway, their little boy wanted to know if two of my boys could go to Bible study with him on Wednesday night. Our kids told us this and my husband wanted to confirm this. So, while at work, he asked his boss about it so that he could get the details. Our children had in fact been invited.

We were curious as to which church they intended because our town has a bajillion churches of varying denominations. So, he asked his boss what kind of church they attended? Then he said what I find to be the most offensive thing. His response was, "Don't worry, it's an all white church."

Is it just me, or was this totally uncalled for? I feel like he was implying that we were racists. We are far from it. I grew up in a majority black town. I have biracial nephews. I have never thought anything about color as being a factor with the places my children go or who they hang out with.

I am thinking of confronting him to make it clear that when we wanted to know about the church it had nothing to do with race. But, it is my husband's boss and I don't want to create any ill feelings. Any advice?

Ok, here is my two sense, and the future therapist in me!

I understand why you and your husband were upset by his comment. I think that if you feel the need to confront him, there are ways that you can do it without being rude or cruel. You said he was new, so he would not know the history of the other churches. Explain to him that was the intent of the question with open, honest communication. There is no need to defend the fact you are not a racist, it is not the issue.

Actually, if you would have read my posts more thoroughly you would see that I am not from the south. I am from Kansas. I stated that his familyhad just moved here from Alabama.

Oops...my mistake. Sorry about that.

Right after my original post, I thought I had posted an update. I just realized that it isn't there. I was getting upset because people kept saying "let it go". My update post basically said that his comment was probably based off past experience and I was going to leave it at that.

I realize that I do not know his past experiences and he does not know mine. He doesn't know that I attended an AME (all black church) growing up and would be ecstatic if someone invited my child to attend a church that was anything like the one I did when I was a kid.

After awhile, I realized that I really wasn't mad, but mostly hurt by the comment. I just don't want anyone thinking that way about my family because I have done everything to make sure my kids are the opposite of that.

Luckily we live in an extremely diverse town that also has a University. My children are used to seeing people of all kinds. The town sees so many different types of people, it would be hard for me to believe that color would cause people to give a second look. Now, the guy in town that is 6'5" and walks aroud downtown with a bikini and high heels on, holding a steering wheel pretending he is driving down the sidewalk. He gets stared at quite a bit.

Hopefully, my husband's boss will get an experience of acceptance here.