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What Was Your Ah-Ha (Or Oh Crap) Moment?



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For me it was the birth of my son and realizing I needed to do something for my health if I was already 36 when having him and want to be around long enough to see him grow up and have a family of his own. It took me a year to finally go ahead with surgery, but not long after I made the decision, my father had a stroke, which helped reinforce my decision, as my father is not obese, but there are other health issues in our family as well. Might as well address the ones I can in hopes that it helps avoid the others.

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After so many failed diets and wasting money on diet pills I looked into wls several years ago but my insurance didn't cover it. Fast forward to three yrs ago and I was diagnosed with a hiatial hernia. That is how I was able to have my lapband placed so that insurance would cover the bulk of the cost.

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I have been thinking about it for years, my mom was way over weight until she was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, when she literally couldn't eat much and lost 50 pounds and more but still could stand to lose another 50 but was stuck I her wheelchair, unable to stand or do anything at all for herself and as I transfered her to her bed at night or got her up in the morning and destroyed my back, shoulder and neck I vowed that I would never be in her position I would be able to care for myself, that if I do end up with Parkinson's or some other horrible disease that I wasn't going to weigh 120 lbs more than I should, I just didn't know how to do it. I was also having serious issues controlling my diabetes. Then one day when I decided to work from home I happened to catch a program I had never seen "The Doctors" and they had a story about a couple that had wls and completely got rid of their diabetes. I made my call to the mayo the next day. I am one week away from scheduling my surgery. Hoping for it to be either February 27th or March 6th.

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I have been thinking about it for years, my mom was way over weight until she was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, when she literally couldn't eat much and lost 50 pounds and more but still could stand to lose another 50 but was stuck I her wheelchair, unable to stand or do anything at all for herself and as I transfered her to her bed at night or got her up in the morning and destroyed my back, shoulder and neck I vowed that I would never be in her position I would be able to care for myself, that if I do end up with Parkinson's or some other horrible disease that I wasn't going to weigh 120 lbs more than I should, I just didn't know how to do it. I was also having serious issues controlling my diabetes. Then one day when I decided to work from home I happened to catch a program I had never seen "The Doctors" and they had a story about a couple that had wls and completely got rid of their diabetes. I made my call to the mayo the next day. I am one week away from scheduling my surgery. Hoping for it to be either February 27th or March 6th.

I had my RNY at Mayo too! Best of the best and phenomenal care!!

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My seatbelt kept locking in the car and it would literally piss me off, I'd rage all over it. Lol

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For me it came after loosing weight using phentramine. I spent nearly a year on that horrible drug and saw the toll it was taking on my body, mind, and personal relationships. I went off it....and quickly gained all of the weight back. I was so disgusted with myself. Disgusted for STILL being fat, for another diet failure, for another Summer spent not swimming or wearing shorts.

I just can't keep doing this. I hate being naked. I hate the guilt/shame cycle I get stuck in. I hate the feeling of being out of control. I hate the way I "need" to feel stuffed to the gills and I really hate how much food it takes to get that feeling.

I want to do this one more time...get control over myself...reset my relationship with food...get on with living...

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I think for me it was also a combination of things, but the most prevalent was a daily feeling of wondering if "today" was my last day. It was not a healthy mental place to be. I had the usual sleep apnea, high blood pressure and pre-diabetes that come along with a person of my size @ 360. I was having chest pains. On top of that I was depressed all the time.

Secondarily, I hated the way people treated me as a second class person (no eye contact, blatant discrimination etc), the way I made people uncomfortable in the air plane )hated asking for the extension belt) and how difficult some basic activities were (tying shoes, wiping a** and washing places that were hard to reach).

And finally, I had given up on doing the latest diet as had done so many. Some were quite successful like Atkins (dropped 100 #), moderately successful like WW (Dropped 60#) and not successful at all (hypnosis, hoodia, diet pills). I knew another diet scheme (green coffee bean diet was all the rage at the time, I think) was not going to help me even if I could lose weight with it. I still had some fundamental food issues that needed to be resolved before a "diet" was going to help me long term.

Yes, it was definitely a combination of things.

Taking control of my health, my relationship with food and my fitness was one of the better decisions in my life and I will be around to share many years with my family. I am a much happier person and have energy to do so much more. I have maintained a healthy and fit BMI for about 1 year now. I am looking forward to the rest of my life at this weight due to a toolbox OD good habits thanks to the help of VSG during the first 6 months.

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Three things.

1. Broke a lawn chair at a work event in front of colleagues and staff. Absolutely mortifying moment.

2. Went to Bali for a holiday with my very good friend from the US, we only see each other about once a year, and while there she beautifully, tactfully, and lovingly, asks me what has been going on and why was I gaining weight. She admitted to having been shocked when she had seen me when we visited the US the previous year, and even more shocked when we met up in Bali. Sounds harsh, but it led to the most honest conversation I had ever had about my weight. I love her all the more for having the balls (and the love) to raise it with me.

3. Seeing photos on my return from Bali. The above conversation snapped me out of my denial. From that point on I saw photos of myself and actually saw how big I was. It blew me away. I really had been in denial. Those Bali photos were the final straw. This one, in particular:

post-132891-0-28855400-1390765240_thumb.jpg

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Oh and I moved super quick too! I returned from Bali on the 26th March 2012. I started researching surgery online soon after. I spoke with my husband and he was supportive. I contacted a surgeon late in April and had my first consultation on the 7th May. I booked immediately for surgery on the 30th May! Haven't looked back at all.

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It was comments on my "pregnancy" and "when my baby was due" from 2 different well intentioned people. Of course I hadn't been pregnant in more than 10 years! So sad and lowering.

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Three things.

1. Broke a lawn chair at a work event in front of colleagues and staff. Absolutely mortifying moment.

2. Went to Bali for a holiday with my very good friend from the US, we only see each other about once a year, and while there she beautifully, tactfully, and lovingly, asks me what has been going on and why was I gaining weight. She admitted to having been shocked when she had seen me when we visited the US the previous year, and even more shocked when we met up in Bali. Sounds harsh, but it led to the most honest conversation I had ever had about my weight. I love her all the more for having the balls (and the love) to raise it with me.

3. Seeing photos on my return from Bali. The above conversation snapped me out of my denial. From that point on I saw photos of myself and actually saw how big I was. It blew me away. I really had been in denial. Those Bali photos were the final straw. This one, in particular:

That is a really good friend. I find it interesting how many lpeople comment while we are losing but don't say a peep while on the way up. I know no one wants to be hurtful but I have sworn my closest friends and famiky to pull a "Cher' on me and slap me and yell "snap out of it" if I ever start to gain again. I want open honest relationships and think your friend gave you a gift for sure. :)

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That is a really good friend. I find it interesting how many lpeople comment while we are losing but don't say a peep while on the way up. I know no one wants to be hurtful but I have sworn my closest friends and famiky to pull a "Cher' on me and slap me and yell "snap out of it" if I ever start to gain again. I want open honest relationships and think your friend gave you a gift for sure. :)

Agreed. Though it is a tightrope to walk for sure. I recently tried to have a conversation with my sister who has been gaining weight. Let's just say it did not go well. I was absolutely coming from a place of love and concern but she just wasn't ready to hear it. Or at least, she wasn't ready to hear it from me. I kicked myself afterwards.

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One of my best friends tried addressing my rising weight in my early 20's and was the only friend who did. I appreciate his honesty, and he is still my best friend to this day, but I wasn't ready to deal with it back then unfortunately.

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Seeing my mom after several months, she has been diabetic for 24+ years, is in stage 4 kidney failure, on dialysis 4 times a week, and has a pacemaker. Her doctor told her even if a kidney was available her heart couldn't take the surgery. Her liver is also failing as she has a yellow/orange color to her skin. There are other medical problems but the kicker is she is only 67 years old! I did not want to be like that something had to change. It scared the crap out of me and made me sad at the same time.

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My daughter was my main moving factor. I didn't get in any of her pictures I always took the pictures. I wanted to be able to go down a slide with her ride rides with her. Most of all I wanted to be healthy to be around for her myself and my partner. I got the band 2/10 I thought that would help me fix it all. Just a little over two years of pain I had RNY that was the best thing I could have done for myself and my family.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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