Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
$99 Yearly Supply Alert! 🎉 "1 per Day!" Bariatric Multivitamins

Please Help Me Wrap My Head Around This...

LipstickLady

By LipstickLady, in WLS Veteran's Forum

Recommended Posts

feedyoureye    3,087

feedyoureye
Posted

When I had lost quite a bit of weight, my husband would point at someone and say "She looks like you" "She is your size (but she has bigger boobs)" I never asked him to do it, but it was really good for me, Lots of times I would not believe him... but then, I would accept it, because I was in no shape to know what size I was! I also see pics of myself when I was fat,and I can't believe that girl was me. I feel sorry for her.... I definitely have a disconnect. I like to see myself in pics next to someone I know for comparison.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Madam Reverie    2,958

Madam Reverie
Posted

I went to a ceremony in a new dress two days ago. I had my hair done (badly, which wasn't helped by the rain) and despite feeling awful inside, everyone said I looked 'beautiful'.

I was told by my much younger peers 'You win best dress and best cleavage of the day'

I saw the photos today. I was in tears. I looked bloody awful and couldn't reconcile the changes in my body weight, with the look of my body and the look of my face. I looked awful and I knew it.

Should have been elated I'm now in a size 16 (US 12/14). What I saw looking back at me in the photos was a worn, puffy-eyed and bloated-stomached mess.

I spent the youth of my life being grossly overweight and I feel like I've missed my 'best' days.

How's that for some serious dysmorphia? I share your pain, Lady x

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

sanks51    214

sanks51
Posted

I went to a ceremony in a new dress two days ago. I had my hair done (badly, which wasn't helped by the rain) and despite feeling awful inside, everyone said I looked 'beautiful'.

I was told by my much younger peers 'You win best dress and best cleavage of the day'

I saw the photos today. I was in tears. I looked bloody awful and couldn't reconcile the changes in my body weight, with the look of my body and the look of my face. I looked awful and I knew it.

Should have been elated I'm now in a size 16 (US 12/14). What I saw looking back at me in the photos was a worn, puffy-eyed and bloated-stomached mess.

I spent the youth of my life being grossly overweight and I feel like I've missed my 'best' days.

How's that for some serious dysmorphia? I share your pain, Lady x

Not cool ;(

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

caroline2    89

caroline2
Posted

I'm just a week post-op. I was always small (4,6,8). It's been in the last 15 years that I have gained weight. I'm 5'3". Highest weight 263, I think. I never really think of myself as being fat until I'm hit in the face with it. Huffing and puffing, tying shoes, people looking at me and most of all when I see a photo of myself. I literally have a hard time believing that photo is of me. Very strange and sad. Congrats on your weight loss.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Molly3    495

Molly3
Posted

WOW & thank you LL for posting this! This has truly been a trippy experience for me, my brain has yet to catch up with my body. I have lost 67lbs & can't really see it even when I put on smaller clothes!? It's like I'm looking in a Funhouse mirror & all I see is my big self!

Thank you everyone for sharing, this has been an eye opener for me!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Arts137    1,811

Arts137
Posted

I went to a ceremony in a new dress two days ago. I had my hair done (badly, which wasn't helped by the rain) and despite feeling awful inside, everyone said I looked 'beautiful'.

I was told by my much younger peers 'You win best dress and best cleavage of the day'

I saw the photos today. I was in tears. I looked bloody awful and couldn't reconcile the changes in my body weight, with the look of my body and the look of my face. I looked awful and I knew it.

Should have been elated I'm now in a size 16 (US 12/14). What I saw looking back at me in the photos was a worn, puffy-eyed and bloated-stomached mess.

I spent the youth of my life being grossly overweight and I feel like I've missed my 'best' days.

How's that for some serious dysmorphia? I share your pain, Lady x

Darling dear, our lives and weight loss may be complicated by (in my case at least) ages,

I I still have a lotta life in me.

So do you.

And thinner will help.

What do do with our freakin fat brains is another freakin matter. Pleople say "man you look good", rather than say thanks, I often say, well, I see myself naked...

Georgia, Madam Reverie, gamergirl and 1 other reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

aliekat55    157

aliekat55
Posted

I am in the same boat with you. I am smaller than i was in 7th grade! and only now am I beginning to see myself as small. I find it easier to see it in a picture of myself dressed in clothes that i would not have normally worn ( case in point- halloween costume) So there was no old 'tape' for the brain to put in the place of reality. this is now the fight of our lives.

I have on advantage in that i see patients all day long and when i get a man about my height I look at his weight and then reset my brain by noting that i am either bigger or smaller than the person in front of me. almost always smaller these days. my brain responds by "no f--- way!" but i keep trying.

gamergirl reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

MichiganChic    3,262

MichiganChic
Posted

Lipstick, I could have written that. At my heaviest, there were days I saw myself as looking pretty good, and deluded myself into thinking others would see that I looked good with makeup/hair/clothes rather than my huge obese body. When I looked in the mirror, I saw myself 20 years younger and about 80 pounds lighter. I wore a 26 pants and 2X top. Now, I'm in a size 12 pants and M top, and while I don't see myself as big as I was before, I do see myself as fat.I think I still see myself as about 50 pounds heavier than I am....but not 20 years younger anymore, lol. I guess the truth is, I am still fat! My BMI puts me just barely in the overweight category. Others tell me I look like a "normal mom" and logically I know that's true, but I still don't have a good sense of my size. My clothes all look too small on the hanger, yet they fit. Sometimes when I put on those small clothes, I feel thin. Strange phenomenon, like I'm talking out both sides of my mouth! :)

gamergirl and Butterthebean reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

MichiganChic    3,262

MichiganChic
Posted

Yeah, some days I look in the mirror and see a fattie. And that's after over a year and a half at my goal weight, which puts me at a 21.8 BMI.

I found it helpful to look at myself in a three way mirror, or in multiple reflections so I'm not staring at myself head on. I had to learn to walk more erect, (my weight had kinda hunched me), walk and sit with my thighs closer together and my arms closer to my side. Also, to realize I could fit down an aisle even if someone ekes was in it. I'm in a small top and size 6 pants. They still look too small to me.

Lynda

Linda, I noticed the same thing. I am having to consciously walk differently. I find myself hunched over, and also walking like a man with my legs apart! The building I work in has floor to ceiling windows, and I can always see my reflection, so I get lots of practice walking more ladylike. It's shocking the way obesity alters our brains and bodies. I'm also surprised at the small places I can fit in, like behind chairs, in occupied aisles, small spaces in restaurants, in the chair with dog sitting NEXT to me instead of ON me. I recognize it and enjoy every time it happens, but it just seems like a dream :)

gamergirl reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

LipstickLady    25,682

LipstickLady
Posted

Lipstick, I could have written that. At my heaviest, there were days I saw myself as looking pretty good, and deluded myself into thinking others would see that I looked good with makeup/hair/clothes rather than my huge obese body. When I looked in the mirror, I saw myself 20 years younger and about 80 pounds lighter. I wore a 26 pants and 2X top. Now, I'm in a size 12 pants and M top, and while I don't see myself as big as I was before, I do see myself as fat.I think I still see myself as about 50 pounds heavier than I am....but not 20 years younger anymore, lol. I guess the truth is, I am still fat! My BMI puts me just barely in the overweight category. Others tell me I look like a "normal mom" and logically I know that's true, but I still don't have a good sense of my size. My clothes all look too small on the hanger, yet they fit. Sometimes when I put on those small clothes, I feel thin. Strange phenomenon, like I'm talking out both sides of my mouth! :)

YES. YEYESYES.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

moonlitestarbrite    902

moonlitestarbrite
Posted

this is called body dysmorphic disorder. if you find a therapist who specializes in treating eating disorders, you can get some help for it. losing weight isnt going to make it go away. you need professional help. ***hugs***

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Fluffnomore    1,235

Fluffnomore
Posted

I went to a ceremony in a new dress two days ago. I had my hair done (badly, which wasn't helped by the rain) and despite feeling awful inside, everyone said I looked 'beautiful'.

I was told by my much younger peers 'You win best dress and best cleavage of the day'

I saw the photos today. I was in tears. I looked bloody awful and couldn't reconcile the changes in my body weight, with the look of my body and the look of my face. I looked awful and I knew it.

Should have been elated I'm now in a size 16 (US 12/14). What I saw looking back at me in the photos was a worn, puffy-eyed and bloated-stomached mess.

I spent the youth of my life being grossly overweight and I feel like I've missed my 'best' days.

How's that for some serious dysmorphia? I share your pain, Lady x

Darling dear, our lives and weight loss may be complicated by (in my case at least) ages,

I I still have a lotta life in me.

So do you.

And thinner will help.

What do do with our freakin fat brains is another freakin matter. Pleople say "man you look good", rather than say thanks, I often say, well, I see myself naked...

Okay, sounds like we all need to learn a very important lesson here. When someone says something nice to us, we need to learn what to say in response. It takes almost no preparation, no explanation…and it works better than any half-assed thing we can pull out of our fat brains.

It is...

Wait for it…..

"Thank you."

And then you stop talking. No excuses, no "Oh no I don't," no "But I'm not where I should be."

Just "Thank you."

(I've had to learn this from being a singer. Something almost always goes just a little bit wrong, in my opinion anyway. People don't notice and generally don't care. The best defense is NO defense and no defensiveness.)

ReDbEaN, mistysj, JeanZ_RN and 3 others reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Chimera    644

Chimera
Posted

Figured out what my url pasting problem is - browser issue ;)

I love this site - helps to see the variety of shapes and sizes.

http://www.mybodygallery.com/

And I enjoy some of these types of threads from MFP - I too am 5'3" and have about 25 lbs to goal - some good stuff here - and realistically how long it takes folks who have 30 to lose - to lose it - most seem to be in the range of 5-7 months or so.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/725214-5-4-ladies-out-there-share-you-pics-please

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/803155-5-3-5-5-females-can-you-show-me-your-transformation

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Chimera    644

Chimera
Posted

wow - that is nuts... lol

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Go To Topic Listing WLS Veteran's Forum

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    Bariatric Forums

    For Patients

    Health Professionals

    Search Surgeons

    Bariatric Surgeons: Want to research a weight loss surgery surgeon? Enter their last name below to start!

    ×