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Love Hate Relationship With My Dr.



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Today I had my second fill. As usual I filled out the questionnaire of what I can and cannot eat well. I stated that flaky fish and pizza give me problems. (Which they both do, I have had the worst stuck episode with both!)

My Dr., upon review of my stats (he complimented me on a job well done!) stated that if I am having trouble with these things, then he wants me to eat them more often? HUH ? What? Does he want me to suffer?

He then explained that he doesn't want me to see any food as a no-no of what I can and cant eat. He wants me to re-learn how to eat all foods. If I start putting foods on the "no-no list", then my relationship with food will not change, Food is just Food. And I should look at it that way. He then told me to stop obsessing about food. To stop counting every single calorie, step taken etc, and just enjoy life and the journey I am on. WHAT? Isn't that what got me here?

I do use my-fitness-pal to log all meals, and am enamored with my new fit bit and do admit that I may spend way too much time ensuring I meet my goals, but isn't that part of this? I explained to him that I have always been good at losing weight-heck most overweight folks are and can write a book on how to do so. The problem I have is maintaining and that is how I see my lap band. As a tool to keep me from sliding and to guide me to better choices.

I welcome any feedback here..Am I obsessing? Or am I just living by a different set of rules and finding my way?

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Spoken like someone who is clueless about food addiction. I'm not telling you to ignore what he's saying but keep in mind that this is your journey and you should do what feels right to you. If tracking calories works for you, there's no harm in that. You're not hurting yourself or the band.

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Thanks for the encouragement! I just think its odd that I am being called obsessive -

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Thanks for the encouragement! I just think its odd that I am being called obsessive -

Just a few words about the food you can't eat he maybe saying fix it differently until you find a way it works. And keeping track is good if that keeps yourself in line physically and mentally but don't overdo if keeping track keeps you from enjoying impromptu get togethers. Enjoy your new life and remember it is a journey. My opinion only. Good luck

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I think he might be saying he wants you to manage the quality and he will get the band to manage the quantity. That may be good, but til you get to green you will have to manage both.

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My doctor and the nutritionist have both referred to me as a "restrictor." Guess that's a label for those of us who have dieted like crazy and find it difficult to let go of those restrictions. Pre-band I have been no dairy, no wheat, no sugar, no caffeine, no alcohol -- a lot of no-nos. So I'm trying to embrace all of it and just have those very small amounts of what it is my body is asking for. It wants dairy so I'm having some. Have not tried wheat yet and think I may not. My husband is celiac so we already have a wheat-free house. That is restrition of another kind, however, not that mental "can't have" game I have played so well the last two decades. Even though I'm so incredibly good at it, I was still unable to lose weight with that approach.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

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