Gotta Get This Off My Chest

[SandyM 1,956]

Totally agree, btw. I am a born again newbie and just eat this information up, as well as love the support and feeling that people exist that have similar problems as me. That being said, I can almost visualize the contempt and stink eye facial expressions that some of the "uppitys" have when they talk about newbies, like newbies are freshman in Highschool and they are seniors. Good job not being fat anymore.....can't wait to get there myself.....which I will.

You got this Christina. You'll do great. My motto is "Everyday I begin my journey again" because there are stumbling blocks along the way and I keep having to jump swerve and dive. But, I'll get there and you will to.

[ChicagoRose 650]

I hope I'm not one of those annoying people you speak of, in fact my site given title is now "Bariatric Master" which is a FAR CRY from where I am.....I am 8 months out, I'm still in the newly wed phase as I call it, I'm still getting fills, and learning the ropes, and one of the "newbies" I guess. At the same time, I come to this site almost every day, to listen, to advise, to learn. It keeps me motivated to talk to others like me. Yes, I am one of the lucky ones that has lost more weight than what is "statistical" but I don't feel I'm any better than anyone. I do feel that I have been making some good choices and should feel proud of those choices and help others by inspiring them to make those same choices. You will see eventually that sometimes you will read a post that is so ridiculous it's impossible not to sound patronizing in your advice. Example:"I"m a few days out and just so hungry, do you think I can just eat food even though I'm not supposed to?" Or another favorite of mine "I was just banded this week, what should I be eating?"....or the woman who's port stuck out her body and they cut it off with scissors....the list goes on and on.

Good luck on your own journey and take what you read here for what it is. Kinda like e-mail or text messaging you can't read emotion or sarcasm or rudness in the words sometimes.

[kbush 176]

I understand how you feel and there are a few people on this site that "knows everything about everybody's band" .. I just ignore EVERY comment they make. Some people are just giving advice because they know what worked for them and they just want to share. I love to read the success stories of others and their technique. What I don't like is for people to get angry and band bash because of their irresponsibility post band. I worked hard and sacrificed to pay for my band out of pocket! So, yes I will treat my band with respect and I will continue to talk about my success. Find you a few people who you can depend on for true HONEST support. I have an awesome group of gals and we Celebrate together and we tell the truth to one another. I wish you the best on your journey

[Toddy 758]

The important thing to remember is that every single one one of us were wls newbies once. I'm two years out from the beginning of my research phase and feel like I have some experience that can benefit others because my road has been quite bumpy.

However, I still benefit from other's experience and advice on this forum and still ask the occasional question.

The truly ignorant people are the ones that think the learning phase is over. Once you stop learning, I think you stop living (figuratively speaking, of course).

[SandyM 1,956]

I hope I'm not one of those annoying people you speak of, in fact my site given title is now "Bariatric Master" which is a FAR CRY from where I am.....I am 8 months out, I'm still in the newly wed phase as I call it, I'm still getting fills, and learning the ropes, and one of the "newbies" I guess. At the same time, I come to this site almost every day, to listen, to advise, to learn. It keeps me motivated to talk to others like me. Yes, I am one of the lucky ones that has lost more weight than what is "statistical" but I don't feel I'm any better than anyone. I do feel that I have been making some good choices and should feel proud of those choices and help others by inspiring them to make those same choices. You will see eventually that sometimes you will read a post that is so ridiculous it's impossible not to sound patronizing in your advice. Example:"I"m a few days out and just so hungry, do you think I can just eat food even though I'm not supposed to?" Or another favorite of mine "I was just banded this week, what should I be eating?"....or the woman who's port stuck out her body and they cut it off with scissors....the list goes on and on.

Good luck on your own journey and take what you read here for what it is. Kinda like e-mail or text messaging you can't read emotion or sarcasm or rudness in the words sometimes.

LOL, no you are certainly not one I'm talking about. I love your posts and you have a whole lot of good input. I'm not sure when we stop being newbys. I think I read somewhere someone wrote 5 years.

[B-52 7,113]

For the years I have been following this website, it has ALWAYS had the reputation of being negative....

Seems every other day I read posts where someone who is having problems with the band, gets attacked by other members....From People on a power trip???

Then there are people who, on the other end of the spectrum, who are 100% successful, never having a single problem and say this is absolute easy and heavenly...well they get attacked also.....People who are jealous?

I see people get criticized for just about anything for everything here....

Me? I just tell my story, my life with the band...if people don't like it and want to be critical and negative, it doesn't make it any less true...

And I like to watch who is being the negative people who criticize all the time...their the true "Experts" or so they feel....

This is a equal opportunity website....as Bob Dylan said..."Everyone Must get Stoned" that's life....

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

i admit i would be (lost) without this forum...my thoughts on the new site features are not very good at present but i admit 100% that this forum has helped me...i have met/made some good friends on here that i care about and who i encourage and they in turn encourage me...its nice to know (we) are not alone in this saga of our lives...

i now block those i dont care to view their posts/comments and no longer let it bother me..and it use too....let me tell you...but no matter what, the best thing to do is always ALWAYS refer to your own doctor/surgeon....regardless of whom has had a band for how long or how successful they are...or how unsuccessful they are.....with all things in life, things vary.....this includes all WLS, the patient compliance (or lack there of).....but i admit, i have wrote down things i read on here and aksed my dr.....and as always, i go by what HE tells, advises me.....even if it is against what someone else (or their doctor or whatever someone pulled off the web somewhere).....he is my dr and that is whom i listen too...

this forum is great....just some people dont make it so great sometimes..just block them, and move on.....and def dont respond to them as its what they want you to do...so not worth it..

[cheryl2586 3,053]

I don't understand why people let words bother them. That is all they are. Words. You don't know how they are meant but take them the way that you want when the poster may not have even meant them to be mean or nasty. If you don't know the person and their personality you may be misconveying the very thing they were talking about. I would just say ignore them if that is how you feel. I never could understand someone needing to rant about anyone on a forum because isn't that the same thing you are doing is being mean about other people?

[kll724 3,055]

Can't please all the people all the time...as with anything in life, you will meet people of all shapes and colors....

Funny, I just read a thread about how and why some people cannot stand other people who are "happy" with their bands.....interesting therories....

I use the ignore feature...works for me...that way the people simply "Do Not Exist anymore" and thy "Know it all" attitudes cannot get under my skin....never see their posts or replies....

I'd rather hear people's first hand experiences, good and bad, positive and negative, as long as it is the truth and not what other people may "Think" should be the truth because they read an article, or saw a you-tube....rather I want to know how it effects the person...what have they found to work or not work for them.....

I agree, I hoep that I have never said or done anything to offend anyone, and if I have, please forgive me!

[kll724 3,055]

I hope that I have never said or done anything that would offend any of you, if so, please forgive me!

[SandyM 1,956]

I hope that I have never said or done anything that would offend any of you, if so, please forgive me!

I find that you have always been very nice

[Sojourner 2,446]

Maybe I'm being over sensitive or whatever. I havent been on the board that long, but I've been getting the feeling lately that there are "veterans" on this board (I'm using this term loosely cuz I'm certainly not talking about everybody here) are looking down your noses at those they like to fondly refer to as newbys. Like most of us, I appreciate some good pointers and advice but sort of resent the attitude I see here alot about newbys (and I hate that term) need to be told how to feel or what they are feeling and basically how to get this thing right. There are those on this board, and to name a few, Carolinagirl and Mis73, whose opinion and advice I truly respect and are not among the ones I'm referring to here. There are others that just seem to be trying to impress others with how much they know about the banding process and their ability to lose weight. Newsflash!!! You're no better at it than any of us! After all, you too needed WLS to get your weight under control. Thats why we are here, all of us. I get it! You lost your weight in record time. You did great. Yea!!! I may or may not do everything the same way as you did. Ill try different things until I find what works for me. But, give us a break already. Guess some of us are still in the learning phase. I plan to always be in the learning phase cuz I have a problem with obesity and that may not ever be totally resolved. Like I said, that's why I'm here. I just want you guys to know, that those of you who offer nonjudgemental advice and options, I appreciate it. Those of you who just want to strut your stuff and impress the rest of us "newbys" with your awesome wealth of knowledge about lapbanding..............rants over. Just sayin.

There is some validity in what you write in your post, however it is our interpretation of a message which can place the "negative spin" on a post. I do consider myself a veteran of sorts here, because I have experienced numerous events which all posters here can either relate to or have experienced. And I also understand how one can misinterpret the spirit of a message. With the written word it is easy; there is a lack of intonation and body language to interpret.

Just because someone has lost a greater number of pounds and/or posts constantly on most every topic does not give those individuals a greater status among experienced Bandsters. There are many posters who are quietly going about creating their own success stories. I have immense respect for most everyone who is successful with doing the right things for themselves and is able to share the resulting weight loss. I believe emotionally healthy individuals have no need for constant external validation of success. There are a number of forum members who become highly opinionated should anyone with a different opinion pr perspective post something to share additional insights. No one can have all of the right answers all of the time, not even physicians.

I agree that there are some very opinionated individuals on this forum, and they tend, in my experience, to become quite what I would term to be aggressive with their written words. I tend to consider the source of the comments and move on.

We owe it to ourselves to embrace learning what we individually need to from others who have "walked the walk", and just ignore what we don't perceive as useful or negative. Let the rest slide off as best you can...

Others mileage can vary...

[jamilyne 102668 1,207]

I posted a rant similar to this recently but it kind of got list in the new website- I agree totally!!!!

[SandyM 1,956]

Yeah but now some folks are a little peaved at my post. I didn't name any names but you would have thought I had. I just was pointing out that some folks forget this is a support forum. I'm learning as I go, but I come here cuz it's a place where lap banders gather. I could (an do) ask questions of my surgeons. But I see them monthly only. I have full confidence in the answers I get from them and they are not condescending. I also know how to research the web and I do that too. Could I do it without this site? Of course. But I enjoy talking to folks who have and are experiencing what I have. I don't need a lecture, a teacher or a mentor for that matter. But I do have those that inspire me. They are nonjudgmental and friendly and if ineed questions answered I feel confidence in their answers.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

I don't think anyone is peeved at your post. Again you are taking text and making it how you see it or view it. I don't take people's words to heart on here. You have to go with the good or the bad and whatever people write is not always how it sounds. This is not a place where you know every single person so you can't say what they are thinking or feeling when they answer you. You can take a sentence such as: Well why did you do that and four different people will take that same sentence and interpret it differently. What seems smart mouth to some may not be smart mouth to others. No you didn't name names but you're ranting about how people act here is just as bad as you thinking they are being mean. You are doing exactly to others what you don't want done to you. It's the same thing only done differently. I always say there is a block button on here and if you don't like how someone talks then block them. End of story.