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I'm sure we all have a jealous friend well I've had one for 20 years! She's jealous of everything I do but it feels like my husband has a blind spot about it as he likes her grrr!

She's a glamorous woman with amazing hair (she's a hair stylist) immaculate make up but she's pretty heavy and since quitting smoking she's getting bigger. She is now bigger than my starting weight I would guess.

She is one of the people I did NOT want to know I was getting surgery as my business would have been all over town she's an incurable gossip and everyone would have found out whether I wanted them to know or not. So I've kept it a secret and as I'm losing slowly my gradual loss isn't too shocking.

I lost weight on my own 10 years ago over 100lbs and when she saw my changing she joined Light Life. It took me 3 years to lose the weight as I'm a slow loser (still am despite surgery) and I exercised constantly and went to weight watchers. She joined Lighter Life and got to goal within 6 mths! She ended up lighter than me but it didn't last for either of us unfortunately and over the years we both regained most of it.

So now I'm changing again not once has she given me a compliment she completely refuses to discuss it and I understand how that feels but last night I dreamt that I saw her and she was a size 0 and lost her weight overnight. It's not a very healthy relationship!

Last time she lost weight she was always getting on my scale at my house to show me her weight and telling me her jean size and all the men that had hit on her that week! It got more than a little annoying. I haven't done that now the tables are turned I've just been quietly getting in with it. I'm not at a low enough weight yet to get to that stage anyhow but it's not kind to do that when someone close to you is struggling with their weight.

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We all know one for sure!!!

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My friend, I am sorry. If possible, the best reaction is no reaction at all.

If I can share a good Quaker quote:

“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves”

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I have to hand it to you for still considering her a friend. I sense that your continuing relationship with her is not because you are desperate for friends. You just have a lot of tolerance, you are a class act. You don't discard folks easily, ...strength of character.

I had a picture in my mind of a person with a pet jaguar. It is pretty but can turn on you in a heartbeat. :D

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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