Enabling

[gamergirl 4,610]

Wow! Thank you so much for sharing. Your story is a little bit of mine, too, and I'm sure many others can relate. I, too, was (am) a carb addict. It did cause additional hunger for me and my answer was to satiate that with additional carbs. I was a snacker ... big time. Peanut Butter and crackers trembled when they entered my home because they knew their time on the shelf was going to be short. And it was.

But quantity was also one of my issues. I would easily be over 3,000 calories daily if I honestly added up everything I ate. (snacks don't really count towards calories, do they?)

One of the most valuable things I have gained from this journey, now almost 2 and a half years out is a better understanding of how I became morbidly obese and my poor relationship with food. I believe this to be one of the blessings of this procedure which I never knew about. It is my opinion that those who struggle turn a blind eye to confronting these demons and deny their existence. It is difficult for sure, but a necessary part of my journey.

Thanks again for sharing!

Sorry to add even more to my long post but here was my other mal-adaptive behavior. My doctor did tell me to cut carbs when I became insulin resistant. But I didn't want to. So what did I do?

I searched the internet to selectively find research to support what *I* wanted to do. Who else has read the China diet end to end but me?? I looked for research because I am trained as a scientist. But I only looked for and tried the diets that *I* wanted to. I wasn't unbiased. I kept saying I could do it my way. And my way was all carbs, no meat.

The most important thing I've done post sleeve is make a deal with myself that I will not try to second guess the experts. Yes it's my body but no, I am not the expert.

There's a plan here. Keep calories under 800 at the first, eat at least 60 gms of Protein, limit carbs to under 50 gms, and drink at least 64 oz of Water. It's not complicated. But most importantly, it is NOT negotiable. I say this for me, not for everyone. This is my plan and it's not negotiable. I will not be hunting on the internet for research that tells me that people lose weight with a post-sleeve diet with lots of carbs. I will not be looking for a way to eat carbs.

THAT is much harder for me than fighting head hunger or not eating cake. That's the battle I need to win if I am to win this war.

I still lie to myself from time to time. I tell myself life is different after the sleeve. I say that perhaps when I'm in maintenance, I may be able to eat sugar once in a while.

But I won't be eating it today, and I guess that's what counts.

[BlessedBeyondMeasure2012 296]

Because I'm way behind and I'm catching up... Boy have I missed out the last couple of days!

The loosing losing thing you will lose(see?! I got it right) . Last time we posted about it, we were gently reminded that we should t make fun of those less educated than us.

Because the nauseous/nauseated thing bugs me too but I'm learning to cope

Naked video on the other hand! No one, not even butter is complaining about those!

GG, I get the loosing/losing thing but whats wrong with nauseous/nauseated? Are they not both correct terms? I'm so confused

I TOTALLY did that on purpose. LOL

(And the irregardless too. It's regardless.)

I SO was wondering about your irregardless phrase! I'm so glad it was intentional! I can be a grammer nerd even though I'm sure I make some of big mistakes

[mistysj 1,940]

Nauseous means "sickening" or "disgusting" as in "that huge pile of vomit on the sidewalk is nauseous," Nauseating means "making you feel like vomiting" as in "that vomit is nauseating to me."

http://www.grammarerrors.com/word-choice/nauseousnauseated/

[gamergirl 4,610]

Because I'm way behind and I'm catching up... Boy have I missed out the last couple of days!

GG, I get the loosing/losing thing but whats wrong with nauseous/nauseated? Are they not both correct terms? I'm so confused

I SO was wondering about your irregardless phrase! I'm so glad it was intentional! I can be a grammer nerd even though I'm sure I make some of big mistakes

So nauseated means you feel like you're going to throw up. Nauseous means something that makes YOU want to throw up. LIke "watching the maggots crawl was nauseous".

When you say I'm nauseous you are saying I'm so disgusting I make other people want to throw up when they look at me

[buplee 556]

I grew up in a household where my parents were both overweight and was encouraged to eat everything on my plate. Otherwise, I couldn't leave the dinner table. The meals growing up were large and fattening, I grew up in a southern household. I have thrown away some food but a lot of times, I eat part now and the rest later for my other small meal.

I haven't eaten large meals in the last few years, I just ate a lot of rich meals during my extensive business and personal travel. That coupled wit the fact that I was working 12-14 hour days (financial services pays well, but controls your life), caused my weight gain. I was leaving my home at 6:00 am and getting back home at 9:00 pm. I've learned how to be very selective when eating out in the months leading up to being sleeved.

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

Fluffster, has your husband considered self-pay in Mexico?

He refuses. I mean, we would have to save up for it so it wouldn't be immediate, but he has a really bad feeling about it and told me he won't even consider it. I'll bring it up again if we fail in appeal.

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

PdX, reading GamerGirl's story I have to say that it is more similar to mine than eating until pain every night. Hypothyroid, yes. Infrequent but several month in duration episodes of full body hives with no identifiable triggers other than stress. (Therefore, some inflammatory issues.)

However.

I did drink, almost nightly, and usually 2-3 glasses of red wine. (PS, if you're counting that is somewhere between 270 and 300 calories, most likely.) And then I wouldn't always sit down and eat meat, then veg, then carb. My favorite dinner? A handful of wheat thins. Seriously.

I went back and forth between very strict diets and "I don't care; it doesn't matter anyway." So that might mean that I was cooking and while I did know about low carb and Protein focused, it doesn't mean I was always compliant with that. I was rarely completely compliant. I do like meat, but I didn't always set myself up well.

I also stopped exercising for a long time (about 3-4 years) and only recently took it back up. That I gained 30 pounds in that time only tells me that probably my exercise was staving off the worst of my diet non-compliance. But really the diet was not consistent enough.

I think I flailed, a lot. I know that at different times I didn't think "it was fair" that I was unable to really get on top of this; that the inflammation was causing issues whenever I got serious about exercise or diet. I was at a relatively low weight a few years back after being really sick with chronic and acute gallbladder disease and thought, "Okay. Now I'll work with this," and by the time I felt well enough to start another exercise program, I got hives. Again. For about 10 months.

So I've used the term re-set. I really think of it that way. I go to see the doctor on Wednesday for my 4 week check up and am hoping to get cleared to go back to CrossFit. (Slowly.) I am going to do my best to change my habits. I'm encouraged by my experiences with eating so far.

[M2G 1,836]

[M2G 1,836]

GG - I was like you in that I wasn't a binge eater, or purger or anything like that...my biggest obstacle was grazing. Pre-sleeve I never had much in the way of SET times that I would eat, measure out a portion of food, etc. It was just grab what you want when you want. Unfortunately the sleeve will allow me to graze, so it's up to me to not allow that to happen. I eat on a fairly regular schedule now, and that seems to help a lot with grazing.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

I didnt binge/purge either but had a strong appetitte, pretty much ready for another meal within a few hours of the last, - insatiable at times -carb lover, grazer AND being post menopausal woman I dont seem to need much food. It still shocks me just how little food I actually need and frankly you dont need to overeat by a lot to stay fat....

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

Okay, absolutely loving the honesty and heart felt discussion going on here. Hugs to all of us in our crazy dysfunctionalism (current or past!!!) (and likely future).

[PdxMan 4,292]

Cowgirl, you sound a lot like me, except for the whole post menopausal thing. I think the only times I ate to the point of pain was Thanksgiving/Christmas, otherwise, I never ate to the point of pain, I just ate often and snacked in between those times. My appetite would be insatiable. After finishing lunch, my thoughts would turn to, "What's for dinner? " If I was bored, I would eat. I would eat to Celebrate, I would eat when I was sad. I always had an excuse as to why I was overweight.

And just like you said, CGJ, I am amazed at not only that I survive on how much I eat, but actually THRIVE! My mother just shakes her head when she eats with me. "How can you live on so little?" I just tell her, "It shows you how little your body actually needs." I think this is just so true. And this may be one of the things that differentiates "normal" BMI folks who can eat what seems like a lot of food. People may eat 2,000 calories, but does that necessarily mean my body absorbs 2,000 calories? Could it be a "normal" person with a "normal" BMI merely absorbs fewer calories passing the rest?

I don't know, but what I do know is that I did not have a healthy relationship with food. There is no denying that. But now ... don't let me kid myself ... I still have issues. But the sleeve helps me mitigate those issues better than I could before.

[gamergirl 4,610]

I think it's different for guys. I don't know that many men who put on weight without consuming large quantities of food. Women, not so much. As we age, or even after we have kids, breast feed, all of that, something changes significantly in our bodies and we can get fat on a LOT less and macro-nutrients matter a lot.

I thought my husband was the first man I knew who could weigh a lot without eating a lot. Then he told me that every week when I left to go out of town, he'd binge, and was too embarrassed to tell me. He also grazed a lot even when I was home. And when we had special meals, the man could eat.

Not so for me and I think based on Fluff and some other women's posts, I think it's really different for women.

[No game 14,437]

I binge.... I ate till pain. (But no I never ate a whole cake at once??) Then I would eat again..

I guess I'm "special"...

things are different for sure between men and women I know I have extra strikes being 47 thyroid issues and starvation diets through the years...

As drastic as everything that I have done in the past, diets and binging this surgery is the MOST drastic by far.. so it's got my full attention and my willingness to surrender and learn...

[PdxMan 4,292]

Oh, I totally agree men and women get overweight differently. That is one of the reasons why I was asking. Probably my own interpretation, but the whole thought of not understanding why people can't walk away from food would seem to indicate something else going on. But perhaps you can understand this phenomenon more than you let on in your earlier post ...? Maybe? You said yourself you had difficulty passing on cake or those evil little chocolate Little Debbie type things ... right? Is it a large leap to understand that other folks may have the same demons as it relates to other foods?

Again, please don't interpret this as judging. You know I'm not the best at massaging things into warm and fuzzy posts, but I am honestly curious about how this works as I also see this in my other 12 step program and am trying to understand this better.