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Does anyone else get this comment..........?



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Does anyone else get this comment, "You don't look like you need to loose weight"? I am 5 9", 264 pounds (down from 289) with a BMI of 38.5 and wear a size 22. Whenever I talk about me loosing weight that is the response I get. I can't imagine what they would say if I mentioned me having the VSG. Is it me or has this society we live in gone that astray? Maybe people are being sarcastic or just feel bad and don't want too hurt my feelings. Either way I'm tired of hearing it.

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I had that a lot, too. I think it is our height. I am 5'10". I think people think we carry extra weight better since we are tall, so therefore, it is okay that we are a little heavier.

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I used to get that.... I'm 5'2" and was 205.... Now I get, "you look great!" or, I LOVE this one, "you are gonna shrink to nuthin'!" :)

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I get that a lot too. I take that it is meant as a compliment and keep it moving. I'm actually only 5' 5" but I'm pretty solid or so I'm told. People don't believe I'm 285. I honest don't think it is meant as a diss Alysha. There are a lot of other things people could say if the intent was to do harm. Just my opinion. :)

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5'9" 253lbs..."You don't look like you need to lose weight...your just thick" "your not trying to get skinny are you?" Thats what I get most of the time.

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It's probably because you are very attractive, combined with your height, as others have mentioned. You know it is unhealthy, so bravo for you for making a decision to change it.

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i'm 5'10" and I HEAR THIS ALL THE TIME!!! O M G!!! I usually reply..."well, YOU can carry alla this baggage around!" I do think it's our height. Now the hubby, he told me HE thinks I look great and don't need to lose, but I take that as a compliment from him. I did this for me, cuz I don't want to be on BP meds or be pre-diabetic any longer. Try not to let it get to you though...the ones who really matter will understand and be supportive of you, the others...well...they don't matter:)

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Your all right! Goodness, I never realized how much mental work this journey would require. I thought that I wouldn't need to go to support group. But now I'm second guessing that.

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Does anyone else get this comment' date=' "You don't look like you need to loose weight"? I am 5 9", 264 pounds (down from 289) with a BMI of 38.5 and wear a size 22. Whenever I talk about me loosing weight that is the response I get. I can't imagine what they would say if I mentioned me having the VSG. Is it me or has this society we live in gone that astray? Maybe people are being sarcastic or just feel bad and don't want too hurt my feelings. Either way I'm tired of hearing it.[/quote']

People get uncomfortable addressing our weight, they say it to try and make us feel better. Like ignoring our problems will make them disappear.

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I told a new friend that I had sleeve surgery and he said, "oh, I never thought of you being person who needed weight loss surgery." Really? The extra 80 lbs I was carrying, the size 18-20 clothes that I was bursting out of, the fat face wasn't a clue?

I agree, people just don't know what to say. Sometimes I tell people who comment on my weight loss that I had WLS and wait for that completely panicked look on their face. There really is no accepted response. If I told them I had cancer, or someone died, they could show their sympathy. If I told them I lost weight through Weight Watchers or some other traditional method, then they could tell me about their weight loss experience. But what do you say to WLS? It throws people. I actually think it's pretty funny.

Edited by cindymg

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I told a new friend that I had sleeve surgery and he said' date=' "oh, I never thought of you being person who needed weight loss surgery." Really? The extra 80 lbs I was carrying, the size 18-20 clothes that I bursting out of, the fat face wasn't a clue?

I agree, people just don't know what to say. Sometimes I tell people who comment on my weight loss that I had WLS and wait for that completely panicked look on their face. There really is no accepted response. If I told them I had cancer, or someone died, they could show their sympathy. If I told them I lost weight through Weight Watchers or some other traditional method, then they could tell me about their weight loss experience. But what do you say to WLS? It throws people. I actually think it's pretty funny.[/quote']

I'm cracking up at the" fat face wasn't a clue". Exactly! I'm going to try that response thing after post op. I'm a four year cancer survivor. Your absolutely right about the sympathy response. Soon I'll say I'm a cancer and WLS survivor and then watch their confusion:)

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I'm 5'4 245 lbs size tight 18. I'm one of the Lucky ones who tends to loose weight and gain it evenly all over. I hear all the time "you don't seem that over weight". I don't get it. When I seeladavidsalon a picture I'm in I can be in front of two people and I don't even look like a normal person. I think there is just too much political correctness and somehow "fat" became a bad word.

Edited by Seela

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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