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Does anyone else get this comment..........?

Does anyone else get this comment, "You don't look like you need to loose weight"? I am 5 9", 264 pounds (down from 289) with a BMI of 38.5 and wear a size 22. Whenever I talk about me loosing weight that is the response I get. I can't imagine what they would say if I mentioned me having the VSG. Is it me or has this society we live in gone that astray? Maybe people are being sarcastic or just feel bad and don't want too hurt my feelings. Either way I'm tired of hearing it.

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I had that a lot, too. I think it is our height. I am 5'10". I think people think we carry extra weight better since we are tall, so therefore, it is okay that we are a little heavier.

I used to get that.... I'm 5'2" and was 205.... Now I get, "you look great!" or, I LOVE this one, "you are gonna shrink to nuthin'!" :)

I get that a lot too. I take that it is meant as a compliment and keep it moving. I'm actually only 5' 5" but I'm pretty solid or so I'm told. People don't believe I'm 285. I honest don't think it is meant as a diss Alysha. There are a lot of other things people could say if the intent was to do harm. Just my opinion. :)

5'9" 253lbs..."You don't look like you need to lose weight...your just thick" "your not trying to get skinny are you?" Thats what I get most of the time.

It's probably because you are very attractive, combined with your height, as others have mentioned. You know it is unhealthy, so bravo for you for making a decision to change it.

i'm 5'10" and I HEAR THIS ALL THE TIME!!! O M G!!! I usually reply..."well, YOU can carry alla this baggage around!" I do think it's our height. Now the hubby, he told me HE thinks I look great and don't need to lose, but I take that as a compliment from him. I did this for me, cuz I don't want to be on BP meds or be pre-diabetic any longer. Try not to let it get to you though...the ones who really matter will understand and be supportive of you, the others...well...they don't matter:)

  • Author

Your all right! Goodness, I never realized how much mental work this journey would require. I thought that I wouldn't need to go to support group. But now I'm second guessing that.

Does anyone else get this comment' date=' "You don't look like you need to loose weight"? I am 5 9", 264 pounds (down from 289) with a BMI of 38.5 and wear a size 22. Whenever I talk about me loosing weight that is the response I get. I can't imagine what they would say if I mentioned me having the VSG. Is it me or has this society we live in gone that astray? Maybe people are being sarcastic or just feel bad and don't want too hurt my feelings. Either way I'm tired of hearing it.[/quote']

People get uncomfortable addressing our weight, they say it to try and make us feel better. Like ignoring our problems will make them disappear.

I told a new friend that I had sleeve surgery and he said, "oh, I never thought of you being person who needed weight loss surgery." Really? The extra 80 lbs I was carrying, the size 18-20 clothes that I was bursting out of, the fat face wasn't a clue?

I agree, people just don't know what to say. Sometimes I tell people who comment on my weight loss that I had WLS and wait for that completely panicked look on their face. There really is no accepted response. If I told them I had cancer, or someone died, they could show their sympathy. If I told them I lost weight through Weight Watchers or some other traditional method, then they could tell me about their weight loss experience. But what do you say to WLS? It throws people. I actually think it's pretty funny.

Edited by cindymg

  • Author
I told a new friend that I had sleeve surgery and he said' date=' "oh, I never thought of you being person who needed weight loss surgery." Really? The extra 80 lbs I was carrying, the size 18-20 clothes that I bursting out of, the fat face wasn't a clue?

I agree, people just don't know what to say. Sometimes I tell people who comment on my weight loss that I had WLS and wait for that completely panicked look on their face. There really is no accepted response. If I told them I had cancer, or someone died, they could show their sympathy. If I told them I lost weight through Weight Watchers or some other traditional method, then they could tell me about their weight loss experience. But what do you say to WLS? It throws people. I actually think it's pretty funny.[/quote']

I'm cracking up at the" fat face wasn't a clue". Exactly! I'm going to try that response thing after post op. I'm a four year cancer survivor. Your absolutely right about the sympathy response. Soon I'll say I'm a cancer and WLS survivor and then watch their confusion:)

I'm 5'4 245 lbs size tight 18. I'm one of the Lucky ones who tends to loose weight and gain it evenly all over. I hear all the time "you don't seem that over weight". I don't get it. When I seeladavidsalon a picture I'm in I can be in front of two people and I don't even look like a normal person. I think there is just too much political correctness and somehow "fat" became a bad word.

Edited by Seela

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