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My mother in law died this am....



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4 wks ago we drove down to Ca to help out with my MIL. I knew she had Parkinsons right away. The following 2 weeks, we took care of her. My FIL asked us to move in to help with her, him (he's 90) and the house. We agreed. We'll move our whole lives 16 hrs away and move into hubbys old bedroom. Then MIL was in the hospital with a colon infection. Afer a week, we drove home to pack and move.

She seemed to be getting better. She was talking and asking to go home. We spent a week at home (Oregon) and left yesterday, 4 days before we were scheduled to leave. Hubby had a feeling we should go early. Stopped 1/2 way there for the nite. Got a call this am that she had died. Hubbys dad was with her. Hubbys upset cuz we didn't make it in time.

And I already had 1/2 donut wirh coffee this am. I'm sure there's gunna food galore for the next week. Not even gunna worry about what I eat this week. Since I can eat so little I don't think it'll make much of a difference in the long run.

Hubbys never ever lost anyone. My dad died when I was 20 and my husband died when I was 40. I'm a pro at this now. I know what FIL is feeling right now. But being on the other side, I don't know what to say to him...

Just wanted to vent. Riding in a 22 ft truck with our car on the back. Gives me something to do...

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So sorry to hear your sad loss! It is never easy to know what to say but just being by your hubbies side and supporting him will make it so much better for him. Don't forget to look after you as well though.

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I am so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful, loving, selfless person you are to be willing to move away from home to help care for your husbands family.

I just want to say that since you can eat so little, it matters even MORE what you eat. You need to eat properly so that you can feel well and be there for your hubby. If you eat sugar and carbs instead of Protein and plenty of Water, you are going to feel like crap. Please do take care of yourself so that you can be there for husband & FIL.

Best of luck to you. You will be in my prayers.

Edited by Momonanomo

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You and your family will be in my prayers.

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So sorry for your loss, will pray for you and your family.

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I'm so sorry to hear this. You and yours will be in my prayers.

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I'm so sorry for your loss. Watch your Protein and fluids. You'll feel better if you aren't sick. I will be thinking of you.

Lynda

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Sorry for your loss.

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I am sorry for the lost of your mil!

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so sorry to hear. Be sure to take care of yourself so you can be there for all the others who will be leaning on you.

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My Prayers go out to you and your family but remember to take care of yourself and eat healthy , this is an emotional time and you need to be strong and healthy for your family as well as yourself.

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I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for you and your family.

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I'm so sorry for your loss. Keeping you and you're family in prayers!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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