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Is lapband for me?



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Hi Everyone,

Newbie here... primarily a lurker so far... in the "decision" stages of whether lapband is for me / if I realistically think I can do it. I've been to the intro seminar and have been reading all I can on this site. I feel fairly confident that I understand the mechanics of the band and the requirements. I go for my initial consult w/the surgeon on Thursday.

Here's where I'm stuck in my decision-making process: Can I do it?? Can I really live with not eating bread (Pasta, pizza, etc...) ever again? Bagels, cinnamon rolls, danish, warm donuts... I know that these foods and my emotional reliance on them is what has led me to my lovely 315+ lbs... but I am concerned that my head won't let go and I'll still want a giant bowl of Pasta but will be physically able to eat only a teensy bit of something else and I'll go crazy w/it. Does this make sense? Or am I already crazy??

I feel like I am at a major crossroads in my life... continue and get fatter & more miserable & then die... or do something completely different & major to shake myself up and jumpstart a new approach to life/food/living. When I think of it this way, the answer is clear to me. But when I imagine the day-to-day... I'm scared that I won't have the strength to do what needs to be done for the long-term.

Back and forth... back and forth... this analysis runs round my head in a big circle. Does anyone have any advice for me?

Thanks!

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Welcome Mdrai. I understand exactly what you are talking about. I felt the exact same way and question that on a regularly. I did ultimately decide to get banded; on Feb 5th, so only been a few weeks. Here is what I came to the realization.... since my weight problem was derived from pastas, breads, rice, etc. I knew I had issues anyway. So either I was going to have to come to grips with putting these items in moderation on my own or I was going to need help. I decided on the band - I needed the help. Keep in mind the band is simply restriction, therefore, eventually I will be able to eat the bad food along with the good. However, it will help me manage the quantity. What I am finding since I have been banded, is that I am making better choices. Granted I am not at the stage where bread is really an option, however, I made the commitment for a lifestyle change because my weight was out of control and I could not do it on my own. With that being said, even if you decide to get banded, you will still need to have discipline, the band is merely a guide. Trust, it is not a magic wand where it is all easy, but it has been very helpful. You are doing the right thing by researching it further. Make sure it is right for you. It is surgery and there is recovery involved. I have two small children, and the recovery has not been just a matter of days for me. I just feel as though I have turned the corner. Giver yourself plenty of time to recover if you do go for it. And get involved with this board or another support group. You will need it to stay on track and other "banded" folks are super supportive. And you will continue to have lots of questions. This is a great place to come for information. You are truly getting it from those who have experienced it all. Best wishes in whatever you decide. Take care, Kim

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From what I understand, that intense and powerful drive to consume carbohydrates is fueled in part by insulin and hormone imbalances, which correct themselves once the weight normalizes and body fat percentage reduces. I have struggled with the same question, "will I really enjoy a life without frequent, glorious, delicious carb indulgences?" But when we have such powerful cravings, it's really because we want something, we feel like we need to have something, and that chocolatey or sugary, or breadly goodness will fuflill that need (and I know, it does). But if we don't have that driving need, that all-consuming desire for the carb rush, then it's not really missing out, right? If we break ourselves of the carb addiction, then maybe it won't actually feel like such deprivation. That's what I'm banking on anyway. I'm a total carb addict and a life without them seems close to joyless, but I think it'll be ok. I've done carb de-tox before and when I finally reach that point, it doesn't make carbs any less delicious, but I do feel less like I need them to get through the day.

I'm getting banded in April. Keep us posted on your decision. I definitely feel your pain.

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Ditto! I hear you--I'm going to my first seminar tonight and I'm SO nervous. I had this discussion with my husband this morning: what will change? can I do it? why can't I do it without the band if I can do it with? are we gambling all this money on another potential failure? how will I know if I can do it or not? Why am I so ashamed to mention the possibility to anyone (let alone the fact I am going to do it, if I decide to, or that I did do it, if I eventually end up there)?

This morning I was looking at Al Roker on TV and remember how heavy he was and then how thin he got but now he seems to be heavier than he was. I wonder why and if that will happen to me. It scares me.

Thanks for your honestly. I'm feeling everything you expressed. I often think that I can't live without that stuff and that I'm willing to sacrifice it so I can live better and healthier, but if I'm willing to do that, why can't I do it without the surgery??? That is the question I can't answer.

Good luck!

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I felt the same way was I doing the right thing could I live w/out bread Pasta. YES I CAN !!! And the results out weigh the alternitive of being fat. I was banded 10/2006 and 47lbs lighter and feel great.

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I think you will find that your food cravings will change after surgery. I can eat bread, just not much of it. I can also eat Pasta but not much of it either. You will do fine. The band is a great tool. Good luck in your decision.

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Thank you each for responding! It helps to know that I'm not alone in having these thoughts & feelings.

I love this: "will I really enjoy a life without frequent, glorious, delicious carb indulgences?" -- it sums up my worries perfectly!

Also, "I'm willing to sacrifice it so I can live better and healthier, but if I'm willing to do that, why can't I do it without the surgery??? " This is another question I've posed to myself. I think I've come to know that with the amount of weight I need to lose, plus the multiple attempts (some successful!) over the past 20 years, that this time needs to be something really different, really drastic.... literally, a last hope.

I feel stuck in my head... I'm hoping that meeting w/the surgeon, etc., on Thurs will help me know the right thing to do. I'm so confident and boisterous and capable in my "real life"... this uncertainty and worry are really throwing me for a loop! I'm in a very meditative, quiet place... so not like me!

Thanks again, everyone!

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This morning I was looking at Al Roker on TV and remember how heavy he was and then how thin he got but now he seems to be heavier than he was. I wonder why and if that will happen to me. It scares me.

Ditto for me, too!

I've noticed that about Al Roker, too. And just think, he had the bypass, now he's hosed.

I have my consult scheduled for the Band on 3/20. I have been trying desperately to lose the 27lbs my insurance says I have to to be approved (it's an MD prescribed diet thing, I have to lose 5% of my total excess weight in a year, but my problem is I gained 17lbs from when I started, so now I have to lose 27 lbs...but that's for another thread). I've been carb addicted since I can remember. I tried Atkins before, and South Beach, the Zone, etc... So this time I'm limiting my carbs to about 40-60gms per day and trying to eat only whole grains if I eat bread/crackers/etc... It's NOT working and my face is breaking out like crazy! I've NEVER had pimple problems (I'm 37), so this is killing me.

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My surgeon helped me understand why some people fail even with the band....that if you are an emotional eater or a binge eater, that you might have more problems losing the weight because you can still get the calories in if you are determined to do that. (makes sense) He said that the most successful ones are people that CAN lose weight rather successfully on other diets like WW or Atkins or whatever. In other words, it's the people who know how to control their impulses that will succeed. This will take all the determination WW would, except now you shouldn't gain the weight BACK because the restriction is always there.

I love bread just as much as the next person, but I know from experience with low carbing that I can and DO feel so much better when I don't eat those things. For me the 'feeling better' was a big reward in itself. I regained my weight when I quit smoking and hit menopause and started trying to keep up with my husband at the dinner table. But since I'm not a person who generally will sit down with a gallon of ice cream or 1/2 of a chocolate cake, and I have a good nutrition background, I feel confident I will do well with the band...and my doctor does, too.

You are asking yourself the right questions. The important thing is to answer honestly.

Good luck to you!!!

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I can really relate to what momlambert is saying. I will be paying for this myself, too, and I would feel really guilty if I don't make it work. I keep thinking the same thing also, why can't I just do it without a $15000 surgical procedure? I feel so weak! I have been on every diet known to man, and I can lose weight, but I never keep it off. I bought Dr. Phil's book, but I have not completed reading it. I keep telling myself I should just read his book and follow the recommendations, and I'll lose weight for good, but then I wonder who am I kidding?

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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