My husband and I met when we were young and fit and in the military. It is 13 years later with 3 kids and retirements. We packed on the weight together. He is at least 100lbs overweight, as am I. I had my gastric bypass surgery May 8 and I am recovering well. Except hubby keeps bringing up that I will leave him if he doesn't keep up with me in weightless, I want to reassure him, but at the same time I want him to make some changes. Anyone else go through this?

Congrats on your decision to have WLS unfortunately there is no way to reassure anyone your not leaving them but if he wants to he can be motivated by you & the both of you can work out or he can have the WLS also if he is willing to have a life change.

Congrats on your decision to have WLS unfortunately there is no way to reassure anyone your not leaving them but if he wants to he can be motivated by you & the both of you can work out or he can have the WLS also if he is willing to have a life change.

I think you are right. I am hoping he will get motivated to get with a healthier lifestyle.

As all of us who are or have been overweight know, no-one else can talk us in to losing weight. It's not gonna happen till 'we' are ready.

However as you lose weight and start enjoying a healthier life he will probably get motivated to come to a decision himself to get on with it.

It's easier for men to lose weight and when he is ready to make the diet and lifestyle changes then his own weight loss and sense of well being should be enough to keep up the motivation... hopefully.

In the meanwhile tell him to quit harping on about you leaving him because that's not gonna happen but him harping on annoys the hell out of you lol.

And if he doesn't lose any weight for a long time, if at all, well, just remember that we all expect and want people to accept us the way we are, it's no different for him.

Good luck xox

My husband felt the same way for the first few months. After reassuring him I wasn't leaving things have gotten better. Took him awhile and he is now even trying to get healthier. I just keep telling him that I love him for him and he loved me for who I was and who I am now....why would I leave him for someone that wouldn't have given me a second look 6 months ago.

HW: 331 SW: 11/26/12 319lbs CW: 225 05/03/13 GW: 157

My husband felt the same way for the first few months. After reassuring him I wasn't leaving things have gotten better. Took him awhile and he is now even trying to get healthier. I just keep telling him that I love him for him and he loved me for who I was and who I am now....why would I leave him for someone that wouldn't have given me a second look 6 months ago.

HW: 331 SW: 11/26/12 319lbs CW: 225 05/03/13 GW: 157

Thank you for responding. I think it must be difficult to see someone you love making these big changes on their own. If I put myself in his shoes, I can understand his unease. I'm just a bit irritated that he would think I am so shallow.

Thank you for responding. I think it must be difficult to see someone you love making these big changes on their own. If I put myself in his shoes' date=' I can understand his unease. I'm just a bit irritated that he would think I am so shallow.[/quote']

It's their insecurities. I can say I'd probably feel the same way. I kinda did before I had surgery. I was bigger then he was and thought he'd leave me cause of it. It hurt that he thought that but I'd do little things to make sure he knew I was staying. Make his favorite dessert, dinner, Snacks, get him a video game or just little things to say thanks for sticking with me and helping me with this huge change in my life. Plus telling him I loved him as often as I could helped.

HW: 331 SW: 11/26/12 319lbs CW: 225 05/03/13 GW: 157

thanks Heather, you are speaking awesome truths.