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Negative feedback from family.



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I am having a hard time, my side of the family is behind me 100%. But my in-laws are so negative about it. It shouldn't bother me since I have the support I need, but it only takes one nay sayer to ruin my excitment. :( they don't understand why I can just diet and work out.

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Nicole, stop listening to others! This is about you, your health, your body. They will never understand unless they walk in your shoes. I had my surgery 2/19/13 I weighed 194, today I weigh 161.5. I'm 5'2. Some people dont understand how I got it done, couldn't I be more discipline or exercise more. I'm like no I had no will power or I would have done it! Stay strong!

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Self-empowerment is intimidating to others. WLS is self-empowerment. as your self-empowerment grows, those round you whoever relationships with you here based on a perceived lack in your power will be threatened. some of the relationships evolve. Some must disappear.

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dear nicole

just forget about them fools.

you have all the weight to lose and gain such a better and HAPPIER and HEALTHIER life to gain.

and you have your family's support. they are the ones that really count. good luck, girl!

Obeasta

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Send them to hell! I careless what others have to say.

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they aren't just negative about your WLS - they ARE negative. If they were saying things like we worry about the surgery risks, that would be normal. If they are telling you you can meet your goals through diet & dicipline & Exercise, then ask them why they aren't rich sucessful lawyers or brain surgeons????

This thread kills me! I too deal with this myself - and from my own damn husband!!! And yes, he IS a negative person, not just specific to the WLS.

F*CK THEM!!! This is for you. PS this is NOT about their son either!!! My in-laws quickly became Out-laws!

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Why is your PERSONAL HEALTH up for discussion anyway? People (in-laws or not) need to learn their place. I wish someone would try to force their opinions/judgement/questions about MY health on me! My husband is not allowed to tell anyone about my surgery plans and that includes his family. Even if I hadn't spoken the words he would never tell anyone anyway. I don't know if they would have anything negative to say or not and if they did, they wouldn't say it to me! I just don't think it is any of their business. Not that I care what other people think, but I'm not going to give them the opportunity to ATTEMPT to volunteer their opinion. I've only told my parents, my sister and a close cousin about my plans. You need to do what's best for you and tell them that you are not concerned with whether or not they understand your dieting and/or exercise habits. I'm sure there is a nicer way of telling them to mind their own business, but someone else will have to help you with that...

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Thank you for the support! I just have to put them out of my head. My husband was iffy about it at first cause he doesn't want anything bad to happen to me. But he has come to realize I want and need this to be healthy and happy. I wish my surgery date was tomorrow lol that's how eager I am to get started!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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