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Not sure if anyone have the same problem that I have but I find its hard to go on a date. A lot of the guys that I have gone out with don't understand how little I could eat and they are offended by it, It could also just be the type of men we have here in Ottawa, Canada :-(

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I always figure if it's meant to be you will find the right person that will understand you.

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I've just started dating as well. I tend to avoid food on the first few dates. But I always just say that I'm really watching what I eat and I really don't have a big appetite.

If they aren't understanding then I doubt they would be supportive of your choice to have the surgery.

I'm still nervous about when I have to tell a guy about the surgery though...

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I try to be upfront right away since I know right away when I tell them how they re-act and my that I make my decision if I see them again.

But so far all the men I have told have not been supportive. I'm sure I will find a decent guy in Ottawa one day

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That's what I do, go to movies and then 3 date we go for diner and then it goes down hill from there :-( oh well I just hope Mr right is out there

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You should start a new thread for singles looking to date!!! It would be wonderful if u found someone who knows about the surgery.

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

Great idea

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The good guys are out there! I've been seeing someone for about a month and just told him about the surgery. He didn't even bat an eye! His aunt had had it and he knows all about it.

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I had trouble getting dates at first. When most of my weight came off I had gone through a lot of changes. My hair was much thinner and I had an "average" body by then. I didnt eat like like an "average" person though. One guy I was dating thought I was a bulimic. When he found out the truth he was relieved... He was also a heavy man. Later, I dated another guy. He was slender and handsome and cared abut the way he looked very much. When I told him about my surgery he broke things off because he knew I'd probably "get fat again"!! What a jerk. Of course I was terrified to tell any guy about my surgery after that... A couple weeks later that jerk I was dating roommate called me and asked me out. I thought he probably just wanted to ask questions or make fun of me... Well, he had nothing but the best intentions. In fact his sister in law had also had a bypass and she did gain all her weight back. The fact that he knew I had a bypass and that he witnessed for himself that people can gain weight after bypasses and he still wanted to be with me. ....well all I can say 2 years later we got married. I had a lot of rejections in the beginning and a LOT of guys come out of the woodworks when they found out I was thin. I found a man who loves me no matter what I am or will be or could be. ADVICE? Don't settle. Get what you deserve.

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    • Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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