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Losing hope



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I hit my year mark for my band on Halloween 2006. I lost 30 lbs. pretty quickly, but I am only down maybe 40 lbs. in all. I am totally discouraged. Everyone tells me, eat this, eat that, do this, do that. I then feel like, well why did I get the band for if I need to do all the same I tried to do before. I have one more small fill to go, but am sooo embarrassed to go have it done and get weighed. I sometimes feel maybe I did the wrong surgery. My nephew had the bypass one wekk before me and is more than half of his former self! Please anyone else having this problem!

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I know you have heard it, but it is something I have to remind myself everyday, the band is a tool. It seems like some can eat what they want and still lose and then there are people that need to eat and make healthier choices like the ones suggested by the bandster rules. I for one, am sensitive to white flour products, unhealthy carbs, and sugar. So, I made the choice to start off this journey with Protein first, veggies, and a healthy carb if I have room.

In my opinion, and I could be wrong, but for me, I feel this journey was going to involve better choices, not a diet per se, but some kind of plan. I always tell myself if I fail to plan, I can plan to fail.

The thing that I see different this time, is I will lose the weight and using myself as an example, am choosing to do the South Beach. A lot of surgeons suggest it too, since it goes hand in hand with the bandster rules. It is by far, not low carb and not a restrictive way of life. It is just learning to replace some unhealthy foods with healthier choices. Like whole wheat Pasta and whole grain breads, whole wheat tortillas, etc.

When I get to the end of this journey, the band will keep me from regaining the weight. I will be able to maintain for the first time in my life.

To lose weight, you need to eat between 1200-1500 a day. I belong to another forum where someone on there actually wrote a manual for bandsters that doctors use. I am waiting for her permission to post it here.

With the bypass, you lose it fast, but have problems with certain foods and loose skin since you lose it so fast. You can also stretch out the pouch. I think you made the right choice and just need a fresh start!

The band does take work and I am also implementing as many tools as I can. The band, an appetite suppresant if I need it and haven't since starting solids, The South Beach and exercise (which I am starting on Monday)

If you feel you need a fill, don't be embarassed. They are there to support you and not make you feel bad. They probably see this kind of stuff all the time.

I hope this helps!!!

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Kimberly....I know exactly how you feel. My year mark is this Feb. and I've only lost about 40 pounds. Everyone is different but it's very frustrating to lose so slowly. The thing I have to remind myself is that I am 40 pounds less than I was last year. It could be worse, I could have gained. I've been rereading the bandster rules a lot lately and I'm scheduled for a fill on Wednesday. I've been eating carbs and I'm going to stop. It is embarrassing when I see that some people have lost 40 pounds in a couple of months. I guess I just wasn't completely prepared to change my eating habits when I got the band. I think I'm ready now to give it 100%. I finally understand that it's just a tool and I'm going to have to work harder than the average person. I think the hardest thing for me to get through my head is that I really might only need a few bites of food at a meal. Before my band started feeling so loose, I'd eat things that go down easily so I'd feel like I'd had enough to eat. I truly understand now that I need to stay away from the mushy food as much as possible.

What have you been doing or not doing that you think might be causing your slow loss?

Angie

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I have read and at the seminar on Saturday the doctor said that there is people with the band do better in the long run keeping their weight down than bypass even though in the weight loss with the bypass is faster. Did you get the band thinking it would be a quick and fast fix? I also go to another forum and a lot of the people with the bypass 3 yrs out or more are complaining of weight gain, even the doctor's helper at the seminar, she is 4yrs out and in the past year has gained 25 pounds that she is struggling with.

For the lapband people the great thing is the fills you can get a fill and feel full sooner the bypass people once their stomach starts to stretch there is nothing to help them.

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Kimberely, Sounds like you've got a lot of support here, if you want it. I agree with want everyone else has said. I have found on my own weight loss journey that if I don't eat between 1000-1200 calories/day and exercise at least 5 times a week. I don't lose. It sucks, but that is how it is for me. I'm an easy keeper. You might be too. I'm just grateful that I have the band and that everyone pound of lose is going to stay off! If you express your frustration to the doctor, they will offer support, not chastisement. Good luck! Keep us informed.

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Kimberly, don't give up because I know exactly how you feel. I am six months out and have only lost 25 lbs. I could have lost more by now, but I made some wrong choices in eating. For instance, chips, sodas, and ice cream. I have little restriction in what I can eat, so a fill is on my agenda also in the very near future. I also need to exercise, which I have not been doing either. So you are not alone, refocus and ask yourself what you're doing wrong, if any. Good luck!

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why did I get the band for if I need to do all the same I tried to do before.

If you eat healthfully...hard Proteins, avoid sugar, etc...then the band helps you "do the things you tried before" by helping you not be hungry as quickly and helps you keeps portion sizes down.

Before the band if I ate a half cup of food, I'd be STARVING. With the band I eat a half cup of food and I'm full.

THAT is why someone gets the band.

It will never be a "I can eat whatever I want and lose weight". It's not going to happen.

I'm sad because I think your doctor may not have told you all of this before you were banded.

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I know how you feel. I'm 8 months post op and have only lost 37 lbs. I am discouraged as well. The only advise I can give you is to get another fill and just try your hardest not to eat non band friendly foods. Do you have a doctors support group you can go to? Best of luck.

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Thank you all for your wonderful support, it has really helped. I put myself in a better state of mind, and have been reading alot about the band again and am making a fresh start this week. I have to realize I cannot eat how i did before, and really pay attention to what my body is telling me.

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I am at 2 years after surgery and have only lost about 45 lbs.... I am right there with you and your discouragement. I was not given alot of info on how much to eat and rules of the band... My original doc was not very social and pretty much just got me in and out. my whole process only took a couple of months from consult to surgery.

now I am paying the price. I have to go thursday for a barium swallow. I am having lots of gas pain and alot of stomach pain. I think I do overeat sometimes but a cup of food doesn't fill me. I know I need a fill but my new doc wants to make sure that everything is ok with my band first. then he said he will get me filled to a good level where as my other doc didn't listen to me when I said I could eat alot, he only put in .5 at time and I have only had 3.

I am ready to rededicate my self to this band and I am praying that my band is still in place. I want to start losing again and feel good about my self. Right now I feel like a failure to the band.

if anyone knows where I can get those rules of the band could you let me know....Thanks a million for this forum... I love this site, I totally don't feel alone in this journey anymore.

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Hi Kimberly

I have my one yr Bandiversary next week - and I am down only 36 pounds since the actual surgery + the 16 pre-op pounds. (52)

I am discouraged - but not with the band... I am discouraged with myself because I have not really be counting calories or exercising like I know I should.

There are good things that have come from the slowness of my loss:

1) I have had only 1 PB so far,

2) I have all my hair,

3) my skin isn't as baggy as I was worried it would be.

4) It takes a long time to recognize what "too much food" really means - but I am learning.

5) I have had lots of time for mental adjustment to being smaller - and I AM smaller, despite the "small" amount lost.

My doctor is NOT going to be pleased when I see him next week - but I really don't care.

I gained weight over the span of a lifetime. I don't think it's very realistic to expect to lose it all in the first year. Besides, having eaten mostly what I want and not having exercised much, my life has been very normal - no starvation, no deprivation.

And - when I hit a plateau - there is always some behavior I can improve to break through it.

I always assumed it would take me three years to get to goal. I figure I am pretty much "on plan" for that. I certainly will need every minute of the 3 yrs to get my "eating less" habit in place.

Don't be discouraged. As always, it is up to you to do what must be done - but the band will help you do it - and help you maintain what you lose.

Gastric surgery - $15,000

Gym membership - $300

Weighing less than 300 lbs for the first time in 10 yrs? Priceless.

Hugs!

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Would you have lost the 40 pounds anyway? This is what I'd ask myself! You've done terrific work. Even though you know the band requires work and proper restriction, it ok to be frustrated (especially when you so those ol' bypassers are passing you up). Remember, it's not a race!!! You already are the WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**The first year, for me, was a very emotional time. It also takes awhile to "wrap" our heads around our food/marriage/body/self worth issues.

Shawn

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Hi Kimberly - I know exactly how you feel - I was banded in Nov 05 and have only lost 7lbs. the only thing the band does for me is:

1. on good days: I'm appreciative of maintaining my weight - as a yo yo dieter for over 20 years that is something. I've also learned to eat a ton less food and chew etc.

2. on bad days: makes me feel even more crazy for being a failure at even the band.

I can't explain it - no matter what anyone says I have food diaries for over one year (that are true) and I can't lose weight. I've had metabolic tests done and exercise so I usually just shut up about my situation cuz no one wants to really hear it. Oh yeah and I exercise 4 times a week.

I can only say: maybe try something new, maybe try a fill, maybe try writing down food (that is always telling and most of us do underestimate our food)

Lastly I wouldn't be that discouraged as 1-2 lbs per week is normal (after the first fill) you don't even really count before then as pre fill time is for healing. So you aren't really off track - you've lost almost 1lb a week unless i'm reading/figuring out this wrong.

Really, don't be so discouraged (i know easier said then done) but I know many bandsters that haven't lost a thing - now that's really discouraging!

take care, good luck.

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I am surprised about the in an out of the doctor. This doctor that I am hoping to have the surgery with has tons of steps before you can have the surgery.

I had a packet full of questionaires that I got at the seminar to fill, once they get this packet they will review it and call me with an appointment with the surgeon and I will have to see a psychologist, attend a lap band educational class and meet with a support group of people who have had lap band surgery, I have also done a lot of reading on my own and I am asking myself lots of questions before my final decision to have the surgery. I am leaning towards the yes because I want to fill full after a few bites of food. I don't fry food the only fast food place we go to is Wendy's because I can get salads. I eat healthy but since I don't feel full easily I over eat.

This is why I am leaning to have the procedure.

Dalia

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I've gained a significant amount of weight each year for the last 5 years. Like at least 20 pounds. So, if I lose 40 pounds my first year with the band, I really have to understand that I'm actually 60 pounds less with the band than I would have been otherwise. That is something to keep in mind when considering success with the band.

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