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I love my job but I sooo do not want to talk about my surgery on the job. Most of the women I work with wear a size 0 a couple of them are size 3. Any ideas to not have to talk about my weight, surgery or diet?

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Unfortunately when your co workers start seeing how great you will look and how much weight your down there will be rumors and questions raised.. Take it from someone who works with adjudicated youth and about 200 employees. I've heard it all from my "skinny" "co-workers" and they really are curious, inquisitive only because they care about my health and get along very well together. But, working with detention centers I am the largest employee at the company. The only advice I can give is to either "hide it" and state you've been on strict diet- which is partially true; or, be blunt- "I had surgery, and dont wish to talk about it any further and ask they respect your wishes."

I have already gotten into very heated discussions about "taking the easy way out"- EVERYONE here knows WE HAVE NOT TAKEN THE EASY WAY! We have chosen a new lifestyle after exhausting everything else. I have also had the very inquisitive employees who want to know more about the procedure, etc. I simply say I had a lifestyle change please respect that and leave it alone. I dont want to get into a long story with everyone as to what i did, how i did it, etc.

I know not much help... But the best I can give.

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I am still pre op but have already lost 20 lbs in the past month everyone thinks its because i gave up soda and started exercising. I tell everyone i am just trying to get healthy for my kids.

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I work in a very pubic role in my office interacting with co-workers, customers and potential customers daily. Avoiding discussions took far more energy then just owning and talking about what I'd chosen to do. Most people feel awkward since they don't know if you will talk about it, they worry if "how are you today?" or "you look great" will upset you somehow.

You don't need details just "I'm under doctors care working on getting healthy. After years of other methods we choose to use surgery with the diet and excersie. I have to stick with my diet and eating schedule that are very different from before, but otherwise its the same as usual. I'm just going to be just a thinner, healthier version of me around here" and if your sassy throw in a 'so get used to it!' for good measure.

I found most people were positive and supportive when I gave this elevator speech. The ones who wanted more information that I really didn't want to talk to I told to google RNY, "they explain it better then I do".

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The thing that bothers me the most is when someone says ahhh u don't need that surgery just don't eat or do it on Ur own errrrr people just don't understand .

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All of my friends think that I am just being lazy and that I can do it on my own, but I can't!! The weight doesn't come off.... this is a very last resort.

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Of all of the questions that you'll see on the forum, this one may be the most personal decision everyone has to make for themselves. People are going to notice your weight loss. And some are going to be openly curious about your success. Others will be curious, but no so open. Some may be openly critical about your decision. Others will be critical, but not so open.

Personally, I am a decidedly private person but given the realities, I opted to just tell anyone who asked. Anyone who thinks "diet and exercise" is a viable solution to a worldwide obesity problem of epidemic proportions is at best ignorant of the disease, and at worst, a fool. I found that ALL of my friends and by far the vast majority of everyone else was incredibly kind and supportive. And as noted above, many asked and continue to be very interested in how I made the decision, how tough has it been and would I do it again - they are interested either for themselves, for loved ones, for friends or even just curiosity. I enjoy sharing my experience and many have expressed their admiration for my willingness to talk about it openly. If you're honest and open about it, it very quickly becomes yesterday's news and everyone just moves on with life. If you try to keep it a secret, I think that just adds fuel to the rumor mill and that can linger for a long time.

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Some people will be ignorant but ignore them. I work in surgery and we have all done these surgeries so we know what's involved. But I made the decision after 10 years of thinking about it. You did it to be healthy, it's not a magic pill it is hard work.

1 guy at work had this done and now 4 more of us are having it.

You don't owe anyone anything. Just yourself :)

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Thanks everyone for your support. Today is day 13 after surgery and I had to go to a dinner meeting tonight. People were mostly glad that I am back. But one person who knew I had to have the surgery for the 2nd time because my 16 year surgery opened was the so horrible she actually said it was self inflected because I had the previous surgery. I just wanted to cry. I responded that she could say that about most people with many of problems like herself who have untreated medical illness.

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I agree it is a personal decision. A coworker had her surgery last August and just told everyone she was on a Protein diet under her doctors care. There was a lot of rumors. When she found out I was going through the program she talked with me. She said she hadn't wanted to hear the negative comments and also what if it didn't work for her? Well it certainly did and she's now lost over 100#. She is a great source of information for me. She is now telling people that ask how she lost the weight. I am a very open person but I did only tell family and close friends I was in the program. My boss new and was very supportive. I work in the healthcare field so you'd think it would be more acceptable but I find the green eyed monster can rear its ugly head in some coworkers. I opted to let my office staff know when my surgery date was scheduled and was surprised how many people supported my decision and said if anyone deserved it I did as they had seen me struggle and they have seen me continue to exercise and eat healthy. Of course there was the green eyed monster staff member that was oh poor me I wish it was me ..don't get crazy about it blah blah blah. I told her she could have it done also buy no alcohol for awhile which shut her right up lol. I have decided that I am only going to welcome positive people into my circle and if they are negative about the surgery I am going to let them know I will not tolerate that and to please not discuss it with me. I was also surprised how many people asked for information and one person has already signed up for the program! The more the better !

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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