WLS Cover-up Story

[sonya139 95]

I am hoping to keep my upcoming WLS a secret from most people. I hate lying but can't tolerate hearing everyone's opinion

Do you think it's believable to I'm having my gallbladder removed? Then when I start losing weight I was going to say I had some complications with the surgery.

I too am not telling many people for the same reason and other reasons...I'm private by nature but I plan on being truthful in that I have changed my eating and increased my exercise. Those things would be true. That probably wouldn't fly with Bypass surgery because the weight loss is so fast but with the Sleeve weight loss being so steady that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

I had to tell the ppl I work with. I'm a LPN so it'll effect my work. So far everyone has been encouraging. Of course I've never been one who cares about other ppl's opinions. But like I said everyone from my bosses to other staff is excited with me.

Not sure what you mean by it will effect your work so everyone needs to know? I'm a medic and not one person I work with there knows. Maybe I'm missing something?

[sonya139 95]

My thing is.... Why do you have to tell anyone anything? I am shocked at the audacity of people these days. Since when is "I have some health issues that need to be taken care of" not good enough? We shouldn't feel like we HAVE to tell anyone ANYTHING or feel like we have to make up a story because we don't want people to know the truth. I personally am ashamed that I let my weight get so out of control that I needed to resort to weight loss surgery. I didn't want anyone to know what I was doing. If people are so rude to keep asking or make you feel like you have to lie about what you are doing, call them out on it!! This is a very personal decision and is no one's business. Tell them you need to have a medical procedure and you aren't comfortable sharing any more information! Your boss doesn't even need to know more than that! That is why there are HIPPA laws, to protect us. I hate that I felt this way when I decided to have surgery & it makes me upset to hear of other people going through the same thing. Screw anyone that doesn't respect your privacy!! You are not obligated to tell anyone!!!

I totally agree.

[Nesa 51]

I don't think the paperwork can say exactly what your getting done because of HIPPA.

That's good to know. Thank you!!!

[ItsMe2033 143]

I guess maybe I just don't understand why there needs to be any "story" at all... Personally I have been happy to answer questions that people have had.

.....

For me to not own up to what I am doing and why I am doing it would be incredibly hard since I view this as the best decision I have made in my life about my health. I am not implying that anyone here isn't proud of what they are doing, but I would say don't be afraid to own it.

There are many ways to own this. The primary one is that it is your information to do with as you please. If you want to share that's great, but if you want to keep it private it doesn't imply that you are ashamed of it in any way.

Look, you plan many elements of our life. You plan your vacations, and your education and those of your children, and your retirement. To choose to tell someone or not tell someone is just another element of planning your life. If people are surrounded by positive people or in positive situations, sure why not tell. But if you are surrounded by negative people, or negative situations, or you just don't want the attention then the most rational course is to not tell.

Some people (not you) seem to think there is some obligation to tell. If you were having hemorrhoid surgery or a vasectomy would you feel that you had some kind of obligation to tell everyone you saw? It's your private information to do with as you want.

[da1stladie 63]

I too am not telling many people for the same reason and other reasons...I'm private by nature but I plan on being truthful in that I have changed my eating and increased my exercise. Those things would be true. That probably wouldn't fly with Bypass surgery because the weight loss is so fast but with the Sleeve weight loss being so steady that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Do what works for you :-)

[mage54 28]

Some people (not you) seem to think there is some obligation to tell. If you were having hemorrhoid surgery or a vasectomy would you feel that you had some kind of obligation to tell everyone you saw? It's your private information to do with as you want.

I agree that it does come down to the individual, I also agree that for any other procedure you aren't likely to be as candid. That being said there is a difference between not telling and making up stories that you want to sound like they are likely scenarios for what you are having done.

Secondly, how long will your relationships with anyone other than your significant other be impacted by hemorrhoid surgery or a vasectomy? My point is this, we as a culture tend to eat at social gatherings, there are going to be questions about why you do what you do when it comes to eating and drinking. The questions won't be meant to be offensive or rude they will just happen because they are different habits than what people are used to seeing. Many videos online talk about this (onelifetosleeve is the first one that comes to mind). He was questioned by a waitress who didn't even know him simply because he didn't want any drinks to be left on the table for him with his dinner.

If you make the story up once to tell a single co-worker or manager what is going on for whatever the reason and 8 months later you are out with a new coworker and slip up on some details you had given out before simply because the topic comes up in conversation, you would need to lie, the same lie, again and again.

I really hope this doesn't sound judgmental it is really not meant to be that way. I do think that each person needs to do what will work for them, but generally the truth is easier to remember and you don't have to worry about it potentially hurting your credibility in the long run.

[Lovechunks 18]

I plan to only tell other fat people who ask nicely;)

[ItsMe2033 143]

....

That being said there is a difference between not telling and making up stories that you want to sound like they are likely scenarios for what you are having done.

....

If you make the story up once to tell a single co-worker or manager what is going on for whatever the reason and 8 months later you are out with a new coworker and slip up on some details you had given out before simply because the topic comes up in conversation, you would need to lie, the same lie, again and again.

I think if you make up a cover story that you should fully commit to it. That's what you tell everyone except for those close to you. In my case I accounted for my few days of from work by saying I had to do some things around the house [true]. For the few people that have noticed that I have lost weight, I have told them that I've been drinking a lot of Protein shakes and just eating small meals, something like the slimfast diet plan [also true]. All I have done is omit things. It means that later if I decide to tell people about it, I haven't told a lie, I have just omitted, so it's less of a social transgression that has to be overcome. Some people don't have that luxury of protecting their privacy and making only true statements, and they have a right to their privacy. In that case, I do think it is important to pick whatever cover story they want and stick with it.

One of the most important things you can do if you take this approach is to not draw attention to yourself. Don't tell people you've lost 100 pounds. Lead them to believe that it's much less. I haven't watched the video you mentioned about the glass of Water, but the easy way to avoid problems is to not call attention to yourself. Since I've had the surgery, when I'm at a restaurant, I always order a glass of Water, and a to go box when I order the food. I just don't drink any of the water. And by getting the to go box ahead of time, the waitress probably won't even know how much food you ate, but if they do, they won't be suprprised that you didn't eat much. Also, ordering an appetizer instead of a meal will draw much less attention from the people with you when you don't eat much food. If you want to keep the surgery under the radar, avoid drawing attention to yourself at every opportunity.

[taylokat 180]

I think if you make up a cover story that you should fully commit to it. That's what you tell everyone except for those close to you. In my case I accounted for my few days of from work by saying I had to do some things around the house [true]. For the few people that have noticed that I have lost weight' date=' I have told them that I've been drinking a lot of Protein Shakes and just eating small meals, something like the slimfast diet plan [also true']. All I have done is omit things. It means that later if I decide to tell people about it, I haven't told a lie, I have just omitted, so it's less of a social transgression that has to be overcome. Some people don't have that luxury of protecting their privacy and making only true statements, and they have a right to their privacy. In that case, I do think it is important to pick whatever cover story they want and stick with it. One of the most important things you can do if you take this approach is to not draw attention to yourself. Don't tell people you've lost 100 pounds. Lead them to believe that it's much less. I haven't watched the video you mentioned about the glass of Water, but the easy way to avoid problems is to not call attention to yourself. Since I've had the surgery, when I'm at a restaurant, I always order a glass of water, and a to go box when I order the food. I just don't drink any of the water. And by getting the to go box ahead of time, the waitress probably won't even know how much food you ate, but if they do, they won't be suprprised that you didn't eat much. Also, ordering an appetizer instead of a meal will draw much less attention from the people with you when you don't eat much food. If you want to keep the surgery under the radar, avoid drawing attention to yourself at every opportunity.

That's exactly what I do. I've never been questioned on a restaurant. I had my surgery in April and I've lost 65 pounds. I tell people I started around Thanksgiving time and I've lost about 50 pounds.

[petunia flower 11]

I am totally with you on hiding it!!! I did tell a few but others will be told something diff. You see I have been with the co for 28 years and everyone knows me. They have seen me loose and gain weight all these years. I know there are some judgmental folks in the crowd and would just be waiting and expecting me to fail. I have had gastritis badly about 2 mths ago and most think I have intestinal issues. That's my cover for now. When I am ready they will know the real truth. Good luck and do what you have to which will get you through surgery without stress. Good luck!!!

[PGee 318]

I'm one of those keeping it to myself.....it's none of their business--I saw how unsupportive and down right unkind some folks were to my sister....some are still making remarks........I just didn't want to deal with it.

BUT I would not tell people you're having your gallbladder out...........there are some patients who need gallbladder surgery after weight loss surgery, then what do you say?

I took vacation time for surgery, so I didn't have to explain myself to my employer (it's a small office).

[Andrew0929 1,102]

I'm one of those keeping it to myself.....it's none of their business--I saw how unsupportive and down right unkind some folks were to my sister....some are still making remarks........I just didn't want to deal with it.

BUT I would not tell people you're having your gallbladder out...........there are some patients who need gallbladder surgery after weight loss surgery' date=' then what do you say?

I took vacation time for surgery, so I didn't have to explain myself to my employer (it's a small office).[/quote']

I think I'm going with hernia surgery as my excuse now, due to possibility of really needing gallbladder surgery at some point

[Trebor 4]

If telling people you're gay is "coming out of the closet", what's the equivalent to telling

people you had WLS? "Coming out of the refrigerator."

That said, I really didn't care if people knew I'm having WLS. However, recently I've told a few

people and now regret it due to their reactions. For now on I'll go with the "galbladder" story.

[caligirl3 73]

I told people that NEEDED to know that I was having surgery for whatever reason that it was for "girly" things (truth--I'm a girl). I tell them I am doing a medically supervised high protein/low carb diet (truth), exercising a lot more (truth), I am measuring/logging everything I eat (truth), and that I cut out a lot of the bad stuff (truth-- my tummy!). I tell the truth about how much I've lost, too.

All that long drawn out subterfuge would make my head spin and quite possibly explode. When someone asks me a personal question that I don't want to answer, or one that is rude, I simply smile as if they are an idiot and respond with, "Now why in the world would you ask someone that?". Shuts 'em up every time.

This... All of it! I'm definitely saying all of this. Love it!