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Im having a hard time. Need some encouragement



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I feel like I'm having a hard time transitioning from my addiction to food no food. I feel left out of a lot of situations where people are having dinner. I feel like I've made a mistake. I feel like my coping skills have been taken away. I know it's only been a couple weeks but I'm having a really hard time. I'm just hoping that I made the right decision too late now.i cry a lot and I just need to know that I won't feel like this forever.....

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:(

Sorry you're so sad right now. The first month was definitely the hardest! I spent days just crying, no not because of the physical pain from surgery but depression. You are going through one of the hardest transitions of your life and the thing you are transitioning away from? Your comfort, you're companion, your coping mechanism...

food.

It gets better I promise. Just know that what your going through is a normal mourning process.

And you will come out the other side a happier healthier person :)

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I decided to see a psychologist that specializes in eating preop and post op. I know I will have to depart with one of my best friends, food . I am Ia binge eater and always look forward to my next meal. Sweets is my addition.. I never overest on healthy foods., just sweets.. However sweets are high in fat and carbs.. So here I am having the sleeve in November. I want someone to help me to handle the emotional ups and downs. While I change my lifestyle". I also am anxious on how I will handle eating out with family and friends..ii choose not to divulge that I am having gastric sleeve surgery. I will need help to handle social situations, etc, etc.

I had my first appt with my psych yesterday and am excited explore my food addiction.

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Try not to feel bad. You are gonna look so awesome and be a more healthier you. Look at this as such an accomplishment. As far as hanging out with people with food this is one of the reasons why we are in this position now. We as a culture normally engage in food when everyone is together. Get in the mode of restructuring yourself. This phase of going from liquid to soft foods is hard. But you can do it. If you have to disassociate yourself from the crowd right now its ok. This is something you are trying to do for you. You can do it but its gonna take discipline. There should be a list of support groups including this forum that you can contact for support. In due time you will be able to eat with your friends while making better food choices so that you can stay healthy and looking awesome. Just keep going and try your best to make this thing work. This forum is here for you. You can do this. God bless

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I feel like I'm having a hard time transitioning from my addiction to food no food. I feel left out of a lot of situations where people are having dinner. I feel like I've made a mistake. I feel like my coping skills have been taken away. I know it's only been a couple weeks but I'm having a really hard time. I'm just hoping that I made the right decision too late now.i cry a lot and I just need to know that I won't feel like this forever.....

Aww babe, I'm so sorry to read this...and I understand completely! I felt the same way, actually still so at times. It is the hardest "diet" I've ever done...it plays with your mind...or mine at least. When I'm "starving" and I can only eat 3-5 bites it's so frustrating. BUT...it gets better, I don't feel as bad as I did at first. Just try not to dwell on the sad/bad and enjoy it when your clothes get looser and the numbers on the scale moves down. Good luck:)

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Don't forget hormones that have been flooding your brain for years are gone. I believe the post op is difficult because of that. Our bodies are going through a ton. This in addition to the physical and emotional....it's tough!

There are days I intentionally go out with friends to eat to feel some sense of normalcy. Everyone has been so supportive of "where can we go that you can eat?" I've only done this three times or so on the last two weeks since sleevage, but it's felt so good. Sunday I ordered cottage cheese and a potato (skinned it and didn't use any toppings). It felt good to eat with the others at my table. Granted I only ate 1/3 cup of each one, but it was wonderful. Not to mention how good it felt to take home all the leftovers and I only spent $6 at a restaurant. :)

Spend the time healing. Don't beat yourself up for the natural emotions you are experiencing. And it does get better. ;)

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Don't forget hormones that have been flooding your brain for years are gone. I believe the post op is difficult because of that. Our bodies are going through a ton. This in addition to the physical and emotional....it's tough!

To add to the hormone thing -- you're only a little over a week out from a major surgery. Your body is recovering and your hormones are out of whack because of it. Think of it as PMS on overdrive. Be kind to yourself, and know that this will pass. Many, MANY of new sleevers experience the "buyer's remorse" phase. Just ride it out -- you WILL feel better!

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:(

Sorry your so sad right now. The first month was definitely the hardest! I spent days just crying, no not because of the physical pain from surgery but depression. You are going through one of the hardest transitions of your life and the thing you are transitioning away from? Your comfort, you're companion, your coping mechanism...

food.

It gets better I promise. Just know that what your going through is a normal mourning process.

And you will come out the other side a happier healthier person :)

There is going to come a time when you are fighting to eat properly and stay within portion sizes..If it is not one thing it is another..It is a growing experience...a learning experience and only taken on by the strong of heart..You have done the hardest part..you had the surgery...You must find other things to fill the space that food took to help you deal....You did this for a reason....remember that and remind yourself why? I cried a lot when I got done....i spent 5 months in the hospital with complications with the sleeve....i cannot even tell you how dark and lonely it was for me...

Now....I am on the other side of it and well on my way to my new life..and enjoying every second of it....what brings us to the point of WLS is that we feel we have no where else to go...And even though the transition period is difficult..It will get easier....You are going to be so proud of yourself when you start to see you have control over food the thing that controlled you......There are so many positive things...Start a list of the small changes and see how fast they add up... :)

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Make a list of other things you can do besides eat and then do some of them. Go for a walk. Think of family activities that don't revolve around food, like taking a walk together or going for a swim. Get your hair and nails done. Drink something. Pray. Believe me, this will pass.

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I feel like I'm having a hard time transitioning from my addiction to food no food. I feel left out of a lot of situations where people are having dinner. I feel like I've made a mistake. I feel like my coping skills have been taken away. I know it's only been a couple weeks but I'm having a really hard time. I'm just hoping that I made the right decision too late now.i cry a lot and I just need to know that I won't feel like this forever.....

Hey there! We were sleeved on the same day!!! I honestly could have written your post. I'm feeling the same way. It's pretty sad but I know things will get better. I have a family function this weekend and I feel like an outcast. Same with friends and work people. It's like I don't fit in anymore because everything seems to revolve around food. Like I said, I know it will get better for me and for you too!!! It's just gone take some time! :)

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Thank you all so much. I'd be lost without this forum. Keep the advice coming.... It's helping.

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I was sleeved on the 23rd. Moved up from the 30 th. Not sure if my profile still says the 30th

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I'm 13 days out and I feel exactly the same as you. This is tough.. We're just going to hang on in there until we reach our own 'nirvana's'. We can do it. We're made of stronger stuff ;) x

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I'm really glad you posted this. I am 4 months out and I feel the same way. I miss food. I can eat whatever I want, but just a little bit of it. I am struggling with what to do.

I have learned that before I had the surgery, I basically did activities so I could have the food. Movies = popcorn, coke, and candy. Ball games = tailgating. Vacations & cruises = visiting favorite restaurants without restriction (I was on vacation after all). Not to mention going out to eat with family and friends. You name it and I had lots of food associated with it. Now I have to learn how to enjoy those things without the food. It's a really tough paradigm shift.

I'm a city girl and I don't like outdoor activities. I don't find any happiness in exercise.

I have lost 63 pounds and I am truly grateful for this surgery, but I am struggling with this part of it.

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Y'all are making me sad:(

I guess what I do is think about the reasons WHY I opted for VSG and it kinda keeps me in check...I'm a southern gal from Louisiana and trust me, we LOVE our food down here!! It's been tough BUT...I'm already down my pre-diabetic med and hopefully my BP med is next. I DO have those times that y'all are talking about too, but you just gotta think on the GOOD things we will get outta this...VST has been my lifeline since surgery...I think we are all here with the same purpose - to help one another, learn new things about VSG, and talk to other people who understand what we are going through, etc...

I hope alla my ramblings will help at least someone. Good luck to you all:)

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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