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Divorce Post Op?



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I'm 6 months post op and my husband has decided that he wants to file for divorce. I've read that the statistics of this happening were pretty high before I had surgery, but never imagined I would fall into being a statistic. There has been no solid "reason" for his request for this, all I have been told is that he is no longer in love with me and hasn't been for a while. This news was broken to me a couple of weeks ago. I am down from 233lbs to 147lbs, size 20 to a size 10. I thought my journey through my weight loss would be something so magical and so memorable, yet, it's been completely overshadowed by another life changing event. Talk about a new life... I will be starting completely over now. New body... New mental/emotional outlook... Has anyone else been down this road???

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You keep your head held high.... I know how you feel i have been there. You did this surgery for you only, Losing weight can never make a man want to stay once its gone its gone, I had lost 70 pounds 12 years ago and mine told me the same ,I did my crying and feeling sorry for myself it took me a good few months, But now i will never look back ever , The grass is not always greener on the other side his loss, Be strong and keep up your great .... My sleeve is for sept 10th and i just jumping for joy :)

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You keep your head held high.... I know how you feel i have been there. You did this surgery for you only' date=' Losing weight can never make a man want to stay once its gone its gone, I had lost 70 pounds 12 years ago and mine told me the same ,I did my crying and feeling sorry for myself it took me a good few months, But now i will never look back ever , The grass is not always greener on the other side his loss, Be strong and keep up your great .... My sleeve is for sept 10th and i just jumping for joy <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />[/quote']

Thank you sooooo very much! I needed to hear that. I appreciate the support and GOOD LUCK!!!!

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Going through the same thing, just long term relationship and not marriage.

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Going through the same thing' date=' just long term relationship and not marriage.[/quote']

I'm sorry to hear that delta.. I understand that this can be a trying time and I wish you well.

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Going through the same thing' date=' just long term relationship and not marriage.[/quote']

Delta there is no difference... Love is love... Whether there is a piece of paper that makes it "official" or not, does not change the amount of emotions and hurt that come from a departure.

Know that you aren't alone in this though... :)

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I was sleeved on July 8th. My husband filed for divorce and it will be final this week. Just remember that you did this for you!

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Hello,

I am single, but your story touched me. I can't imagine working towards this goal, with your partner by your side and then BOOM. I don't know how that would feel, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I hope you are able to rise from this stronger, and with an outlook of taking care of yourself first. Best wishes to you, I hope you again find happiness.

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Hello' date='

I am single, but your story touched me. I can't imagine working towards this goal, with your partner by your side and then BOOM. I don't know how that would feel, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I hope you are able to rise from this stronger, and with an outlook of taking care of yourself first. Best wishes to you, I hope you again find happiness.[/quote']

Thank you. It has definitely been harder than I could have ever expected... I'm sure someday when I'm able to look back on this there will be reasons for it all.

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I hope when you look back, it will be because you want to remember the time your life really changed for the better - and that the reasons won't matter any more :-)

Hold your head up, it's not easy now but it does get better. My ex husband and I split 3 years ago after 30 years. Last Sept, we got back together secretly to see if we could make it work but he suddenly dumped me the month before my surgery in March this year, no explanation. Or reasons.

So I went through surgery alone but I haven't looked back. I realised the strength I have and have been so grateful for my friends, who have stood by me through it all. Good luck to you, you are not alone... There are a few of us on the road with you x

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I hope when you look back' date=' it will be because you want to remember the time your life really changed for the better - and that the reasons won't matter any more :-)

Hold your head up, it's not easy now but it does get better. My ex husband and I split 3 years ago after 30 years. Last Sept, we got back together secretly to see if we could make it work but he suddenly dumped me the month before my surgery in March this year, no explanation. Or reasons.

So I went through surgery alone but I haven't looked back. I realised the strength I have and have been so grateful for my friends, who have stood by me through it all. Good luck to you, you are not alone... There are a few of us on the road with you x

[/quote']

Wow!!! I'm so sorry! But good for you for making it through all of that and holding your own! Stories like that give me hope!!! ;)

Thank you!

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There is definitely hope! I had my first date in 33 years six weeks ago and survived - everything is possible, lol!

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There is definitely hope! I had my first date in 33 years six weeks ago and survived - everything is possible' date=' lol![/quote']

Ha! That totally brought a smile to my face. I look forward to those days. Thank you again for your words of encouragement.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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