I live with The Food ****!

[M2G 1,836]

Well my husband and I are both sleeved, but honestly we can't have a relationship where we are each keeping one eye on our plate and one eye on each other's plate. We will joke about it sometimes (as one of us is popping up some popcorn about "hey watcha eating over there" but it's all in good fun.)

I'm happy your husband has lost the weight and that is great that he supports you but you need to tell him to back off (maybe not as directly as Lipstick...lol) but you do need to let him know that this is YOUR journey and that you need to not have him always keeping tabs on you. Good luck, it's hard for some leopards to change their spots...

[marfar7 1,528]

Thanks for all the input ladies (and gentlemen). I appreciate every single word. I've gone thru the carbs bashing since I've known him (almost 3 yrs) but he's taken it to a new level since I've been sleeved. The funny thing is is that once every 10-14 days, he'll have a "gorge" day and eat whatever he wants (pizza, a whole 1/2 gallon of ice cream - never seen anyone do this before but he really eats the whole thing - whatever he wants) and then goes back to counting every single carb that goes into his mouth.

I did the Atkins induction for 4 weeks in Feb (after gaining 30 lbs following my lapband slip) and I was miserable. I would've killed my mom for a cookie. I didn't cheat once. The only thing sweet I ate was sf Jello. I was so happy to be thru the first 2 weeks and able to add almonds. It just doesn't seem normal to me. I used to count calories (which doesn't work for him cuz he definitely is a volume eater) so I know the calorie content in everything. It's why I got the lapband almost 4 yrs ago, so I wouldn't have to count anything ever again. And I did well with that plan, losing 104 lbs. Now that I've started over with the sleeve 30 lbs heavier, I've only lost 17 lbs in the last 7 weeks. I know it's gunna come off slower since I started at 174, but this is ridiculous.

Maybe I will give counting carbs a try. But not with the Atkins induction diet. Thats too drastic for me. Southbeach is more my speed. At least they allow fruit and PB. I've got 26 lbs left to goal and what I'm doing isn't working (I've bounced between 156-158 for the last 2 weeks) and I've heard the last 20 are the hardest to lose. Great. Just great.

Thanks for all ur input!

[supbanana 153]

The diet your husband is following sounds like the ketogenic diet (high fat, moderate Protein, very low carb). It's not necessarily Atkins, though the difference is slim. I'm a little surprised that he thinks he can't have more than 10g carbs/day, as the general rule is no more than 25, though many people maintain a ketogenic state up to 50 or even 100g carbs/day. You're either in ketosis or you're not, no matter if you're eating 10 or 25 carbs.

I was on a ketogenic diet for 16 months prior to surgery. The health benefits are absolutely amazing, which is why I stuck with it despite not losing any weight at all for the last year. Men seem to have better consistent success with it, but it does seem to work well for a lot of people. Even though I wasn't losing weight, my cholesterol went from way whacky to textbook perfect, my acne disappeared, my "IBS" disappeared, inflammation disappeared, etc. I plan on going right back on Keto after I'm able to eat solid foods again.

Anywho, that aside, can you ask him to back off? Eating such a low carb diet is hard for a lot of people, and despite the health benefits it's simply not practical for a lot of people. It requires a lot of research and dedication and it's a diet that a person has to choose to follow. If someone is forced into it, they'll be miserable and hate it. Plenty of people have lost weight and maintained that loss eating a higher carb diet. Nutrition is not one size fits all, not by any means. Everyone has to find their own way in terms of a diet that is sustainable for a lifetime.

[Nicolanz 1,484]

My mother was a food **** too. That's a big part of my obesity. That kind of support is more destructive than helpful. Just let him know how proud of him you are for his journey, but your journey is yours and yours alone. You don't need someone making snide remarks about your eating. It only causes shame and guilt.

Edited September 3, 2013 by *susan*
Removed offensive word.

[need2bthin! 235]

Just tell him "you know what, I got this! Thank you for your useless input Now you can go eat a bagel!"

I agree its better to be civil BUT Sometimes you have to put your big girl panties on and stand your ground!! ????

[delta_girl 931]

I got a black eye for using the "N" word. Arbritary,capricious. Decide how to moderate and be consistent, please.

[need2bthin! 235]

I got a black eye for using the "N" word. Arbritary' date='capricious. Decide how to moderate and be consistent, please.[/quote']

I hope your joking about the black eye for using the word ****.

Edited September 3, 2013 by *susan*
Removed offensive word.

[delta_girl 931]

I hope your joking about the black eye for using the word ****.

No. My post was edited in another thread.

Edited September 3, 2013 by *susan*
Removed offensive word.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I live with one, too - my 17 year old daughter, lol! She didn't want me to have the surgery because she thought it was too dangerous, and now she makes sure she watches and moderates everything I eat. She keeps telling me "you went through all that, I'm not going to let you have done it for nothing". I think it's a little funny, and it doesn't bother me. I know she does it because she is worried about me, and want to see me succeed. Sometimes, it actually does help me because it deters me from eating something I shouldn't, then later, I'm grateful she intervened. She is one tough boss, though

[zenandnow 514]

No. My post was edited in another thread.

You didn't just use that word, you CALLED some of the people on this forum that word. Big difference.

[ElyQuint 446]

My man is a nag in so many ways. My advice, get naked. He cant focus on your plate if your naked. Science is on your side.

[CantHateYourselfThin 29]

Low carb and which "diet" is best is NOT the issue you have here.

The real issue is that you have taught your husband that this is ok to talk to you this way. Not knowing you or your husband, and having no idea what his internal motivation is (whether he feels he is helping or is being passive agressive or abusive)... the issue is that he keeps doing it.

We teach people how to treat us.

Time to teach him a new way.

[Mrs.FullerRN 189]

Hmm. Does he know Ketosis is EXTREMELY hard on your kidneys? Those Ketosis strips you pee on are not meant to tell you if you're losing weight. They're made for kidney patients and diabetics. He is doing catostrophic damage to his kidneys by staying in Ketosis long term.

[supbanana 153]

Hmm. Does he know Ketosis is EXTREMELY hard on your kidneys? Those Ketosis strips you pee on are not meant to tell you if you're losing weight. They're made for kidney patients and diabetics. He is doing catostrophic damage to his kidneys by staying in Ketosis long term.

With all due respect, this isn't necessarily true.

http://www.tren.net/HEALTH_SPOTLIGHT/KetosisCAMB.pdf

"Surprise #7 — Protein and ketones are NOT “hard” on the kidneys

and liver. Most of the nitrogen from the Protein is converted to urea in

the liver and excreted by the kidneys (a normal process), and the carbons

are oxidized to carbon dioxide and Water. The ketones are used as

primary fuel by the kidneys, skeletal muscles, and heart.

Surprise #8 — Carbohydrates, not protein, are hard on the kidneys.

High blood glucose levels place excessive stress on the kidneys. That

is why diabetes is the single greatest cause of kidney failure in the U.S. "

I've been on a ketogenic diet for well over a year and have done extensive research into it, as have many of thousands of other people following the diet. Not one has posted having kidney problems. We see a lot of improvement to cholesterol, weight loss, reduced inflammation and other benefits. In fact, most of of us that have had WLS follow a more high-protein, low-carb diet, which means that the majority of us are going to be in a ketogenic state (ketosis being a harmless dietary state, not to be confused with ketoacidosis, a serious medical concern). Of course a ketogenic diet is not right for everybody, and I'm sure someone out there has had problems with the diet (a friend of mine had a bad attack of gout, for instance). As I mentioned before, nutrition is not one size fits all, but there are a lot of misconceptions associated with the ketogenic diet. These misconceptions can be harmful in the long run as they prevent people that could use the diet the most (namely, Diabetics, people with insulin resistance, etc.) from trying it out.