Honest Opinion time!

[Beach Lover 1,084]

I have a friend that I am ready to walk away from after 9 years of friendship. We always ate lunch together at work. Then we invited a new employee to eat with us. This person has insidiously and passively aggressively done things over several years to take over our friendship and push me out. There have been so many hurt feelings that I have tucked away thinking I was paranoid until another employee pointed out everything I had been thinking. The sad part is my girlfriend is totally blind to her behavior and despite proving some of her behavior to my friend she turns a blind eye to it. After being off for the whole summer and returning 41 pounds lighter neither one of them even acknowledged my weight loss. Only after someone complimented me in front of her did she act surprised that I had lost weight. So I guess I am so frickin invisible now she doesn't even notice anything anymore. Today I am at the gym and she starts talking to me and asking what I did to lose the weight. I told her wls and she was happy for me but only said "You can really see it in your face" and you could tell she didn't want to say another word. This pissed me off and I just looked at her and said Thank you I have lost almost 40 inches and went from a 22/24 to an 18. Waited a few seconds and said okay I got to go and left. If that was bitchy of me OH WELL!!! I just feel like this friendship has gone toxic as is and I need to distance myself from her. Am I nuts or is this a good decision?

[vegasneon 181]

Good decision.

[SDH 87]

Good decision...friends like that only bring people down and you don't need that, especially now! Congratulations on the 42 pounds that you have lost!!!

[2btrim 129]

Good decision, but try your best to take the high road and rise above it. You can chose to forgive someone, and it is a good thing, but you don't have to put yourself in the company of people who are only going to make you feel bad. Its times like this you learn who your true friends are. If you find one or two people in this world besides your parents or family, who will be there for you and never let you down, count yourself blessed.

[smryan 17]

Good decision, as hard as it may be. With friends like her, who needs enemies? Your TRUE friends are there for you, cheering you on every inch and pound you lose. Sounds like she could just be jealous, too. Move on. And CONGRATS on how far you've come!! Keep it up!

[Jeanie S 84]

You deserve better then that. Sounds like she wasn't a true friend to begin with. Cut your losses hon and move on to some real friends.

[Beach Lover 1,084]

Good decision, but try your best to take the high road and rise above it. You can chose to forgive someone, and it is a good thing, but you don't have to put yourself in the company of people who are only going to make you feel bad. Its times like this you learn who your true friends are. If you find one or two people in this world besides your parents or family, who will be there for you and never let you down, count yourself blessed.

Truth is that is how I live my life and as much as I would have liked to sound bitchy to her it wasn't. I have kept the friendship this long because I was taking the high road and and this point it just feels like it is to much work. I will always be nice to her but she has lost a good friend.

[2btrim 129]

Maybe the friendships not totally dead. Maybe its just asleep right now. Who knows, she may yet wake up to seek friendship and forgiveness and that will be up to you. After all you guys have been friends for a very long time and I'm sure there are a lot of good memories. But if she does come around, tell her just exactly how you feel and how much she has hurt you. I believe in second chances, but you have to do what feels right for you.

[ScottsGirl 106]

Jealous of your accomplishment! Give it time, see what develops; just go about your life - one day at a time.

[barbmeow 92]

If your friends are really not helpful,or good, why keep them?Remember this journey is about you, You have lost 40 pounds, they don't care.You give yourself the kudos. They are incapable of it for what ever reason. I found out a long time ago, if friends are not respectful of our relationship, it isn't worth it. As a woman with a new body you will feel differently about yourself and will find other friends who enhance your relationships, not tear them down. Congratulations on your 40 pound weight loss. Now go lose (,how much do your friends weigh) that many pounds more this week.

[Daydra 345]

FIrst: Congratulations!

Second: I have never seen any reason to invest time and effort to maintain a relationship that doesn't give you what you need. Life is far too short and we have far more important and rewarding things to spend our time and energy on. In your position, I think that I would step way back, at least for now. I think that you are right to continue to treat her with respect. Perhaps someday, she will realize what has happened and acknowledge it. At that time, you may or may not feel that rekindling the friendship is worth it.

Best of luck. I'm sorry that this friend has not turned out to be such a good friend after all.

[belladona 153]

Good decision, shes jealous totally and right now you dont need that. I dont even think I would have given her the satisfaction to tell her I had wls. Your right its her loss but I feel she may realize how inconsiderate she has been, and maybe for you it will be too late, time will tell. Congrats on your loss!!

[BayshoreBuddy 58]

Congratulations!

[BayshoreBuddy 58]

This reminds me of that old saying; "with friends like these, who needs enemies?" Life is too short to waste on toxic people when there are so many considerate people you haven't met yet.

[Beach Lover 1,084]

It's funny at this point I am totally good with walking away. She won't even know I have checked out. In a weird way I get some satisfaction looking at her and thinking you don't affect me any more. I am finding a stronger more assertive me and I have all the capabilities of finishing this journey and learning who my true friends are. You see the ones who get excited for me and have no reservation about my weight loss are worth time and friendship. I will nurture those friendships and be forever grateful for the happiness they have for me. A true friend should never feel threatened by who or what you have but just enjoy who you are. My sleeve is showing me a whole new circle of friends and I am grateful!