Does anything know about death in Mexico.

[NoneYa 380]

This will not be the popular opinion, but its mine and I'm stating it anyway. First, I didn't know Rox. My sincere condolences go out to all of those that knew and loved her. I am truly sorry for your loss.

Just like all of you I don't know the true facts of the case. Like you I wasn't there. All of us can only form opinions based on the stories we read and which ones we choose to believe. It seems that some of you were told a story by someone you trust to have the facts. If the story on this as its detailed above is true this scenario is not on the list of risks we consider and decide to take on prior to opting for surgery. To say that it is is really absurd and I think disrespecful to the victim and her family. I say victim because if she stated she was ill and returned for help and was blown off for a few days because a trip ( or anything else) was more important that is what she was made to be. She took the risk that she might have a leak. We all took that risk. She did not knowingly take the risk that the surgeon would disregard her health and safety once the surgery was completed. She rightly assumed she would be cared for to the best of his ability. To take a trip and come back a few days later before acting cost Rox her life. Thats not OK and thats not what she signed on for. She had the right to expect 100% care and attention from start to finish. She was a member of this forum family and deserves so much more from us than to have her memory shrouded with whispers and blame regarding hiding prior conditions to get what she wanted. That is just so wrong!

Another thought. I get that many of you used this Dr and are very fond of him. You can't believe he would be capable of behaving incompetently. With you he was nothing short of amazing. Thats wonderful, thats how we should all feel about our surgeons. The problem is one I learned many years ago. People only know the YOU that you present to them.

For example. I was married for 17 years to an extremely abusive man. He was abusive in every sense of the word. Out of fear and embarrassment I told no one for 17 years. In the meantime he presented himself to the rest of the world as the best guy in the world. The "give you the shirt off his back" type guy. Always the first to lend a hand and the life of the party. That was the truth to every single person that knew him, except for me. When I finally left and filed for divorce they were all blown away, none more than my family members. They all dearly loved him and couldn't believe he was who I now told them he was. I guess I'm saying that you can only judge your interaction with another person. Because someone else has a different one does not mean theirs isn't true also. It just means they had a different experience and were possibly presented with a different side of the surgeon than you were. Rox and her story should be treated the same way you would want your truth treated. She deserves that.

[BellaItaliana 57]

This will not be the popular opinion, but its mine and I'm stating it anyway. First, I didn't know Rox. My sincere condolences go out to all of those that knew and loved her. I am truly sorry for your loss.

Just like all of you I don't know the true facts of the case. Like you I wasn't there. All of us can only form opinions based on the stories we read and which ones we choose to believe. It seems that some of you were told a story by someone you trust to have the facts. If the story on this as its detailed above is true this scenario is not on the list of risks we consider and decide to take on prior to opting for surgery. To say that it is is really absurd and I think disrespecful to the victim and her family. I say victim because if she stated she was ill and returned for help and was blown off for a few days because a trip ( or anything else) was more important that is what she was made to be. She took the risk that she might have a leak. We all took that risk. She did not knowingly take the risk that the surgeon would disregard her health and safety once the surgery was completed. She rightly assumed she would be cared for to the best of his ability. To take a trip and come back a few days later before acting cost Rox her life. Thats not OK and thats not what she signed on for. She had the right to expect 100% care and attention from start to finish. She was a member of this forum family and deserves so much more from us than to have her memory shrouded with whispers and blame regarding hiding prior conditions to get what she wanted. That is just so wrong!

Another thought. I get that many of you used this Dr and are very fond of him. You can't believe he would be capable of behaving incompetently. With you he was nothing short of amazing. Thats wonderful, thats how we should all feel about our surgeons. The problem is one I learned many years ago. People only know the YOU that you present to them.

For example. I was married for 17 years to an extremely abusive man. He was abusive in every sense of the word. Out of fear and embarrassment I told no one for 17 years. In the meantime he presented himself to the rest of the world as the best guy in the world. The "give you the shirt off his back" type guy. Always the first to lend a hand and the life of the party. That was the truth to every single person that knew him, except for me. When I finally left and filed for divorce they were all blown away, none more than my family members. They all dearly loved him and couldn't believe he was who I now told them he was. I guess I'm saying that you can only judge your interaction with another person. Because someone else has a different one does not mean theirs isn't true also. It just means they had a different experience and were possibly presented with a different side of the surgeon than you were. Rox and her story should be treated the same way you would want your truth treated. She deserves that.

I agree with everything you said, however I'm not totally convinced what we are hearing is the true story. As you said, there are many stories floating around from "dependable" sources, with no other information but that. There is also the added layer of coordinators in Mexico that start rumors or twist stories just enough to make rival doctors look bad. You're right.... my personal opinion and experience with Aceves is nothing short of excellent. There are many small details in the various stories that we are placing huge judgement on, and none of us on this board knows the real truth. In my opinion, we stop now. If there really was true negligence by Aceves and his staff, it's up to the family to bring that out legally. Anything else is not our business to speculate at this point, anymore.

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,145]

I agree with everything you said' date=' however I'm not totally convinced what we are hearing is the true story. As you said, there are many stories floating around from "dependable" sources, with no other information but that. There is also the added layer of coordinators in Mexico that start rumors or twist stories just enough to make rival doctors look bad. You're right.... my personal opinion and experience with Aceves is nothing short of excellent. There are many small details in the various stories that we are placing huge judgement on, and none of us on this board knows the real truth. In my opinion, we stop now. If there really was true negligence by Aceves and his staff, it's up to the family to bring that out legally. Anything else is not our business to speculate at this point, anymore.[/quote']

Very well said. The facts are few but firm. The speculation, rumor, intrigue, and hearsay are vague and plentiful. With respect to Rox, Rox's family, and a surgical team that should be presumed competent and ethical until factually proven otherwise let's not stir the pot. Things escalate so easily and to a scary level so fast (see Dr. Luna threads). Let's not duplicate this.

To the loved ones of Rox, you have my deepest sympathies and are in my thoughts and prayers.

[NoneYa 380]

I very clearly stated that I do not know the facts just as you don't know them. I clearly said IF the story as told is true........The difference is that I do not know or have an emotional bond or some kind of loyalty to the surgeon in question and I don't automatically assign the seat next to God to all Drs simply because they are mine. My opinion had nothing to do with intrigue or pot-stirring and frankly I resent your assertion otherwise. My opinion stands.

[lsereno 2,525]

The Doctors name is Dr. Aceves. Again' date=' I heard this from a credible person but have no substantiated this myself.[/quote']

That's the doctors name on Rox's profile.

Lynda

[NoneYa 380]

Actually because I do have respect for Rox and her family and friends I will not post on this thread again. I certainly don't have a problem arguing if someone wants to message me privately to bash me for my opinion but I will not do it publicly out of respect for them. Again, my sincere condolences to the family.

[4MEL21 77]

Laura-ven is right. I spoke with the doctor's office directly' date=' right after it happened. She had a heart condition and didn't disclose it to the doctor, knowing she'd be turned down again. It's tragic, but was not a complication that most of us would face. Her situation was very different.[/quote']

The doctor actually gave you medical information on another patient? Really?? That right there would be a reason I wouldn't use that doctor. Unless you're close family I guess.

[Jesser 295]

Are we for certain she went to Dr. Aceves? Because I read this in her past posts??

[No game 14,436]

For gods sake stop!

She's dead!

The fact of the matter is the doctor is saying one thing and the family is saying quite another..

Those are the facts as we know them.

The family spokes person asked me to print the truth here.... But there are two very different "truths".. That's where we are at.

Jesser,

Yes originally she was going with an other surgeon, but the family and the doctor have two different stories as to why she switched too.

[No game 14,436]

The doctor actually gave you medical information on another patient? Really?? That right there would be a reason I wouldn't use that doctor. Unless you're close family I guess.

This is the difference with surgery in the states and in Mexico.

In the states this would all be documented. Investigated by both the hospital and the state.

[2btrim 129]

This is the difference with surgery in the states and in Mexico.

In the states this would all be documented. Investigated by both the hospital and the state.

I agree with this, but only to a certain degree. Ya gotta know that Dr's here in the US cover each others butts all the time. I'm a victim of that, so frustrating I tell you.

[No game 14,436]

I agree with this' date=' but only to a certain degree. Ya gotta know that Dr's here in the US cover each others butts all the time. I'm a victim of that, so frustrating I tell you.[/quote']

That's a hard one to debate. Because I don't know what was done to you.. But I will say doctors are human so I can see what your saying.

My only "experience" with this is how death is dealt with in my husbands hospital, in the ER anyway. Everything that happens during the care of a patient is documented. And available to the family. And the death of a patient is reviewed by the hospital and the state. If that death is caused by a complication? It is discussed in a monthly physician meeting among peers. A peer review in other words.

[2btrim 129]

I think it also depends on who and where your surgery takes place. I will share this, 12 years ago before I was married and had no insurance, I was at the mercy of LSU AKA "charity" hospital. The way patients are used in these facilities is for lack of a better word, terrible to say the least. By used I mean practiced on. After having a botched gallbladder surgery, a week later I was rushed back to the ER with the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my life. I then layed on a gurney for another 48hr while student after student came in to poke and prod on me all for the sake of practice. They start out with the smallest IV needle they have so that they can keep coming in to tell you they have to change to a bigger needle(practice). That went on about 5 or six times. Finally after my mom threw a hellacious fit they decided it was time for me to go to surgery to take care of the bile peritonitis they had discovered about 8 hours earlier on a cat scan. After a lengthy surgery and unsuccessfully finding the leak in my bile duct, three days later I had an ERCP done while I was WIDE AWAKE! Words cannot express that experience. I actually think i suffered post traumatic stress disorder over that.So you see it does make a difference even right here in the good ole US of A. However I did live and I think that is where a lot of cover up goes on in this country, with the patients who live not the patients who die.

[Georgia 2,908]

One of Rox's last post. Enough said. RIP, Rox.

"My bank accounts, brokerage accounts, and the assets of my mom's estate are all TOD to my oldest son, with the understanding that he shares it equally with his brother - he'll share because i've threatened to haunt him if he does'nt. But seriously, this is major surgery and unfortunately there is a chance of death, whenever there is anasthesia involved."

[No game 14,436]

Roxanne's last post...

I am going to be on my way to Mexicali' date=' and surgery with Dr. Aceves. That being said, I read part of whatever little dust-up happened over someone coming home un-sleeved. From what I read, this was her own choice.

My choice is to go forward with my trip and I will ask about his complications. There are thousands of threads on these forums and I know (even though I may not have much of a life)that I have not had time to go through all the complications, just as some people do not share their "easy" outcomes - so that others don't get the wrong idea. Could it just be possible that all the people who had complications did not post their outcomes??[/quote']

And my reply to her...

My doctor' date=' had a complication on my surgery day, the patient before me was a super morbidly obese person and she had some problems.. She's fine by the way, but I still had my surgery by a competent doctor whom I trusted, complications happen, chances are they won't happen to you. But this is life and its not prefect and no amount of money or research can change that.

By the way my surgery was in the USA,

This is life! and the benefits far outweighed the risks for me, because I was morbidly obese and would of suffered much more severe complications [/quote']