why do people hide it?

[Shenedra1 6]

I have only told a select few. It has nothing to do with me being ashamed, not having a good family/support system, or failing. It has all to do with me not being an open book. I have a small circle of close friends, large group of friends and family members.... I've learned a long time ago, only certain friends and family can handle every situation you might be going through in your life. I might share after I have surgery, but for now I don't need any negativity or opinions....my spirit needs to be clear of any drama!

[Shenedra1 6]

I've kept my surgery a secret except for a few people. It's my business and my choice to tell. My medical history is no one business. I had a cousin who had a breast reduction because they were large' date=' and one was much bigger and saggier then the other but she didn't make it public knowledge that she was having a surgery to fix them. Why should we have to tell the world about our medical conditions?[/quote']

I agree! It's nobody's bussiness.

[TES 858]

When my sister had her surgery years ago, I was excited for her, overwhelmed with the speed of weight loss, and would constantly ask "how much did you lose this week?" I'm sure it was a pain in the rump, but she never complained, and everyone and their brother would ask her nonstop about her weightloss and question what she put on her plate.

Four years ago my only child died.....and well meaning people concentrated on it..... 2 and 3 years later people still focused on it....and it was so hard to heal and continue on........I do not want people to focus on me, how much weight I lose, nor what I'm eating......it's no one's business.....and where I work, I'd get nothing done......so my hubby and above mentioned sister know, and that's it.

Patty Gee, I am so sorry for your loss--knowing that context is very meaningful though. It would make sense that you would want some privacy about your weight loss after feeling like you had a magnifying glass on your personal life from well-meaning people. Wishing you all the best.

[SDH 87]

The only person that knows about my surgery is my husband. I know if I tell my mother or sister that they will try to talk me out of it and I just don't want to talk about it...my mind is made up. I start my liquid diet this Wednesday and my surgery is scheduled for September 4th.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I don't want to fail because I know everyone is watching.

I can't tell you how many times I thought this would be me with WWs. That whole accountability thing... HA! Yeah, didn't work for me.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Hi RJ i Read your story, your are full courage and a blessing.

Thank you Ballermom!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I was open about my surgery, I wish I wouldn't have told anyone. I received a lot of negative feed back. At work I can't even enjoy my lunch with out being asked; how may calories is that, how many grams of Protein is that, that doesn't look healthy and the list goes on.

Yup. I had enough of this with WWs, South Beach, etc. People don't know enough about VSG and I would rather be the center of attention when I go out to eat because of my charm, good look and personality than because I had most of my stomach removed and everyone wants to know the nitty gritty.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

When my sister had her surgery years ago, I was excited for her, overwhelmed with the speed of weight loss, and would constantly ask "how much did you lose this week?" I'm sure it was a pain in the rump, but she never complained, and everyone and their brother would ask her nonstop about her weightloss and question what she put on her plate.

Four years ago my only child died.....and well meaning people concentrated on it..... 2 and 3 years later people still focused on it....and it was so hard to heal and continue on........I do not want people to focus on me, how much weight I lose, nor what I'm eating......it's no one's business.....and where I work, I'd get nothing done......so my hubby and above mentioned sister know, and that's it.

Big hugs.

[lotti 154]

I do not hide a dam thing

[KayCTheNewMe 50]

There is definitely a trade off in people knowing and not knowing. My recovery nurse even asked why I had it done on the way to the upper gi! She told me she had a breast reduction so I asked her why shed do that lol and she had access to my chart lol Its a pain in the ass when a friend or someone u havent talked to in a while ask the same questions youve answered a million times. And with the army wife, I have no idea how she will keep it a secret. I dont plan on getting pregnant for a while but I can only assume once she goes to so many visits without him, or the doctor tells her she needs a special diet/vitamins or is in labor that hes going to be pissed she kept it a secret.

My biggeat concern really is being with someone who doesnt know about the surgery and something serious happens (car accident, etc) has to take u to the hospital and cant tell them your proper medical concerns and the docs do or give you something that hurts you instead of helps. I had to let my upper gi nurse know I can't do the bubbles that expand your stomach. She had to ask the doctor if it was ok not to do it...

[MommyofFive 243]

I didn't tell a lot of people until just recently. (I'm 8 months out and a few lbs from goal *YAY ME*) I even went to the first few appts without even sharing it with my spouse. I wanted the decision to be mine and didnt want others opinions to influence me. After. I felt a little embarrassed. I'm more comfortable with it now and feel so proud.

[luckysmomma 407]

People can be mean, intentionally & unintentionally. I told no one. My health is my business. I didn't want to worry family & friends. I didn't want coworkers and others in my life gossiping about me anymore than what they probably already do! I don't look at it as 'hiding' it ...it is my choice not to tell just the same as someone has the choice to tell... everybody is different about it. I think we need to be respectful of everyone's choices on such matters. It is their journey, you know what I mean.

[Batman 31]

I have a sort of weird situation with who I've told and who I haven't. My husband knows... and most of my coworkers know. The rest of the family is in the dark. I have no doubt my family will be nothing but supportive but I feel like it's none of their business and I feel really weird (like pit in your stomach weird) about them knowing. I'll probably tell them at some point after the surgery. Hell, I'll have no choice as we live with my in-laws at the moment and it's not going to be something I can really hide after the fact. It's weird but I have a very emotional reaction to them knowing now and I honestly have no idea why I'm having this reaction. I have my psych eval on Wed and the psych has had bypass herself so I'm hoping she can shed some light on why I might be wanting to go this route.

[debmd 5]

I think it's a personal choice. I told a few co-workers who I consider friends. I also shared with my immediate family and a few close friends. But not everyone from my work and not all my friends. I only chose the people I knew would be supportive. But, I think with anything if you tell more than one person there is always a chance that it will get out anyway. I have nothing to hide and am really blessed and proud to have had the courage to follow through with the surgery. The only thing that would hurt me would be people watching what I eat after and questioning it or people who say "she lost weight but she had it easy because she had surgery." Its a ton of hard work and dedication.

[lolly2qt 1]

I have told my mom (who tried talking me out of it) my boyfriend (who is worried but supportive) and 3 friends (one didn't care and the other two looked at me like I was an idiot but quickly changed to they know I can do it) my dad and step mom warned me not to do it even though I never told them I was considering.

I will not tell anyone else simply because my whole life I have tries being invisible and avoided conflict. I do not want to deal with my coworkers and friends that don't understand this is a tool to help me. So if anyone asks I will simply say I watch what I eat and exercise. Maybe when I reach goal I will tell them about surgery.