I've read of so many comments about people who how the surgery from friends, families and even doctors. I am just really curious as to why? My surgeon told me of a fellow army wife who had the surgery while her husband was deployed and has never tolld him and they're trying to get pregnant. It just seems like it will cause more problems than help to hide it. This isn't a diss!!! I am just really curious about why one's reasons to hide something so big in your life.

I think people feel shame because they can't lose the weight on their own.

I do not understand it either. Maybe some people feel ashamed. I am happy that i am brave enough to try to make a change.

I didn't tell people because if you fail it would make me feel worse and also because I don't want people asking me all the time about it, my weight to me is extremely personal to me.

I'm not hiding it, nor am I ashamed of it, I am simply not announcing my surgery to the world. Why? It's none of anyone's business. I am working hard eating right, exercising daily and journaling everything.

My parents and immediate family know, my BFFs know and a few of my work team members know. Why does anyone else need to?

I'm hiding it from a lot of people and have only told close friends and family. I can only give you my reasons why. I am a lap band revision. I remember comments made to me when I was getting my lap band and I told everyone. Telling close friends this time I got some negative responses one in particular that really pissed me off and also had an aunt shove a smart ones meal in my face and tell me WW was all I need in my life. (As if I haven't done that a gazillion times) I may or may not tell people after the surgery. I'm undecided. I told my husband to not tell my MIL bc she will tell the entire state of SC. His family are the happy fat people type that can't understand why you can't have "a little sugar"(diabetes) and just live life happy and unhealthy. In the end it's a personal choice, the surgery, and I dont need others negativity bringing me down about it. I have enough of my emotions all over the place right now as I'm being sleeved on Wednesday. I don't need to add to that bc of someone in my life forcing their opinions on me as to why I shouldn't have this done. Sorry for the long rant. Lol. The person I mentioned earlier pissed me off recently so it's still fresh. Hope that gives you some insight.

:-)

Kelly

I only told a few people....I'm not worried about failure nor am I embarrassed...Its just my personal thing...Alot of people will express there negativite to the surgery whiles other say, I'm fine...I don't need it...so instead of sharing, I prefer to keep it to myself....Its been since March 2013, when I decided upon this & I still don't have a date yet...1st, I had to quit smoking, then give up diet coke...done....now its 2 more lbs to go...all my tests are done & insurance submitted.....now everyone that I did tell about my surgery has forgotten...

I have only informed a small group of people... But one thing I would like to interject here..No one ever helped or supported me before in weight issues..losing or gaining..In fact some were quite happy and relieved that I was bigger then them....

I have been asked if I would speak to folks who are looking into WLS...I have replied yes but only one on one....I am not a freak show and one to be watched....Will not let the masses know because this is my journey. I have things I have to work on for myself....

When I was sick and almost died due to complications from the sleeve surgery...The only question people asked was oh...Has she lost any weight or how much weight has she lost?

I experienced hell for this before and even now 10 months later....I will do it with only the team and the people I trust with the info.....

I just don't really want to talk to people about it. Like my family and a few friends know, and I imagine I may share more as I lose, but I didn't want to have discussions with like random coworkers and acquaintances. I'm thinking at work I may just say I had my gallbladder out because I know my eating will look very different and hopefully I will start to look very different. I am 5'5" 213 and looked less than that so people have been very curious about why I've gone to this 'extreme' and I don't really want to get into it with them!

Everyone is different. In this I think everyone can be right -- to tell or not to tell is a personal choice!

It is. You don't have to have a reason to not tell, anymore than a reason to tell.

I tell everyone. I am very open about the surgery. I see it a motivation. I don't want to fail because I know everyone is watching.

Also I have to admit I enjoy the haters.

I am holding off until the surgery is done at this point. I do not want to deal with the negativity that can come up. I am still 4 weeks off so I may end up telling more people as it gets closer to the time. I told my husband it is kinda like baby names. We never shared names until the baby arrived. So many people will say something like oh I knew a kid named that and he was xyz.. Well once the baby is here, those type of comments drop.

I've decided to test coming out of the closet and start telling people about my sleeve. My family and friends all know and have been very supportive ( at least to my face).

Over the weekend, I was shopping and a sales person who has waited on me for several years, asked me if I had lost weight (yeah, 52 lbs, thanks for finally noticing!). So I responded, "why yes, thank you, I had weight loss surgery." Her response was so funny! It was like I told her I had a sex change operation! I'm still laughing about it.

I am in the same boat as SuzyB, I chose not to say anything beforehand because well people don't need to constantly try to "convert" me away from surg. So it was nice going in to it with full confidence. Now I did tell my husband and mother and they were my support. Now I tell just about everyone. But I have noticed the looks I get at work. They give me the "once over" to see if I look like I have lost anything. Mind you I am 2 weeks out today and my manager has said twice, "so when do you expect to see results" I am down 18lbs and I notice a difference but have not received any comments yet. ITs the pushy ones like that that I can do without!!!

I tell everyone. I am very open about the surgery. I see it a motivation. I don't want to fail because I know everyone is watching.

Also I have to admit I enjoy the haters.

Lol I enjoy the haters!! Funny thing is I was telling my brother yesterday that its kinda nice to have someone not like me ( we were talking about 2 specific people in a group of friends, they are friends with several of my friends) I need a little yin with my yang!! I'm always entertained by those that hate me... Kinda thrive on it! Lol

As for hiding the surgery... I haven't hidden it from anyone... The choice to have surgery was mine, nobody else's I gave everyone the opportunity to deal with the news of my surgery the way they wanted... Only one brother of my 4 was upset about it... I simply told him that he didn't have to like my decision but his opinion wouldn't be considered in my decisions. This is my body not his. I told him I do however expect you to respect my decision. He was at the hospital the day of my surgery. Because at the end of the day I'm his sister and we support one another no matter what.

The difference between myself and most people is the kind of family I have and the kind of support I have. I am extremely lucky in this regard, everyone at my work knows why I'm on medical leave. All my friends and all my family know as well.. I chose to include them in my journey because they are all a part of my daily life in general. I'm Italian I have a huge family (ever seen my big fat Greek wedding? Sums up my family in how family gatherings are)

I think confidence plays a huge roll in why people don't say anything or do... I wasn't that kid who got picked on for being fat, I was the kid who had friends in all different social groups. I have always made friends easily, dated traveled... I'm lucky. But it comes from the support and love of the family I was raised in.. Not everyone has that. Again I am lucky to have that kind of support which is why it's easy to tell everyone about it.

I wish everyone had the kind of support I have. But they don't.