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Leaving old "friends" behind...happily.



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Let me first say I dont think of myself as a mean person. But, maybe I should rethink that.

We have a lady at work that I have always been friendly with. She hasnt been someone I would hang out with after work, but at work, when I used to smoke we would go out together, talk about our kids, etc..

She has always acted like the "perfect" 1950's sitcom mom. Even though she smokes like a stevadore, drinks like a fish, has a really bad dye job and a REALLY deep voice. Its been a contrast I struggled with. I felt she was fake.

I became really sick, gall bladder, 16 months ago. One morning I decided smoking tasted bad and made me sick. I threw away the pack and that was it. No craving, no withdrawl. I figure my body was too sick to bother. That seem to bother her. It was always the little comments, but I let them go.

When I first decided to see my doc about VSG, I was lucky to have a friend (real one) who was in the process. We discovered we both were thinking about it when we started walking at lunch.. She actually was just a month away from surgery. Again, this seem to bother this lady. After I was sleeved, the comments became about her being the "fat" friend. Why didnt we tell her sooner,how she was going to talk to her doc and get a sleeve.

I explained she probably wouldnt qualify, at 5'9" and about 175. Boy was she upset. The comments got thicker and she has acted more and more the martyr. UGH!!!

About 3 months ago I noticed she was putting on alot of weight. Probably about 50 lbs so far.

It was then I was done.

I cant even have a conversation with her anymore. She plays the "poor little me" and I just want to ***ch slap her.

I did this for my health. I had uncontrolled high BP, I will need knees replaced due to genetics and have to be ubder 200, borderline diabetic and neropathy in my feet and legs. I cant fathom putting on 75 lbs so you can be like "insert any name".

I just dont gave patience anymore for these games. I want to be active, be around active and happy people.

Has anyone else moved on from former friends due to lack of patience?

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Well, I haven't moved on from friends for the exact reasons you did but I did move on from a friend who was just such a Debbie Downer that I just finally gave up! I think that's the reason you gave up on this one, not because she smoked or was overweight but because she had a way of bringing you down & we just don't need people like that in our lives ~ ever. I felt so free once I stopped communicating with that one friend. I felt bad too at times because I know she had problems but sometimes I felt she brought on her own problems. I do still think of her at times, even tho I moved 2000 miles away about 17 years ago & I do wish her well, but I also can't be happier about her not being in my life anymore!

Move on sweetie, & never look back!

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With all due respect, this person was not and is not your friend. Depending on your respective jobs, you can maintain a professional workplace. Life is short, don't waste your time on Ms. Petty Me's problems

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BayshoreBuddy,

Ok, how did my cat get into your picture?

I suspected Tigger was moonlighting as a model.

post-20464-13813668785469_thumb.jpg

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Riley is my third ginger cat and my stand-in on blogs.

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Sometimes people come into our lives for a period of time and then you grow apart or move on. This lady sounds a lot more like an acquaintance than a friend. It sounds like she is one of those people with her own pity party. You have grown away and she is resentful.

Glad you were able to make another connection with a coworker who is also under going the surgery.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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