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I decided to be VERY OPEN with my surgery and tell EVERYONE I know. I was apprenhensive at first but it turned out to be great!! Everyone is very supportive and very curious about what I'm going thru, how's my diet, etc... I think it really helps me to talk about it, it's like therapy every day. I think if you hide it, you have no one to talk to about it which could lead to problems.... Good luck, it's worth it!!

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Jeanie, I too am a lower BMI. I have had a couple of close friends tell me they thought I wasn't heavy enough for the surgery. First, it's really evenly distributed and I probably do not look as heavy as I am. I think I look my weight but they seem surprised I weigh what I do. I don't see how, I wear a 3x top! But this has been a struggle for more than 25 years. I've been bigger, and I've been smaller. I'm in the general neighborhood weight-wise that I've been for years. I can't seem to get it off and keep it off.

I have a strong family history of diabetes and heart disease. I am pre-diabetic, have elevated cholesterol and lipids, and am knocking on the door of cardiac problems. I'm 45 and I want to run with my kids and not get out of breath running up the stairs at work. I want to be healthy. I can honestly say I've tried everything else. I lived in the gym for a couple of years. Yes, I lost weight. But it was not a reasonable effort to lose it. It was extraordinary and all consuming. I don't have the time, energy or inclinication for that now. I want to be present for my kids, my husband, and myself. This is for me and my immediate family. Everyone else is entitled to their opiniion. I appreciate their concern and that it's coming from a caring place. But this was a decision my very conservative husband is behind 100% because he's seen the struggles and is concerned for my health.

I will gladly tell people I'm having it done and gladly tell how I lost the weight. If they feel entitled to remark upon it, I am very capable of saying "I appreciate your concern, but this is my journey."

Am I scared? Do I have any reservations, concerns and "Have I really tried everything?" questions? ABSOLUTELY! Terrified. But I'm terrified of what will happen if I don't have it. Need to do this before I have serious, irreversible complications.

You are not in it alone and you have a tremendous support group in this forum as well as your family.

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Have a great day tomorrow, Jeannie. Be calm, be confident, and know you're taking back control of you.

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Jeanie, I too am a lower BMI. I have had a couple of close friends tell me they thought I wasn't heavy enough for the surgery. First, it's really evenly distributed and I probably do not look as heavy as I am. I think I look my weight but they seem surprised I weigh what I do. I don't see how, I wear a 3x top! But this has been a struggle for more than 25 years. I've been bigger, and I've been smaller. I'm in the general neighborhood weight-wise that I've been for years. I can't seem to get it off and keep it off.

I have a strong family history of diabetes and heart disease. I am pre-diabetic, have elevated cholesterol and lipids, and am knocking on the door of cardiac problems. I'm 45 and I want to run with my kids and not get out of breath running up the stairs at work. I want to be healthy. I can honestly say I've tried everything else. I lived in the gym for a couple of years. Yes, I lost weight. But it was not a reasonable effort to lose it. It was extraordinary and all consuming. I don't have the time, energy or inclinication for that now. I want to be present for my kids, my husband, and myself. This is for me and my immediate family. Everyone else is entitled to their opiniion. I appreciate their concern and that it's coming from a caring place. But this was a decision my very conservative husband is behind 100% because he's seen the struggles and is concerned for my health.

I will gladly tell people I'm having it done and gladly tell how I lost the weight. If they feel entitled to remark upon it, I am very capable of saying "I appreciate your concern, but this is my journey."

Am I scared? Do I have any reservations, concerns and "Have I really tried everything?" questions? ABSOLUTELY! Terrified. But I'm terrified of what will happen if I don't have it. Need to do this before I have serious, irreversible complications.

You are not in it alone and you have a tremendous support group in this forum as well as your family.

Thank you for your words. Your story is similar to mine except I'm a little older. I am with you, I am terrified of what will happen if I don't. Thank you for your support. I know this is a personal decision that deep down inside I know is right for me. I wish you luck on your journey too. hugs xxx jeanie

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Have a great day tomorrow, Jeannie. Be calm, be confident, and know you're taking back control of you.

That's for the well wishes jayker. I WILL be confident! The same to you on the 23rd :)

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I'm in exactly the same boat, my dear. BMI of 35.87, and carry my weight 'well', because I'm tall. Still doesn't detract from the PCOS, the constantly sore knee, the compressed L4/5 lumbars, trapped sciatic and sacral nerves and the diabetes knocking on the door.

I'll level with you - I'm petrified, too. My mind is consistently saying 'you are cutting up a perfectly functioning organ, what are you doing, woman?!!!'. In fact, I think I'll need a bucket load of drugs on board before even getting into the theater because of how scared I am. I think most people here have experienced varying degrees of this and I, too, would be grateful to know if anyone had the mental block about the surgery part?

The only words of comfort I can offer, because I am in the same boat as you, is that neither of us would have been approved for surgery, if the doctors/surgeons/nutritionists/psychologists felt we could have done it any other way and that it's genuinely for the best.

My thoughts will be with you tomorrow. Deep breaths, steel yourself and you will fly through this. It is but a little mountain to climb, in order to find your nirvana. It'll no doubt be easier than you think. You're a woman after all - we bloody rock at this stuff!

Let us know how you get on. I'll be waiting to learn from your experience.

All the best, x

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I'm in exactly the same boat, my dear. BMI of 35.87, and carry my weight 'well', because I'm tall. Still doesn't detract from the PCOS, the constantly sore knee, the compressed L4/5 lumbars, trapped sciatic and sacral nerves and the diabetes knocking on the door.

I'll level with you - I'm petrified, too. My mind is consistently saying 'you are cutting up a perfectly functioning organ, what are you doing, woman?!!!'. In fact, I think I'll need a bucket load of drugs on board before even getting into the theater because of how scared I am. I think most people here have experienced varying degrees of this and I, too, would be grateful to know if anyone had the mental block about the surgery part?

The only words of comfort I can offer, because I am in the same boat as you, is that neither of us would have been approved for surgery, if the doctors/surgeons/nutritionists/psychologists felt we could have done it any other way and that it's genuinely for the best.

My thoughts will be with you tomorrow. Deep breaths, steel yourself and you will fly through this. It is but a little mountain to climb, in order to find your nirvana. It'll no doubt be easier than you think. You're a woman after all - we bloody rock at this stuff!

Let us know how you get on. I'll be waiting to learn from your experience.

All the best, x

It's nice to know I'm not alone. I too have sciatic nerve problems among other things. Your words have inspired me and I thank you for that. It was a nice post to read right before bed. I am like you, I do not mess with any of my perfectly functioning organs, but this body is not working and processing the way it used to and drastic times call for drastic measures. Please let me know when your date of surgery is because I would like to cheer you on as well. Sounds like you are from the UK. That would be great because I know a little cockney slang. Thanks again for your support and I will let you know how it all goes!!! :) jeanie

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We are our own worst critics.

Yes we are Kennedy. We only get one shot on this big rock in the sky :)

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Thank you for your words. Your story is similar to mine except I'm a little older. I am with you, I am terrified of what will happen if I don't. Thank you for your support. I know this is a personal decision that deep down inside I know is right for me. I wish you luck on your journey too. hugs xxx jeanie

Will be keeping you in my thoughts/prayers. Let us know how you are doing as soon as you are able. You'll do great!

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Jeanie-How are you doing? How was the surgery? I hope all is well and recovery has been smooth!

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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