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Lots of questions...please help!



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Hello everyone! Please be patient with me but I have a few questions. I decided a few months ago that I want to have the sleeve surgery. Of course, my insurance won't cover it, so it looks like I'll be going to Mexico. My husband says we'll save up for it, but I've ran the numbers. If I wait until we save enough for the trip it will take a long time. So my first question is how did you pay? I need to know my options. I know it seems like I'm in a hurry, but that's because I am. My pcp and my obgyn have both said my fertility issues are due to my weight. I've tried the diet and exercise route, but I get very little results. I'm told because I have PCOS it makes it difficult to lose weight. All I have ever wanted is to have a big family, and this breaks my heart. I feel like every day I hear the news that another friend of mine is pregnant and I am starting to get bitter, and I hate that! I'm not that type of person. I don't want to wait. I am almost 30. I know that's not old, but to me, I feel like I've already missed out on so much. Thank you all for making me feel accepted. So many people don't understand.

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Hey Sara - my insurance covers this but I feel your pain with the infertility. I am still paying off my IVF. My husband and I struggled for a long time but we were blessed with children so keep working on it. I now have four crazy kids and a heap of credit card bills but I wouldn't change it for the world. As for the friend thing - I couldn't speak to my best friend for two weeks after she announced she was pregnant. I wanted so much to be happy for her but she told me on a day that I found out I wasn't. anyway, enough about me. keep you chin up and look into what Mrs Fuller said. Stress is a big factor in weight gain AND infertility so try and reduce yours. Best of luck to you. I'll keep you in my prayers

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I can't be too much help. I understand your desire to get the surgery done quickly. We had a bit of cash in savings that I used instead of putting a new deck on our house. If you have good credit, I would recommend a Line of Credit or a low interest credit card verses some of the medical financing cards that are available.

I think Dr. Rodriguez has inhouse financing if you have some down. He is a little more than some of the Dr.'s in TJ though.

Best of luck.

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I dipped into my retirement. I think it worth it. If I can't get this weight off permanently, there will be no point saving for retirement.

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I dipped into my retirement. I think it worth it. If I can't get this weight off permanently' date=' there will be no point saving for retirement.[/quote']

That's so true! And think of all the money you will save over the years by not buying food! Lol

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If I decide to do the surgery I will borrow from my 401k. You are just paying yourself back plus interest so not too bad.

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Yup, just using that money now for medical preventative care vs in 20 years for insulin, BP meds, Cholesterol meds, etc.

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And remember you can claim it on taxes next year, so hopefully recoup some of the cost. (Sorry I can't give you the tax info, it's on another thread. Something like 7.5% over gross income?)

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We took out a loan from my fiancé's credit union. We are both getting sleeved in Mexico so we took out enough to cover surgery, airfare, extra hotel room for my mom who is going with us, & passports. We will use our savings to cover any bills if needed while I'm out on FLMA. My fiancé is using vacation time so he'll get full pay while off.

Good luck & I hope you're able to secure a method to get the surgery paid. We felt the extra $400/month payment was worth it for our health. I'm guessing you might feel similar because having kids is riding on it for you.

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And remember you can claim it on taxes next year' date=' so hopefully recoup some of the cost. (Sorry I can't give you the tax info, it's on another thread. Something like 7.5% over gross income?)[/quote']

Thanks for that reminder!!

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I was a self-pay as well. My husband is dead-set against credit cards and financing anything but homes, so we starting saving cash. I felt like it was going to take forever. But we ended up refinancing our home (interest rate from 4.9% to 3%) and we were able to get money from that and still have a lower monthly payment. It was a win-win for us for sure.

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If you do get a credit card, you may qualify for zero interest. Plus...having one can help your credit. I am also a PCOS. I did fertility for a year. We stopped for a month and were waivering between ivf and adoption. We decided to try ivf once and before picking up the medication I found out I was pregnant. The last treatment I had was an exploratory surgery..and he cleaned out my tubes. (Which are disformed) After having my baby, I developed congestive heart failure. I almost died. It took six months to recover my heart. Four years later we adopted the most beautiful baby girl from China. My point: no matter what the difficulty. .there is always a way to expand your family and always hope!

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SaraLou, I totally feel you! The main reason I'm having surgery is for infertility. It's so hard when you're at that age when all of your friends are having babies, posting pictures all over Facebook, you've attended a million baby showers and all the while you're trying not to turn into that bitter person. I always joke about stealing my friends' babies...but I'm kind of half serious. lol :) I understand how much it hurts and that it's hard to explain to other people, and that people in your life don't understand how painful it is to be unable to do something that comes so easily to everyone else. And, of course, the guilt and shame that you feel when you tell yourself that it's your fault because you just can't control your eating and wondering if your husband feels like he made a mistake by marrying someone who can't have children. Ugh. or maybe that's just me. :unsure:

As far as paying for it, I am saving up slowly with the plan to have enough by December for surgery and I'm going to put the flight cost on my credit card. It's a while away and I get more anxious by the day, which means that I should be certifiably insane by December. This is definitely the downside to having to wait and save up for months, especially if you tend to have anxiety already. Bleh.

Here are some other ideas: Getting a loan through a credit union, you may be able to get a credit card with a high enough limit that it'll cover, you might consider asking a parent or grandparent for a loan - which I know sucks, but it could be a last resort. Sometimes you can borrow against your retirement. That's all I've got. I REALLY hope you find a way to do this.

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SaraLou' date=' I totally feel you! The main reason I'm having surgery is for infertility. It's so hard when you're at that age when all of your friends are having babies, posting pictures all over Facebook, you've attended a million baby showers and all the while you're trying not to turn into that bitter person. I always joke about stealing my friends' babies...but I'm kind of half serious. lol :) I understand how much it hurts and that it's hard to explain to other people, and that people in your life don't understand how painful it is to be unable to do something that comes so easily to everyone else. And, of course, the guilt and shame that you feel when you tell yourself that it's your fault because you just can't control your eating and wondering if your husband feels like he made a mistake by marrying someone who can't have children. Ugh. or maybe that's just me. :unsure:

As far as paying for it, I am saving up slowly with the plan to have enough by December for surgery and I'm going to put the flight cost on my credit card. It's a while away and I get more anxious by the day, which means that I should be certifiably insane by December. This is definitely the downside to having to wait and save up for months, especially if you tend to have anxiety already. Bleh.

Here are some other ideas: Getting a loan through a credit union, you may be able to get a credit card with a high enough limit that it'll cover, you might consider asking a parent or grandparent for a loan - which I know sucks, but it could be a last resort. Sometimes you can borrow against your retirement. That's all I've got. I REALLY hope you find a way to do this.[/quote']

Thank you so much! I say that too! :) I'm doing some research to try to figure out what to do. I was going to borrow my mother in laws credit card to pay for it and then pay her back but the coordinator that I've been talking to said they really don't except credit cards with it being in another country because if the interest rate. That sounds kinda hinky cause that should be my problem and not theirs. Maybe I should start researching another surgeon.

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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