IM so sick of everywhere I go my old man looks at every woman that he sees. Now I know its alright to look but, Cmon I would like a lil attention from him. Is it just me or does anyone else have this problem. I can see why some women leave their husbands and viceversa. It makes me feel soo bad about myself, I feel like what is the matter with me , anit I good enough, what do I need to change now? Im thinking husbands. If you wanna vent and put your 2Cents in letter fly I need some advise. Come on now Im waiting to hear your story. :cool: :welldone:

IM so sick of everywhere I go my old man looks at every woman that he sees. Now I know its alright to look but, Cmon I would like a lil attention from him. Is it just me or does anyone else have this problem. I can see why some women leave their husbands and viceversa. It makes me feel soo bad about myself, I feel like what is the matter with me , anit I good enough, what do I need to change now? Im thinking husbands. If you wanna vent and put your 2Cents in letter fly I need some advise. Come on now Im waiting to hear your story. :cool: :welldone:

Minipearl,

I totaly understand where you are coming from. :cry I have been married for almost 12 yrs and knew when we got married that he liked to watch porn and once we got computer literate he liked to go into FREE adult websites to "LOOK". He too would always check out women we came across and even would check out women on TV, especially since we got TIVO and he can rewind if he thinks he could catch a glance at tits or ass. Over the last yr or so he constantly makes sexual related comments while we are watching TV (it doesnt matter what kinda of show it is) to the point I don't even like watching tv with him. Last night I was trying to watch a tv show and he was playing a game on the computer and he was only hearing bits and pieces of the show and all I could here was these rude and crude comments about the woman on the show (it was on Disc health channel), I finally told him to shut up and play his game as I could not here the show for his comments.

He even took it too far back in October, as I found out he had secretively joined 3 adult personal websites and even posted personal ads, wanting to meet locals "to have a drink and see what happens." I would have never in my wildest dreams thought my husband who I use to think was one of the "few great men left" would do this. His parents were even dumbfounded to think he did this. He claims he never intended to really go and meet any one in person but I asked then why post an ad. He showed little remorse about being caught and was totally oblivious that he had disrespected or hurt me by his actions. I don't even really want to be intimiate with him as to him its a quick f**k and there is no attempting to pleasure me as once he gets done we are done. Think god for the battery operated machines.

He never acknowledges that I have done great with my first yr of weight loss = 76 pounds, he instead tries to make suggestions of what I don't and do need to be eating and exercising when he is sitting there craming twinkies and Ice cream into his mouth. Making me feel quilty for not having lost more weight. Everytime he hears or sees something on bypass he says don't you wish you had done that one, you would have lost it all by now, I tell him I am happy with my decision and its my body not his and I think I made the right choice. :clap2:

After all this we were gonna separate but because we are in Alaska I didnt really wnat to be up here by myself as my family is in TX. SO we are due to hopefully get moved back to OK, TX or NM within the next couple months. Between his actions and the changes in me personally with my weight loss I am not totally convinced that I love him the same way anymore. :cry THIS apprantly happens alot after wight loss of one spouse. We will see what happens come the summer when we are settled back down south.

Well didn't mean to hijack your post just been thinking about this all day and when I seen it I thought OH MY it does happend to other women.

Feel free to PM me.

Terri

Ladies, People with sexual addictions have it really hard because as with most addictions there is a chemical involved. When you have sex, endorphines are released. When porn or other media is used, it increases the frequency of the release of endorphines beyond what would be considered normal, and thats where the addiction becomes real. It becomes a need, and it increases in dependency. A fix is required, so usually the type of sexual gratification changes or increases. It is a true addiction, so people that have this addiction end up going through the ususal changes, like personality profiles that change over time. It isnt something that they want to have happen or even percieve it happening. I cant speak to the way people find their way out of this, I can only tell you of the fact that the few people I know that had a journey through this needed a lot of support and accountablilty.

Im sorry if you have a spouse that needs to watch so many other women, please know that this isnt about you or your measuring up to thier preferences, It is a problem that they have that effects you and it is not your fault.

I hope you can tell that I am not an expert, but I do have close friends that have overcome this addiction, and your original post was an all to exact sequence that they lived through.

Take care of yourself. Try to find some personal support through this. Best wishes.

Thank you all so much, That is just part of my eating problem, I hope getting this band when my time comes will make me feel better and give me more self esteem. Did it help how you felt about yourself losing the weight and looking good in your clothes? I hope it helps me, cause my hubby never notices nothing.

Thank you all so much, That is just part of my eating problem, I hope getting this band when my time comes will make me feel better and give me more self esteem. Did it help how you felt about yourself losing the weight and looking good in your clothes? I hope it helps me, cause my hubby never notices nothing.

Minipearl#2,

I know that even though it would be nice to hear from him that I am looking good and doing good with the weight loss, I DON'T need him to make me feel good about myself anymore. I know I look and feel 100% better and thats all that matters. If he CAN'T realize what he has right in front of him then one of these days it might be too late and he will realize he lost out on living a long full life with a wonderful and beautiful woman. I currently weigh what I weighed when we married and I had plenty of fishes in the sea to choose from, I just thought he was the best one at the time. Still is but just don't know if I can deal with his obessession/addiction. I use to have such low self-esteem that I believed that the only men I could have were losers that I "could fix". It took me a long time to realize that if they don't want to change I can't change them no matter what I do. If its meant to be it will work itself out and if not then life goes on and I will continue to look out for #1, ME.

Being the first man posting here! If im driving down the road and happen to see a nice looking lady I will some time's look! I don't drive around the block to get a second look eather or look at the woman with Lust full intent. I don't watch Porn on my Tv or on the puter. I have a great wife and Ive have found out that the best thing I can do for my kidds is love there mother. And she is easy to love. And "I" do love her.