Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

What's your internal dialogue?



Recommended Posts

My internal dialogue today is so negative..

Why are you so fat still?

why are you sabotaging your weight loss?

If you didn't eat so much and exercised more you wouldn't be so unhappy with yourself.

Maybe this is it, maybe you won't really lose much more, maybe you should be happy where you are? why can't you be happy with the way you look/feel now? Even if you lost it "all" would you be happy? Are you ever happy?

Why can't I just love myself, my body,

Why can't I just feel like I WANT to feel? Happy energetic, free?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry you are having a rough day. They sound just like the voices in my head somedays.

I have 3 voices in my head The good, the bad and the ugly. Sounds like ugly is rearing her nasty head to you. :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My internal dialog today is not quite like that... but I am feeling anxiety.

Sometimes I realize that food used to mask alot of things like that. I went for a walk, I have tried everything and I still feel this restless feeling.

i do hope you can see yourself in a more positive light - but i know the struggle. I know it is easy for me to say, but how can you possibly feel like you are "so fat" - you really really are not.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can't hate yourself thin. But you know that. My best advice is talk to yourself like you are your own best friend or your daughter. What would you tell her? I made little cards with sayings like " My mind is a garden. I weed out bad thoughts and plant happy thoughts." and I looked at them several times a day. It sounds trite but it worked to help me. Stop the negative loop. I found a cognitive behavior handbook that discusses how to do this. It is very similar to the one Kaiser gave me when I attended the class a few years ago.

http://www.rand.org/content/dam/rand/pubs/monograph_reports/2005/MR1198.6.pdf

Exercise, esp. outdoors makes a huge difference for me too. I know you went on a hike and had a great time. Can you get up and walk every morning for even 15 minutes? DO NOT beat yourself up if you don't. Just know that this might be a healing activity for you, if you can find time for it.

Also, medication may help. If you are already taking meds, they may need to be changed. You are at a different weight and body composition now and you eat differently.

Lynda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mine is the same as yours today. After dinner we are going on a family walk. I found a great breezy, quiet spot and right when the dusk is upon us and it's getting cooler outside is my favorite time. Hopefully it will cheer me up! Hope you find peace within yourself as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sometimes I wish I could just take a day off, from my head from my new lifestyle, everything.

I've not eaten today beside some leftover kale salad (fun) I don't even want to drink my fluids. I just don't feel like it today, lord forbid Laura shouldn't get at least 80oz in..

Lynda I hear you, and I know what you are saying. I do! but it's hard somedays..

I went on a great hike yesterday. Felt great! Strong, Fluid.

But then we have today.

Funny I just went to the store to buy my "healthy food choices" I'm pouting around the store and I look over and there's a man checking me out (I think anyway) meh... That's great that you think I'm good enough to look at, but that's not what I want! I want to be happy! Happy in my skin without your approval!

Ok back to pouting....

Sorry guys a little indulgent but your the ones who read this far :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Heh heh. Yes I did read this far. Well just break something then. That does it for me some days. I just take something in the backyard and smash it. It's been years. I think the exercise and meds got the ugly urge under control a little better.

Lynda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Only one week out and hit my first hard reality. Depressing!!!! I hadn't been on the scale yet, but was talked into it by someone who told me it would encourage me to see the first loss after surgery. Well, guess what??? I weigh two pounds more than I did on surgery day. Can't tell you how encouraged I'm not feeling right now.

Sorry, Laura, that you are having such a hard day. We all know we're going to have them, but it doesn't make them any easier to deal with. Hope tomorrow is a great day for you.

Sent from my iPhone using VST

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Only one week out and hit my first hard reality. Depressing!!!! I hadn't been on the scale yet' date=' but was talked into it by someone who told me it would encourage me to see the first loss after surgery. Well, guess what??? I weigh two pounds more than I did on surgery day. Can't tell you how encouraged I'm not feeling right now.

Sorry, Laura, that you are having such a hard day. We all know we're going to have them, but it doesn't make them any easier to deal with. Hope tomorrow is a great day for you.

Sent from my iPhone using VST[/quote']

What crazy person talked you into stepping on a scale a week after surgery??

Really I didn't even do that! I was so swollen,

I knew it wouldn't be good.

Give it more time and you will be good to go :)

It's funny (not) that that I'm not the only one that beats up on herself.

I thought about not posting it, but I figured there would be more person who knew what it feels like.

Oh Lynda, I like the breaking something.

Now your talking!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My internal dialogue today is so negative..

Why are you so fat still?

why are you sabotaging your weight loss?

If you didn't eat so much and exercised more you wouldn't be so unhappy with yourself.

Maybe this is it, maybe you won't really lose much more, maybe you should be happy where you are? why can't you be happy with the way you look/feel now? Even if you lost it "all" would you be happy? Are you ever happy?

Why can't I just love myself, my body,

Why can't I just feel like I WANT to feel? Happy energetic, free?

This: Maybe you won't lose any more, maybe this is as good as it gets. Have a cupcake/ice cream bar/movie popcorn because it doesn't matter...you won't get to goal no matter what.

Argh! I am trying to ignore it...some days are better than others.

~Kat

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This: Maybe you won't lose any more' date=' maybe this is as good as it gets. Have a cupcake/ice cream bar/movie popcorn because it doesn't matter...you won't get to goal no matter what.

Argh! I am trying to ignore it...some days are better than others.

~Kat[/quote']

I tried to pm you... Bit it's not working at the moment. I've wanted to tell you, I really like you. I like reading what you have on your mind.

Whether it be impartial insight, encouragement,

Or the underbelly of your negative brain loop too.

Thanks for earlier....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Boo, if feel ya.

You know, we are all just work in progress. Just like our weight, we didn't get these body/weight issues overnight, and were aren't going to emerge as the rocking, cool, sexy people that we want to be overnight either. The biggest hurdle, and you know this, is between our ears. We have to break those chains that we aren't where we want to be or we don't look like we want to look, just like we have to break the chains that food has on us.

For me, I've just decided to live. Many days I don't think about VSG or losing weight or any of that. I go out and do my activities, eat as healthy as I possibly can and just focus on living. I don't come round here much simply because I just want to be John, not John the VSG guy. I think living in the VSG world can weigh heavily on people that are further out like us. We have to break that chain and just become who we are. We can't put all the pressure on us, because if we do, we haven't learned a thing. We are no different than we were when we were doing weight watchers, or Atkins, or HGB or Phenphen or Efedra or anything else. But we are different, we made the commitment to get healthy and get better. Cut yourself some slack, take a deep breath and just be the best boo you can be. The rest takes care of itself. Hang in there, you got this!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Boo, if feel ya.

You know, we are all just work in progress. Just like our weight, we didn't get these body/weight issues overnight, and were aren't going to emerge as the rocking, cool, sexy people that we want to be overnight either. The biggest hurdle, and you know this, is between our ears. We have to break those chains that we aren't where we want to be or we don't look like we want to look, just like we have to break the chains that food has on us.

This! I need to work on acknowledging this. :) Very well said, John. I think sometimes we are just not as forgiving of ourselves as we can be of others.

~Kat

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×