Hi,

Im new here and need to know how others have dealt with this issue. My boyfriend is unsure of the surgery. I have shown him everything from the doctor, and nothing has helped. My best friends are ok with me doing it. One is even wanting to take from his job in India to come back to the states for my first month. I have some great support but from the one that I need it the most from. Help?

Why is he unsure of your surgery? Have you asked him to write down his reasoning. Sometimes people can write down their feelings on paper easier then saying them. Perhaps if you asked him to write down his pro's and con's about you having surgery, and at the same time you can write down the pro's and con's for your self.

Please note there are some people who will be in you life for just a season. Maybe the person who is your real cheerleader is the one who is willing to come home from India to be there for you could be the person who will always be by your side. Remember you must believe in yourself before others will. Those who dont do not need to be in your life.

Hang in there

My husband was unsure, too. You have to do what's best for you, though

You are doing this surgery for you and your health and this should be about you. My husband wasn't on board with this decision at first but I told him that I am doing this for my health so I can be there for him and my kids. My husband's point was that he wanted us to try and have one more baby before the surgery. Your boyfriend should understand that this is all about your health. Unless if he is scared of losing you when you start losing weight and looking fabulous.

Thanks for the support. I think he just needs some time to understand it. Before I went to the doctors appointment I told him dont worry this takes months and months. Im sure surgery will not be until next year. Well, I came home will all my required appointments set with in 12 days time and now we are just waiting on a surgery date. Im shocked on the quickness of it but Im ready. Im sure he will come around but it's going to take time for him to do so.

This may sound snippy, but, it really boils down to it is your life, your health, and you have to do what is best for both of that. Dont let anyone rob you of precious time. I wish I had done it years ago, and I have had some issues.

I was once the unsure husband. I thought my wife's surgery was extreme and I worried that there wasn't enough history for the procedure to be safe. She was patient with me, but told me she WAS having this surgery. She lost 107 lbs since having the surgery a little over a year ago. She says it was the best decision ever.

Now for the poetic justice part: Now I am having sleeve surgery on July 25! Her success and numerous doctors begging me to take action brought me to evaluate my options and I am just about to take the same journey as my wife did. So I guess there is hope for even the unsure or unsupportive husband!