Just a general question here would like your honest opinion.

Are Obese people unattractive and unpoular.

PS, Not my views please be reasure of that.

Just a general question here would like your honest opinion.

Are Obese people unattractive and unpoular.

PS, Not my views please be reasure of that.

To me, no, no more then smaller people.

To the culture we live in, very often.

From my perspective, it depends on appearance. I'm a big girl, but I never look sloppy. I think that the way a person sells him/herself has a lot to do with what others think. I've always walked around like I was Tyra Banks or Claudia Schiffer, regardless of the size of my ass. I have more confidence than some girls who are *much* smaller than me. I sell it, and most folks buy it. Attitude can make or break a person. And as far as I'm concerned, I'm the bomb!

JMHO,

Nathalie

Kind of depends. Star Jones was obese, and as far as I could tell, also very popular. If Ryan Gosling became obese I believe he'd stay hot as hell, but someone who's "ugly" is going to be ugly whether fat or thin.

So I guess I'm not really sure what you're asking. Are you asking about "in the eyes of general American society"? Are you asking about whether anyone here, who is/was obese, has been popular or attractive?

<TABLE class=ThmBgStandard cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=10 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD>I was a healthy attractive athlete until my mid 40's. I developed Type 2 diabetes and things exploded after that in huge weight gains that I did not monitor. By the time I had Band surgery in 2005 I was 58. My brain remembered the good old days, so I started behaving like that again. The weight peeled off. I started by training and completing a half marathon. Now, after plastic surgery, my old self is coming back. I still have more surgeries and work to do, but I'm now on a positive roll that will not quit. My heart breaks over obese people who have NEVER been popular, had lots of dates, rode a horse, ran a marathon, etc. It's never too late to learn and go on.

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Just i came across this i found it offencive, May be i read into it to much but to me i read that Obese people are unatractive cant or dont gets dates. dont have lifes and that the poster didnt have a lifetime battle with there weight so in my opinion WLS was very much a first rather than last option, Were as MOST of us who are big try every other available method of weight loss before resorting on surgery. The person who posted that didnt try anything just gained weight and had surgery to fix it. And while they claim to be heart broken for obese people they have some very derogotary opinions of obese people.

Thats how i read it.

I feel there is a huge difference between suffering a lifetime of true obesity and just gaineing a few lb's in later life. We all hear that years of yo yo dieting can mess up your matabolism. So may be the person who posted that found there banding jurney fairly easy because there matabolism had not been shot to peices like most of us who have tried basically everything else all our lifes.

I don't read it that way at all. I don't think the author is saying "no obese people have done these things", I think the author is saying something more like, "I know a lot of you out there let your obesity keep you from doing these things, and I wish you wouldn't. I did, and didn't really *live* because of it".

As for the emphasis on NEVER, I think that's saying, "I experienced it, then lost it. That's sad enough. It's even more sad to think that someone never experienced it".

How can they experience it? they didnt live a life of obesity?

Experienced as in - I experienced the "happiness" of doing these things. Not experienced as in experienced the "sadness" of not doing them.

But I could be reading it wrong, too.

I was not obese my entire life. I know what it is like to live at a "normal" weight, and not have the extra challenges that come with obesity. So maybe I'm reading it with a bias, because I too have said that I feel sorry for people who do not let themselves experience things because of their weight.

Not that long ago I told a fewllow bandster, who also was a normal weight for most of her life, that I felt sorry for people just seeing their real bodies for the first time. Sorry for them because, how weird it must be to not have any idea what you look like at a normal weight - to not know the shape of your hips, or whether you have shapley legs. I mean - if someone has been overweight their entire lives, they've never known these things, right? That's sad to me. And while I can say, "I'm getting my body back", they may say, "I'm getting a body". But while I do say that, I would never say that obese people couldn't be popular.

Was you a big baby and a chubby child then a over weight adult?

Or was you always very slim untill you reached a certain age or had a baby or something along those lines?

I have had a lifetime of weight issues i am finding it harder and harder to lose the weight. It it true yo yo dieting can mess your body up and effect the weight loss prosess?

That was the question posed.

I feel it bares no question on Attractiveness, It was more about could or would people find it harder to lose weight who have messed up motabolisms due to years of bottleing the weight and yo yo dieting.

I felt the respnce was out of context and that may be how i read it my way and i found the comments offencive.

There are social problems due to weight and i feel with opinions like that is it any wonder. untill there for the grace of god go i and it happens to you.

Hey Paige--I think there are many interpretations of that quote. I think that no matter what weight you are, it's all about your personality, and how you look at life. Some obese people live life to the fullest, and don't let their weight get in the way, but others feel sorry for themselves, are depressed, and don't enjoy life at all. I guess I fall somewhere in the middle. I have been overweight most of my life--not necessarily obese until later in life, but never thin. I considered myself popular, had lots of friends, and lots of boyfriends. I tried to make the most of life no matter what my weight. I have tried every diet under the sun, and the band was my last hope. I have developed severe osteoarthritis in my knees and ankles--have had 4 knee surgeries. That is when things started changing in my outlook on things. I tried to continue on like before, but the pain had gotten to be more than I could handle most days.. I know the only way I will feel better is to get this weight off for good. I still consider myself a happy, somewhat popular person, with lots of friends, a loving husband and two beautiful kids, but thing are definately different. I can't wait to get back to the life I had before the arthritis took control of my life. Bottom line is, make the most of what you are given, and I think that if you are a beautiful person inside, other people will see you that way too. Unfortunately, there are a lot of simple-minded people in our society who judge people only on their appearance. But who wants to associate with people like that anyway? Love yourself, and others will love you too, and if you choose to lose the weight, do it for yourself, no one else!

I agree with Weetsin on this. I also agree with NGAdams. Its all how you carry yourself. I have been big all my life and yo-yo constantly loosing significant weight several times only to gain it back with interest. I think the point is that a lot of us, myself included have never enjoyed some of the pleasures in life because A) we can't physically do it, or we don't have the confidence to do it. There are certainly exceptions to that. I use myself as a perfect example. Before I was banded and at my higher weight, if I saw an attractive girl (such as checking me out at the grocery store), I would rarely make eye contact becuase I thought to myself that she must find my size disgusting. Now, I have much more confidence and I will look them in the eye and smile. So was I unattractive? Yes, because of the way I thought of myself.

ahhh but this is not the perspective of how we feel about our selfs, This is odviously how the poster see's obese people? surly it is beacuse how can they make such a statement if there life has never been one of obesity?

I feel there is a differnece about self esteem and its effects and wether does obesity actually mean that you are less attractive and NEVER popular or cant get dates and have a life.

I feel as a big girl i am farly attractive and i have a abundence of friends and often begging for forgivemess because i cant fit them all in. To a certain extenct weight has stopped me doing certain things but more my "mental state" and how i feel rather than the actual weight being the limitation. untill it began to impact on my health.

This is not a opinion from a self expression this is a opinion of obese people. emphasis is put on populariety. Again we all agree that its more self esteem and self impression that leads to attractiveness and populariety not the actual weight!

Paige - where are you getting those quotes? If you're trying to figure out what the original poster meant, ask her. Don't assume that you understand, as we all can interpret it any way that we want.

You yourself posed a question, we answered, and you still aren't satisfied. I'm not sure what you're looking for in terms of an answer. In my opinion, the original poster's opinion is no more valid than any other response you've received here.

JMHO.

Nathalie

I will give you just a short perspective from a person who was horrible thin most of my life. I didn't have a weight problem until my children were born 14 years ago. My weight problem is as real as anyones. I never loved myself as a thin person or a heavy person, therefore, people see that. Even as a thin person I had no friends, boyfriends, nothing. When I finally started to be happy and loving who I am I started getting alot more friends, people will even talk to me in lines at the stores now. So my point is no matter what your size if you love yourself people will love you in return.

The origional question was from ME i asked about yo yo dieting, so i know what i meant

The reply was a shock as it bares little reference to the actual question, The questuion was about a lifetime struggle and does yo yo dieting effect the ability to lose weight.

lisa the question origionally asked was not about self esteem while itotaly agree with what you say.

The origional question was does years of yo yo dieting effect the ability to lose weight? kinda like if you have been big all your life fighing the fat does it just get harder and harder to lose weight. does yo yo dieting effect the matabolism and the ability to lose weight.

The responce was kina out of context didnt really answer the question other than they was always "slim athletic and attractive" untill later life. The reply emphosized on NEVER being poular or getting dates or having a life. i mean they bare no referrence to the question of matabolism ?

and again there is a difference about how we persive our selfs and how others persive us. As sociaty does mock the big and assumes that because some one is slim they are more attractive and popular and more likely to have successful life. I BEG TO DIFFER