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Hey, Gang!

Sorry it has been so long. I've just kinda been in a "head stuck in the sand" kinda mode for last few weeks. I've read most of your info and see that many of us seem to be a bit down - I know I am - like Kim said, it's insidious. When I look at it overall, I know I SHOULDN'T be and MANY have it a lot worse but that doesn't make it seem much better. I even got back on my Zoloft (my daughter and husband said GET ON IT! :) and have been on for a week or so. Hopefully, that will help take the "edge off".

It's not debilitating but it is affecting me overall. I'm 20 pounds up from goal - the same 20 pounds I lost almost two years ago now and that's irritating. Family stress going on that has made a lot of anxiety.

I'm back to modified 5:2 this week - did really good for a few weeks and lost about 5 pounds - got off track on travel and poof! right back! LOL

It's not hard to do while I'm working but if I'm home, I really want to munch/snack all day long!

On other news, my daughter is 37 weeks now and DIL 34 weeks! We have babies coming soon!!!! Elton Jon Ray Crochet and Iris Grace Smith!! Makes for a busy summer - throw in the other three "Grands" and life is very busy!! They say it will keep me young!! Here's hoping.

Anyway, thanks for thinking of me, Kathy and Kim and others. Thankful that we have a "safe place" to spill and re-energize. Love to all!

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Elton Jon Ray Crochet ... I don't think it will have to worry about other children having the same name!

I've said it before a dozen times and I will continue to say it - depression is heavily linked with diet and the vicious cycle has us eating more of the bad stuff to self medicate, but the tranquilizing effects don't last very long and we are left feeling worse than before. Also, I believe that most obese people were genetically predisposed toward depression - self medicating with food is how we treated ourselves before the intervention of drug therapy.

Feed - how does your restriction feel? Does it feel nice and snug? Today I am having tea, a whole avocado, a Protein Shake, sardines, and a salad. I am tracking my calories once more, and I don't remember the post op Protein goals, was it 60g? I had forgotten how much effort it takes to get that protein up there - all the aforementioned food will only get me to 34g and that's already 520 cals!

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Elton Jon Ray Crochet ... I don't think it will have to worry about other children having the same name!

I've said it before a dozen times and I will continue to say it - depression is heavily linked with diet and the vicious cycle has us eating more of the bad stuff to self medicate, but the tranquilizing effects don't last very long and we are left feeling worse than before. Also, I believe that most obese people were genetically predisposed toward depression - self medicating with food is how we treated ourselves before the intervention of drug therapy.

 

Feed - how does your restriction feel? Does it feel nice and snug? Today I am having tea, a whole avocado, a Protein Shake, sardines, and a salad. I am tracking my calories once more, and I don't remember the post op Protein goals, was it 60g? I had forgotten how much effort it takes to get that protein up there - all the aforementioned food will only get me to 34g and that's already 520 cals!

When I eat protein heavy meals, I cant eat that much, and feel full for a decent amount of time. It does take some effort to eat enough protein... 75-90 gms....

I try to get at least 65..... but don't make it all the time...

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Take a look at this video about the longer term maintenance challenges - spoiler alert as Ann said - this has nothing to do with "stomach stretching"

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I did a couple of things to feel better... and the heavens took away a couple of pounds (water weight) over night. I mentally feel better, like stronger in myself. I also poured my guts out over something horse related that is really bothering me. Talking it through with someone (even though he was full of advice and judgement...grrr) helped me frame it in perspective.

In the end, the big kahuna that is bothering me is my physical problems. My hip responded well to the injection, but i did a hike on sunday that made me sore. I wanted to cry with frustration - last summer I could have done that hike 3X in a row - no problem. It makes me feel old and disabled. It makes me feel like I did when I was obese. I actually think this is the root of my "down mood". when I think about it, i experience it as feeling lonely, but i don't actually want to be around people so it isn't really lonliness - it is more of a grieving I guess.

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Please don't flame me CherylJane but, with all the issues with your hip, why did you tempt fate by going on a hike? It took 6 months of doing NOTHING remotely strenuous to get past the bursitis in my right hip, and it took that long because I was so pigheaded about wanting to continue my exercise regimen, wanting to do my yoga, etc.

I did 868 cals yesterday but only managed to get to 41g Protein. The big calorie user was the avocado I had for lunch, 300 cals by itself! But the nutritional payoff is such that I am willing to incur the "cost". I guess I am going to have to double up on my Protein Shakes if I want to make the daily recommended minimum of 60g.

Doughnuts in the office today, I know my 5:2 peeps understand what it took for me to NOT have one!

In four months I am taking my Mom to Italy - we are going to florence for a week! Tickets booked, apartment booked, travel guides are being studied, we are excited! Neither of us have ever been and my Mother has only ever been to Mexico, Canada, and the Bahamas. I do NOT want to be fat for this! I want to be able to hike the Tuscan hills and wear beautiful clothes and get whistled at ;) Above all, I do NOT want to be the stereotype of the fat American, too out of shape to wear anything but elastic waistband shorts and sneakers D:

update: lunch with one of the bigger wigs meant I had to eat restaurant food. Luckily it was a slightly fancy place and I was able to order steamed mussels in their own juices so that 18g protein puts me at 60g protein, without having to drink 2 shakes, yay!

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Sheryl, love that Docs point of view. Very down to earth, and non judgmental.

 

Florinda, Italy! Wonderful. I really have the travel bug right now too.... congrats on getting in your 60.... I managed to get up to 87 today and 750 cals.... over my 550 5:2 limit, but the higher Protein is good. Anyway, I have two awesome avocados sitting there waiting, I will have my 300 cal added day this weekend!

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Last night I had 3 large strawberries sprinkled with brown sugar, before bed. I have been eating clean for four days now and I spent the entire night twitching, waking up intermittently, and itching. Coincidence? I think not. The strawberries put me at 944 cals but considering that I have been eating thousands of calories a day (I seriously wouldn't doubt it) for close to a year, I'm not going to beat myself up.

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I think it is important to make the changes that you can maintain. There has got to be room for strawberries and brown sugar if that is your pleasure. How about strawberries, with a drop of balsamic and a sliver of parm? Adding Protein would be even better... if you like it.

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I agree Feed, I think though that this was my body's way of saying, "no, we don't like this, you are cleaning us out of straight sugar and we like it, this stuff hurts" I also worried that maybe this was some kind of latent strawberry allergy...

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Georgia, so good to hear from you!!! Hugs to you! You sure do have a lot going on. Hang in there. Hopefully the Zoloft will help.

Florinda, I don't know how I feel about not working out when you have an injury. After suffering from a concussion and other issues with my hips, core, and lower back since my accident in December, I don't know what's worse...working out and having pain or dealing with emotional consequences that come from not working out and feeling my body turn to mush. I just don't know. It's a tough call.

Your trip sounds like it'll be a lot of fun. What a great thing to be able to do with your mom!

I also believe that there is some depression/emotional issues that come from being obese. A lot of that I believe is why most become obese in the first place.

I do know that depression can be beat. My mom has done it so it can be done. She still has times that things may happen in her life that bring her down but she is so strong to not let herself stay there for long and pull herself out of it.

For me, I know what I need to do but I am just not doing it. I'll get there.

Good news this week is that my dizziness has been better. Bad news is that I have a chest cold!!! I feel like I'm going crazy. One thing gets better and another gets worse.

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618 cals yesterday and I was so full I had indigestion well into the night! chicken, lettuce, 1 tsp caesar dressing... 2 pieces bacon, 1 egg, 1 tiny coconut flour pancake. It was the egg that gave me indigestion.

Hung my art last night for this month's show, it's hanging in the street facing window!

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I love the dog picture, cannot make the other 2 out too clearly due to reflection in the glass. But it is obvious that you have a talent.

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618 cals yesterday and I was so full I had indigestion well into the night! chicken, lettuce, 1 tsp caesar dressing... 2 pieces bacon, 1 egg, 1 tiny coconut flour pancake.  It was the egg that gave me indigestion.

 

Hung my art last night for this month's show, it's hanging in the street facing window!

Congrats Florinda! Cool!

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The other two are landscapes; the top one is of the cliff formations at my favorite beach at dusk, and the bottom one is of the grasslands of inland CA. I prefer gold leaf carved wood frames, I think they are simultaneously simple and sumptuous. The black wood frame on the dog is a recycle from another piece, I didn't have anything else in that size on hand!

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