My mom is making me want to scream

[kathp 81]

I'm built like my Dad. I did the pre-work on my own, talked it over with my sister. Then I told my parents I was doing it - once my mind was made up. My Mom offered to fly in for the surgery and I almost didn't let her. It was a challenge, but I was glad she was coming to "hold my hand" pre-op.

First thing we had to do was grocery shop (I was on the Clear liquids 24hrs before at that point). (Why she did the BOGO on the lettuce and left it for me I'll never know, but hey, my neighbors appreciated it.) She didn't stay at the hospital once I was out of surgery, didn't communicate to the family beyond that I was OK (she went shopping), and she flew out the morning after I got home. I had to drive myself to a doctor's appointment and had to go very slowly because I was still so shaky.

However, I'm so independent if it had gone differently we could have killed each other. I thought about what it would mean if she came, was honest about my fears (we have almost come to blows sharing the same roof before - she raised me to be very independent), and she was honest about her "not doing the hospital thing". It was what it was.

A friend who had surgery the week later was in the hospital with her family (husband and kids) and hadn't told her parents. Her husband ended up telling them for her. I was shocked. I was very open with everyone once my mind was made up - even on Facebook. But I was clear - if you weren't going to support me, please unfriend me now, that type of thing.

Good luck in dealing with your Mom, and I hope she comes through for you. And I think it's a toss up between coming with Cookies and trying to grocery shop on the way home for who's Mom is more oblivious!