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Not positive I should go thru with lap band



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Hi, my name is Rhonda and I am a mother of three from New Jersey. I have been seeing Dr. Pucci of Denville and have started the ball rolling on getting the lap band surgery. The truth is I am not sure I should go thru with it. I am very concerned about complications and I keep thinking that my kids would rather have a fat mother than no mother. I know that the lap band has fewer complicaitons (would not have considered bypass) and a very low mortality rate, but I am still concerned. Would appreciate any experiences (good or bad) you could share with me. Thanks to all and happy holidays!

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Hi Rhonda! We're probably neighbors, and I'd like to suggest you come to the Abkin/Bertha support group meeting on the 27th (next Wednesday) to meet a bunch of bandsters in person. No one can make your mind up for you, but talking to people who've had it done and are living with it is the best research you can possibly do.

Feel free to PM or e-mail me if you want information about the meeting.

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Hi, my name is Rhonda and I am a mother of three from New Jersey. I have been seeing Dr. Pucci of Denville and have started the ball rolling on getting the lap band surgery. The truth is I am not sure I should go thru with it. I am very concerned about complications and I keep thinking that my kids would rather have a fat mother than no mother. I know that the lap band has fewer complicaitons (would not have considered bypass) and a very low mortality rate, but I am still concerned. Would appreciate any experiences (good or bad) you could share with me. Thanks to all and happy holidays!

Hi Rhonda. It sounds like you are having pre-surgery jitters :) . The reality is that there are very few complications with the lap-band. Lap band is totally reversable and should you develope a serious complication (which is very rare), the band can be removed and everything goes back to the way it was. The most serious complications that I am aware of is slippage and erosion and again are not very common. There is nothing to worry about. To me the band did the opposite. My kids got their dad back. I am healthier and happier and can play with them a lot more than I could before the band. If I had kept going in the direction I was going before the band, I have no doubts I would not have been around long enough to see them grow up. Lap band and WLS is not for everyone, I understand that. Just know that if you decide its not for you, its not because you are worried about the complications. Good luck and let us know if you have any questions.:huggie:

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I certainly agree with ousooner. If you are worried that your kids might have "no mother," in my opinion it is the fat you should be worried about, not the lap band. I'm not looking forward to the surgery or the post-op liquid diet, that's for sure, but I am very grateful to get a real chance to recover from what I've done to myself.

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I am very concerned about complications and I keep thinking that my kids would rather have a fat mother than no mother. I know that the lap band has fewer complicaitons (would not have considered bypass) and a very low mortality rate, but I am still concerned. Would appreciate any experiences (good or bad) you could share with me.
Last I checked, there was never a death related directly to the lap-band. Fat is going to kill you before the band does.

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All good advise, and any kind of WLS is not to be taken lightly... It has taken me 1 year of hard soul searching for me to decide to do it.... but I want to be an active mom not the fat mom that has to sit on the sidelines while the normal sized moms put on that pair of rollerskates, play catch, or go down a waterslide with their kids....... I am THAT mom on the inside, but I'm quickly becoming the mom that just cant do it.......

Good luck with what ever you decide

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njmom, I will say that I would never advise someone who's uncertain to just go ahead and do it. To me, it's best to go in comitted and certain it's right for you. That doesn't mean you aren't scared, or aren't uncertain of what it will be like, but just absolutely secure in your decision that this is the right answer. LB is reversible, but removal requires another surgery and, if you're self-pay (and there's a good chance even if you aren't), more expense.

So it's probably not popular feedback, but I would say that if you're still uncertaina nd doubting, you probably shouldn't have the surgery. YET. Just give it some more time. More thought.

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I belive in information but at some point you need to commit. Make an informed decision and move on with life. I feel better today than yesterday.

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njmom, I will say that I would never advise someone who's uncertain to just go ahead and do it. To me, it's best to go in comitted and certain it's right for you. That doesn't mean you aren't scared, or aren't uncertain of what it will be like, but just absolutely secure in your decision that this is the right answer. LB is reversible, but removal requires another surgery and, if you're self-pay (and there's a good chance even if you aren't), more expense.

So it's probably not popular feedback, but I would say that if you're still uncertaina nd doubting, you probably shouldn't have the surgery. YET. Just give it some more time. More thought.

I agree with you, wholeheartedly, Wheetsin.

Although it's normal to have some pre-surgical jitters. It's vital that before you take on any WLS you must be absolutely sure that this is for you. You must be committed to the lifestyle changes required of you. I would highly recommend understanding the procedure, any potential complications and how to deal with them.

njmomof3, please do your research and if, for some reason you don't reach a reasonable level of comfort prior to your surgery maybe surgery isn't for you at this time. Talk to your doctor and your surgical team (such as dietians, nurses). Talk to other bandsters. Read about the procedure. Spend lots of time online, either here or other sites like this one. "Reasonable Level"=only you can decide that. Again, a certain amount of pre-surgical anxiety is normal.

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Hi Rhonda, I know this is a personal decision, but the lapband has very low minimal affects. I wouldn't trade my lapband for anything. Best of luck to you on your decision.

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NJMomof3,

I am using Dr. Pucci too. It took me a year to decide to do this but now I have a surgery date of January 15. I really wish I had gone for it last year instead of wasting a lot of time with what if's. Read through some of the postings on this site and even most of the ones that have problems seem to think it is still worthwhile.

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After you start to lose the fat, then it is time to say the same thing that you hear so many of us say. "I wish I had done this sooner" and if that does not make you feel better you can then Kick yoursely in that eversmaller ASS.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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