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Regret telling people at work



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I have been told by 3 people lately that I took the easy route by having the sleeve......There is nothing eay about changing your life to be a healthier you....The sleeve is a tool' date=' we have to do the work to succeed.....

I don't care what they think......down 116 lbs and counting.....Go girl go and take no prisoners...[/quote']

EXACTLY. It not "easy". But even if it was the "easy" route... So what. Who is trying to take the hard route through life??? When you have options, why not use them?

highest weight = 228 DOS = 219 CW = 203 DOS was May 7th 2013

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It seems like this procedure (or any WLS' date=' really) is the great litmus test for relationships. All kinds of relationships--family, friends, significant others, spouses, co-workers.

I look at it this way; if my connection to that person--or group of people--is so shaky that being sleeved will destroy it, am I really any worse off? Better to clear the negativity, and ditch the haters! I'll be thankful if my sleeve and the success it brings also helps me shake off anyone who isn't really who they claim to be in my life! Sometimes you gotta lift the rock to see the creepy crawlies underneath for what they really are. Rock that sleeve and let them choke on their jealousy.[/quote']

Very true. And the funny thing I that all of my real friends and family have been supportive. The most resistance I got was them thinking I wasn't "big" enough to have surgery. But once the decision was made they were all on board (at least to my face lol). But these co workers who I really don't care about or have personal relationships with have an opinion on my life and feel the need to share it with me. Meanwhile they all got together to send me a huge bouquet of flowers to the hospital. But you are right. They don't matter in the end anyway.

highest weight = 228 DOS = 219 CW = 203 DOS was May 7th 2013

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Makes you wonder...if someone needed a breast reduction medically, would these same haters tell that woman she's taking the easy route and to suck it up and carry those boulders around?

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Makes you wonder...if someone needed a breast reduction medically' date=' would these same haters tell that woman she's taking the easy route and to suck it up and carry those boulders around?[/quote']

Lol, exactly!!

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Lots of people have no Ida what it actually is. My mom thought they were going to cut out my fat! So I think a lot of the negative opinions are coming from a place of ignorance. People don't care to become less ignorant. Just look at all the scams that go around on Facebook or the unscientific arguments about climate change and pollution.

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Yeah I would say this is pretty true. My mom thought that they wrapped your stomach in a sleeve like material. Had to explain the whole surgery and she freaked out in me when I told her they cut most of your stomach out. She's ok now but that was a rough conversation...

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Lots of people have no Ida what it actually is. My mom thought they were going to cut out my fat! So I think a lot of the negative opinions are coming from a place of ignorance. People don't care to become less ignorant. Just look at all the scams that go around on Facebook or the unscientific arguments about climate change and pollution.

We are all agreed that your theory is crazy. The question that divides us is whether it is crazy enough to have a chance of being correct.

Niels Bohr, physicist

The often quoted phrase points out a human foible: judging the validity of arguments by the audacity of those who speak them. Degree of craziness is a ridiculous measure of truth but it sways ignorant people who judge not by content but by emotion and "instinct".

But then there are the multitudes who lash out at anything that disturbs their sleep. Thinking brings change, change requires energy and can bring pain or pleasure. Most are not willing to risk the effort.

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I understand the need for some people to be transparent, but not everyone needs to know your business. I decided to only tell my wife and my immediate family. My decision to have surgery was a decision between my family and I, and should have no impact on anyone else. My brother in law had wls surgery 6 weeks before me found that out the hard way, as he decided to tell everyone. He encountered some positive feedback and many others who decided to self appointed themselves to be his personal food police. Maybe I am old fashioned but not everyone needs to know every intimate detail of my life, like what I eat, drink or think every minute of the day. However, to each his/her own. More power to you if you feel the need to share such details of your life, but don't be surprised or upset if all feedback is not positive.

Sent from my iPad using VST

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I understand the need for some people to be transparent' date=' but not everyone needs to know your business. I decided to only tell my wife and my immediate family. My decision to have surgery was a decision between my family and I, and should have no impact on anyone else. My brother in law had wls surgery 6 weeks before me found that out the hard way, as he decided to tell everyone. He encountered some positive feedback and many others who decided to self appointed themselves to be his personal food police. Maybe I am old fashioned but not everyone needs to know every intimate detail of my life, like what I eat, drink or think every minute of the day. However, to each his/her own. More power to you if you feel the need to share such details of your life, but don't be surprised or upset if all feedback is not positive.

Sent from my iPad using VST[/quote']

I'm not surprised that the feedback isn't positive. I'm surprised that people have the audacity to voice it. Some opinions are better kept to yourself. For instance, I think my co workers husband is an a hole... But I'm not going to tell her that if she brings him up. I expect the same. And no I don't share every intimate detail of my life with everyone.

highest weight = 228 DOS = 219 CW = 201 DOS was May 7th 2013

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I think most people have no internal filter so whatever they think comes out their mouth. I'm sure we would all like "you did the right thing and I am proud of you", but that is not human nature as a whole. Maybe you are like me and don't share everything about your life but many do and are shocked when they don't get the response they want to hear. Maybe I'm just cynical and I expect people to say the wrong thing most of the time.

Sent from my iPad using VST

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I'm not surprised that the feedback isn't positive. I'm surprised that people have the audacity to voice it. Some opinions are better kept to yourself. For instance, I think my co workers husband is an a hole... But I'm not going to tell her that if she brings him up. I expect the same. And no I don't share every intimate detail of my life with everyone.

highest weight = 228 DOS = 219 CW = 201 DOS was May 7th 2013

(Minor nit-pick - if it's feedback, it is always voiced in some way - that's what feedback is, a loop. I think you may have meant opinion, possibly?)

I totally agree with your example - really, is it necessary or correct to provide every negative opinion you have whether it might be hurtful or not? I may think that pink is the most hideous color in the world on you, but if you are wearing a pink dress that you love, what purpose would it serve for me to tell you that? It's my opinion, and worth what most opinions are if you aren't a professional. If it serves no useful purpose, I try to keep my negative opinions to myself. I don't always succeed, but I do try!

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Unfortunately being tactful seems to be going the way of the VCR. A lot of people feel that they must voice their opinion no matter how hurtful. I guess society is not a PC as we have come to believe.

Sent from my iPad using VST

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Many folks employ the pre-adolescent level tactic of elevating themselves by lowering everyone else. Many people see the stupidity of this illusion and by age 13 cease to employ it. Others refine it to an art and end up in politics. <_<

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hi iontash,

I haven't told anyone hence the very reason why I haven't put a pic on here. i am a private person and I don't want people asking me a whole lot of questions that aren't any of their buasiness. I agree with you people do hate on you but who cares you are going to turn heads and they r going to really hate on you but you will get the last laugh!

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Honestly the very naysayers will see your sucess and start to think maybe this can work for.me. as much as they say negative things it might help that one person who realizes it helped so and so so it could help me. I know for me i never thought it was an option i struggled to lose the weight i saw two people have sucess and thats what got me thinking maybe it could work for.me.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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