Hey sleevers I have a situation with a co worker who started the process of getting sleeved the same time I did. We said we wouldn't tell anyone we were having it done. I got approved right away and Friday she tells me she was denied I said I was sorry to hear that and maybe she could appeal. She said its not fair I got approved and she didnt. I tried to understand her hurt and anger but told her well I have a bmi of 40 and a co morbidity and she has a bmi of 35 and no co morbidity. Well a little while ago someone just told me she is telling everyone I'm having the surgery. My instincts are telling me to ****** this b**** bald and rip her face off! Before I do that I want to handle this diplomatically. What should I do??? Or say????

I would confront her kindly and ask her why she feels the need to tell people when they two of you had an agreement. Then I would go with your idea as a back up.

"My instincts are telling me to ****** this b**** bald and rip her face off!!! LMAO!! Love it! but please don't do that. She is clearly bitter and sad. She put it out there, time to own it. And I would be sure to put it out there that she was going to have done but got denied, and that is the reason she is talking. Also, they know you are having surgery, but that is all they know. Don't share anything else. I drove them CRAZY at work lol!! I kept my answers so general that they wanted to do to me, what you described you wanted to do to her lol!!" How much did you lose? me: not enough or nothing so far" " You still look the same me: sucks right?!" THEY HATE that lol!!

Now that you know she can't be trusted, don't tell her anything. How stupid of her! Now instead of being part of your journey and learned through you, she has lost her greatest support and ally!!

The best revenge, is to let her watch you live her dream in silence:)

She is breaking your agreement out of bitterness. You are going to.have this great tool that she wants. Next time someone says something to you say, "did she tell you she is also having it, pending insurance approval?" I'm sure she is failing to mention that part of it. The best revenge will come down the road when you look fabulous and she is still bitter and has not lost any weight. In short, stay on the high-road.

I'm sorry she was denied. However, she probably knew that she would be (or had she read/asked about the insurance coverage policy) and was just hoping for the best.

Here is the thing. You cannot control what other people do, only your reaction to it.

While your first instinct is one that I bet most of can identify with, take the high road. I would ask her nicely to not blab your personal business to anyone, but if she persists, then this is not really someone you want as a friend. I realize she is a co-worker, but you can put some distance there and not associate with her anymore. if she is this angry and bitter about being denied, heaven help her when you start shedding the pounds and looking fabulous.

Thanks you everyone for the suggestion and support. I will let you know how it goes when I talk to her. If no one hears from me it means it didn't go well and I did have to ****** the b**** bald and rip her face off and need to be bailed out! LOL JK

You need to change your position on keeping it a secret. Once it´s out the mystery is gone and she can´t hurt you. Good luck with your journey.

Jealousy brings out the worst in people. Especially people who we thought were our friends but obviously aren't!

It's a shame that she retaliated against you unfairly and betrayed your confidence, especially motivated by bitterness and envy.

It is also a shame that many people on here are suggesting that you behave like her. Vengeful and retaliatory. Then you're no better than her.

I get your anger and hurt.

I've discovered that going directly to the person who has wronged you and calmly but directly calling them on it is the most effective way to deal with people. You will be holding up a mirror and she's going to see what she wants to see or she will see the truth. I don't envy her either result, although I'd rather see the truth and learn from it.

Don't justify reacting like her, because she did it first.

I would confront her kindly and ask her why she feels the need to tell people when they two of you had an agreement. Then I would go with your idea as a back up.

Please please don't do any thing that will land you in prison, by her telling every one that you have gotten a sleeve is very mean on here part, I know she is hurt about being unable to get the sleeve' but may I please pray for both of you; I also have had a sleeve and would do it again, do I want the world and my friend's to know (NO) but would I hurt someone behind it (NO) I can only pray that you were trying to be funny, again my pray's are with you both of you and please may you lose as much weight as you want.

(I was kidding. Not the first part, but the second.)

I wish you well! You have something she wants and once you get passed your initial mortification, you will only get better while she remains....a two faced, untrustable, bitter person with a mean spirit.

It's too bad that she was denied, but she was going to have the surgery too.. so what's the difference if she tells people...? She's bitter. I say, just do your thing, ROCK YOUR SLEEVE and you can still support her - in your skinny new body!!

Add on: With that said, it IS a very personal journey, so you don't have to talk about it with anyone that isn't 100% on your side. That's why we're all here!!!

The best revenge is to let her watch you loose the weight and keep it off. So what people know now many will support you and give you attention to you that she brought on. She has further alienated her self by betraying your trust. It's good to find out how she really is now. Later don't give her any more information about your Journey.

That s revenge enough.

Thanks again every one. I truly appreciate every ones input and concern. Please understand I have no intention of causing anyone bodily harm. I also dont feel anyone was telling me to cause her any harm. I apologize for the joke. I just need to vent it out

She sounds like a spiteful baby.

She's never going to keep her mouth shut, sadly. You might just want to get in front of it and tell people yourself. Once once person knows, then everyone does. I told a couple of people at work, and they told others - and these are people I thought I could trust. They are my closest work friends. They just don't see it as a big deal and are happy for me, and most people are out in the open about it. I learned the hard way the only way to keep a secret it to really keep it to yourself.