Ideas for what to tell people?

[Adglass 4]

The support I got was OVERWHELMING! I am so glad I told people. Even the ones with negative comments I am able to answer back and educate. Most people arent as overweight as I was and when I point out that 150 pounds overweight is much diifferent than 20 pounds over it gets them thinking. Im doing this for me and my family. Noone else so personally I dont care what others think!

[jacquelynn.mclean 103]

Only some of the people at my job know where I've been the last two weeks. You could just tell people diet and exercise and leave it at that. Or you can tell all of it, been a "sleeve evangelist" and talk about how great it is.

Either way, people are going to talk about you. It's just the nature of working with catty women. But whichever way you go, own it and be proud.

[Cat360 47]

I created a cover at work..bringing my Protein shakes during pre op to work and refusing to indulge in take out. Working out daily which i was semi vocal about. All things that are true. I wore the same clothes from before and yesterday i wore something more fitting and was complimented on how i looked. At the same time those same people whispered and acted weird about my healthier choices. This process is hard as it is but I couldnt bear people watching my every bite and using my surgery as an adjective to describe me!

A healthy lifestyle is my cover and it is working beautifully!

[Rosa 29]

When did it become a requirement to tell people all of your business? I think what we do with our own body is our own business. People have boob jobs all the time but I do not expect an explanation as to why their boobs look obviously perfect all of a sudden and I do not ask.

[devonmae 56]

I told everyone. I figured when i was off for 4-6 weeks and then started dropping pounds they would figure it out. I've had so much support and encouragement from family and co-workers. Plus a nurse and i had it done at the hospital i work at so it was nice to have some friends come visit me when i was recovering. It is everyone's perogative What they want to do but i knew if i told my friends at work eventually it would get to everyone so i told everyone when it came up.

[missyjoy2078 381]

All right. So I'm due back at work next week and I'm definitely ready to get out of the house!

My question is' date=' what did you guys tell people when you didn't want to reveal the real surgery?

I'm at a loss. Some coworkers can be inquisitive. I won't say "nosey" because they're all very nice, but I'm sure they'll ask where I've been for 3 weeks and notice the ~15 lbs lost!

My thoughts were to say something about stomach ulcers. Or maybe something about my PCOS. I DO have PCOS and that's a major cause of my weight gain, so it's not a huge lie.

And then part of me wants to just tell the truth... Worded in a way like "my PCOS was bad and my insulin was skyrocketing (all true!) so I had this surgery to help me lose weight and fix the issues."

I'm sure I'm worrying over nothing but was just interested in what you guys told others. I'm a "lightweight" so I feel like this may confuse some of them or even insult some of the ladies who are larger than me.

Any tips?[/quote']

I thought about saying that about the pcos. I have it as well and could not tolerate the medication so I choose this. Mostly because I didn't want people to think I'm taking the "easy" way out. As if cutting out 85% of your tummy is easy. But then I thought - what if there is someone else who asks who is considering it and I could talk I them about it or they know someone. After being honest with people I've actually had a lot of strangers who have had it reach out to me and have been great support.

Besides - I'm proud of myself for being able to finally do something to get myself healthy and stop this craziness. Plus I am recruiting shopping buddies for after! Best of luck to you.

[apelt001 116]

I believe honesty is the best policy, i work in a group whos pretty close so everyone was supportive. Yes they ask alot of questions and want to know what i eat and so forth. Just do what feels right, tell them or dont.

[Banned member 320]

Since I'm a slow loser I tell people that I've been watching my calories and portion sizes, which is true! I measure my food everyday. Most people wouldn't suspect that I've had surgery since the pounds aren't melting off but they do notice the healthy rate of weight loss and that's no different than my diet attempts. I don't feel the need to tell everyone because this is my health and not everyone is entitled to know every little thing about my life. When I was younger I felt like I had to be open and honest with everyone and now that I'm maturing, I realize that I am entitled to my privacy. In my case the pounds didn't just melt off without effort. I've been fighting for every single pound that I've lost and wls is only a TOOL. With this tool I can easily stay the same weight or gain but it's ME thats decided that I wanted to do what it takes to make it work.

[cinward2001 141]

I don't believe that we should necessarily blast our personal business to the world, but I hate the "just tell them you're watching your calories and exercising more" idea. Here's why...

When you've (anyone here!) struggled with your weight for years and years and you see someone *successfully* losing a lot of weight and keeping it off, do you ask them for advice? Maybe you think that they're doing something you haven't tried, because more than likely, YOU'VE tried the "eat less/exercise more" option, too...and it didn't work very well. If they've had WLS and just aren't willing to share that info, then you might even think that, somehow, you're doing it wrong (the eat less/exercise more idea) or just aren't strong enough or motivated enough.

I struggled with my weight for 20+ years. When I finally had LapBand surgery and lost 85 lbs, I honestly don't think it would have been fair to OTHER overweight people to LIE about the major TOOL that was helping me. It'd be like telling someone you changed a tire with a lot of sweat and hard work...without mentioning the car jack and lug wrench.

Obviously, everyone has to make their own choices in this, but my mama raised me to tell the truth...not just a partial truth or an "edited" version of it. So I say...either tell them nothing (say it's personal and you'd rather not talk about it) or tell them the truth.

[Banned member 320]

^^^ Majority of my friends are a healthy weight. I'm the fattest in the group and I don't feel like I owe it to them to be open and honest, heck they don't need the surgery. Other people that have noticed my weight loss are also at a healthy weight. It's not a lie to say that you are watching what you eat because most of us are. I'm in Colorado which is known as the healthiest state. There aren't too many heavy people around here. If an obese person asked me what I did I would tell them that I had surgery but the timing has to be right. I do have a friend who probably weighs about 350 pounds but I haven't mentioned to her that I've had surgery, heck I've only known her since March. She doesn't talk about weight or dieting and I don't want her to feel as if I'm judging her. Who knows, she may turn out to be one of those people dead set against surgery and here I just wasted my breath. Like I said earlier people aren't entitled to know everything that goes on in your/my life. If you want to be an open book, then so be it but that doesn't work for everyone. My business is mine and this reminds me of why I got rid of Facebook months ago because it was way too open and I didn't want everyone to know everything about me or what I'm doing. These people that come in and out of my life aren't entitled to know everything about me. They don't pay my bills or have any sort of bearing on my life, so it's up to me whether or not I share with them anything personal about myself. I never understood why people make such a huge deal about people wanting to keep it private. To each their own.

[Jen35 283]

I'm kind of on both sides of the fence on this. I didn't really want to tell many people, but at the same time, didn't want to lie. I decided to tell people who are close to me and I told my boss (wish I hadn't). I thought she would be supportive, but I get this vibe from her about this being "elective surgery". Well, I just found out I have a hernia they will be repairing along with the sleeve. I wish I would have just waited and told her it was hernia surgery (not a lie). So, as others have said, you can't take it back once it's out there and it is personal, medical information that is up to you to share as you want.

I am glad that I told friends and those closer to me. I don't want to lie to them and I need there support. There was only one reaction that suprised me. My sister has always been the thinner one, varying some, but significantly thinner than me. She has been gaining weight recently so that she is probably 210 or so pounds (but she's about 5'9 - much taller than me). As soon as I was approved for surgery, she started acting weird and started drastically dieting all of a sudden. It's clear to me that she is not okay with being the "fat" one once I start losing weight (but it's perfectly fine if I am the fat one). She has also made some hurtful comments. It's sad, because I've never been jealous of her being smaller and I always supported her when she lost weight. So be prepared to be suprised and/or disappointed by some people's reactions to the news.

[Amie 90]

I don't believe that we should necessarily blast our personal business to the world' date=' but I hate the "just tell them you're watching your calories and exercising more" idea. Here's why...

When you've (anyone here!) struggled with your weight for years and years and you see someone *successfully* losing a lot of weight and keeping it off, do you ask them for advice? Maybe you think that they're doing something you haven't tried, because more than likely, YOU'VE tried the "eat less/exercise more" option, too...and it didn't work very well. If they've had WLS and just aren't willing to share that info, then you might even think that, somehow, you're doing it wrong (the eat less/exercise more idea) or just aren't strong enough or motivated enough.

I struggled with my weight for 20+ years. When I finally had LapBand surgery and lost 85 lbs, I honestly don't think it would have been fair to OTHER overweight people to LIE about the major TOOL that was helping me. It'd be like telling someone you changed a tire with a lot of sweat and hard work...without mentioning the car jack and lug wrench.

Obviously, everyone has to make their own choices in this, but my mama raised me to tell the truth...not just a partial truth or an "edited" version of it. So I say...either tell them nothing (say it's personal and you'd rather not talk about it) or tell them the truth.[/quote']

I love this. One of the best explanations of the lie, "I'm losing the weight with diet and exercise". I had a good chuckle at changing a tire with sweat and hard work.

[Banned member 320]

I'm kind of on both sides of the fence on this. I didn't really want to tell many people, but at the same time, didn't want to lie. I decided to tell people who are close to me and I told my boss (wish I hadn't). I thought she would be supportive, but I get this vibe from her about this being "elective surgery". Well, I just found out I have a hernia they will be repairing along with the sleeve. I wish I would have just waited and told her it was hernia surgery (not a lie). So, as others have said, you can't take it back once it's out there and it is personal, medical information that is up to you to share as you want.

I am glad that I told friends and those closer to me. I don't want to lie to them and I need there support. There was only one reaction that suprised me. My sister has always been the thinner one, varying some, but significantly thinner than me. She has been gaining weight recently so that she is probably 210 or so pounds (but she's about 5'9 - much taller than me). As soon as I was approved for surgery, she started acting weird and started drastically dieting all of a sudden. It's clear to me that she is not okay with being the "fat" one once I start losing weight (but it's perfectly fine if I am the fat one). She has also made some hurtful comments. It's sad, because I've never been jealous of her being smaller and I always supported her when she lost weight. So be prepared to be suprised and/or disappointed by some people's reactions to the news.

Same thing with me and my sister. I think my sister weighs about 210ish pounds. I haven't seen her in years though but she was upset that I was getting surgery. I think my mom was upset also because she's gained and probably weighs about 180 pounds. It started a lot of unnecessary drama and like you said "once it's out there, there's no taking it back". I'm sure my whole family knows since they like to gossip a lot but they live way in Maryland so it doesn't bother me. I have gotten support from close friends that I told. I also had a aunt who had RNY surgery back in 2005 and she lost a ton of weight but that's ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT! People get so damn tired of hearing about her surgery and how she can only eat so much yada yada. Her surgery is her life and most people would much rather talk about something other than that. Some of the people who tell everyone, it makes me wonder if they are like my aunt and just wont shut up about it. When I''m out with my friends we all mostly talk about our husbands and kids. I've just always been one of those people who didn't like to talk about myself. I'm more of a listener.

ETA:I have a lot of military wives who I have met over the years and they know that I've had surgery. Most of the wives that I know here where we are stationed, don't know that I've had surgery but the ones that do have also had surgery. As far as telling the other wives, who are all skinny......nope!. Plus they wouldn't want to talk about something as boring as my weight or how I'm losing. WLS just never comes up in conversation, nor does it feel appropriate for me to blab it out. I also don't go around showing people my before pics. I guess if I did i would have to explain how I lost the weight. I'm sure people see that I'm losing weight but they don't say anything. Once we get stationed some where else and have to meet all new people, they may just assume that I'm naturally thin. I've only had one person ask me how I've lost the weight and I told her about my surgery but other than that most people just ask me if I've lost weight and I say yeah.......and that's the end of it. They don't ask me how, nor do they care.

[Stayfitstayhealthyd2 1]

I think it s very personal stuff that one must nt tell ny1 other than family members...i said 2 eveyone dt i had a cyst in my stomach so i had to get it operated.and trust me the society we live in has narrow minded ppl who cn spread a wrd like fire all around...its better to disgest it wodon urself fr life...n hnestly u shuld nt care wt others think abt u...ppl r meant to tok...once dey stop toking 2 u dey start toking abt u...!!!very true fact!!!

[Museum-Mama 196]

I am doing a modified version of the truth. Since I am having my gallbladder and stomach repaired at the same time, that is all I am telling them. My coworkers have known that I have had tummy troubles for several years now, and so are aware that I am having some surgery. Since I work with a lot of volunteers, they don't really know. So, that's the story they are getting!