Keeping it a secret

[lorry66 15]

I've been noticing that a lot of people keep their surgery a secret to the point where they won't even post pictures on here. It honestly makes me a little sad for them. Getting this surgery is one of the most exciting experiences for me and I can't imagine keeping it a secret. How can you not tell anyone?! No friends and not even some of your family. Like how is it possible to even keep it from your children? If any of you are in this situation I would definitely like some insight as to why you have made that decision. I'm definitely not trying to judge' date=' just trying to wrap my head around how you've managed and why you made the decision. Thanks! [/quote']

Due to my field of work I cannot post any pictures of myself on any social website ,that's my reason.

[swimmom 124]

I haven't posted pictures yet because I am lazy about it .

I have told close friends and relatives. My children and husband have been with me every step of the way, and I have been very honest with my children. I have struggled with my weight my entire life - started doing Weight Watchers for the first time when I was 10 years old. Since then, it has been a roller coaster of weight loss programs, camps, diets, starving myself, becoming obsessed with exercise - you name it, I have probably done it at one point or another. My Dad and brother have also struggled with their weight - it is a genetic tendency. Therefore, I want my children (who are normally-weighted at the moment, thanks to the fact that they are very active on swim team) to be in the loop about the struggles AND healthy ways to deal with obesity. I look at it like managing any chronic health condition - diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. - and in this case, there is surgery available to help me keep things in check. The surgery doesn't replace hard work, and lifestyle changes. I want my kids to know that - and to see it in action. In terms of other people, I have mentioned it in passing on Facebook. And yes, I received one very opinionated, strong negative response from someone I haven't seen since high school. I simply unsubscribed to her. Other than that, the support has been phenomenal. What I have found MORE interesting is the number of friends that are CURIOUS about what I have done because they have secretly considered it, but never told anyone and have not know anyone who has actually had WLS. They want to know the whole scoop. I hope that my experience can help them with important decisions.

[tempname123 37]

I've been noticing that a lot of people keep their surgery a secret to the point where they won't even post pictures on here. It honestly makes me a little sad for them. Getting this surgery is one of the most exciting experiences for me and I can't imagine keeping it a secret. How can you not tell anyone?! No friends and not even some of your family. Like how is it possible to even keep it from your children? If any of you are in this situation I would definitely like some insight as to why you have made that decision. I'm definitely not trying to judge' date=' just trying to wrap my head around how you've managed and why you made the decision. Thanks! <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote']

I'm not sure about people on here, but I had an in law who had wls and when people found out all they did was throw daggers of fire at her and called her names.

[Nuchnuch 120]

I think posting a pic of yourself is a personal preference, but as far as telling people, I know that there have been several people who work for the same company I do, I know they have had the surgery but want to blow it off to I am just following a really strict diet. I mean, to each his own, but when people have fought there weight all their life, including myself and then want to come off like all of a sudden they are the poster child for "will power" I think it is ridiculous IMHO.

[tempname123 37]

I myself am not even a week post op. I did take before pics and I'll take after pics. I have only told my husband (obviously) and my children. My cousin who I'm very close to, she was going to get the bypass, my sister whom I adopted as my daughter (she's significantly younger) and my aunt (godmother) because she had the same surgery in the 80s. My husbands family is dying to know why I was in the hospital and what I had surgery for. But if they know, it's like posting it in a nationwide newspaper. And considering how awful they were to an in law of mine (there own family) they would be worse. When my 7yr old had skull surgery at 6months old, first they tried to blame me for her having saggital synotosis and then half of them pretty much disowned me and our daughter for allowing her to have the surgery. Yet she's healthy normal and fine. Same crap happened with my 14yr old when I let her have surgery to remove a horrific bunion that became worse when she went on a growth spurt last year.

Considering I've not always been heavy and I've lost weight, significant weight in the past, I don't think it'll bring anything of it. However, I have only told the same select people about other surgeries like hysterectomy, laproscopic endometrial tissue removal, etc. I'm an extremely private person and I don't tell many people things cause frankly, it's not their business. Plus, I don't need to hear anyone's opinions or thoughts. Self esteem is low enough right now. I have my husbands and children's support and my fathers families support. (Can't tell mothers side they are just as bad as in laws). That's all the support I need. Maybe if the gossipers didn't talk crap and gossip they would be in the loop, but they get what they deserve (to be out of the loop).

[MystiGal 143]

I have also decided to keep this private, other than telling my daughter and my mom. Personally, I am ashamed that I had to resort to weight loss surgery, but again, that is JUST ME. This is not something I want to "shout from the rooftops"

[Sleeved&Fabulous 7]

Who cares what people say or think ! I'm very open about my sleeve whoever asks how I lost weight I tell them . Idgaf

Lol...I like your attitude about it! I'm pretty open about it to. If people ask how I'm doing it, I tell them. I've been lucky to not have many negative comments given about my decision but I could care less what people think. At the end of the day, we do this for ourselves and it has nothing to do with anyone else. We are in control of our own bodies and what we want to do with it. If you support me, great! If not, then too bad. I also want to be open about it because I want people to see how it works if they've been contemplating on doing the same thing. I would love to be that driving factor or inspiration for someone else. That would probably be one of the best feelings!

[Shelle 11]

I am presleeve and have chosen to keep it between me and my husband and best friend for now. I will probably tell my grown children when I get a surgery date but my husband really doesn't want to let them know. He doesn't want them worrying about me. He thinks we can tell them afterwards. I know if they find out later they will feel hurt. I'm sure my kids will be supportive and understanding and I will feel guilty not telling them prior to the surgery. I have time to get my husband to my way of thinking..I hope.

Now my parents, brothers and hubbies sister, I have no problem with keeping it a secret from. I rarely see them because they don't live nearby so it would not be hard to do. My brother just older than me is very judgmental when it comes to Weight loss. He used to be 350 lb in high school and lost it on his own and pretty well kept it off since 1978. He sees no reason why anyone should have surgery for it. My parents live with him so that is why I hesitate letting them know since they would likely wind up telling him.

I am self employed from home so there are no co-workers to tell.

[Dawnyellow 80]

I am pre-sleeve and am keeping it quiet because I don't want attention. I've told my husband and that's it for now. I will revisit the idea of sharing it with family and friends after its done and I can't be talked out of it. I don't think I will tell coworkers. I don't know if I'm ready to open up the topic of my weight/health.

[Jiggly Puff 53]

Long story short, I'm a divorced single mom of one and I come from a large, close knit family. However, they have almost disowned me over this. The backlash has been awful. We are all barely speaking to each other. I'm all alone and I have zero support. I almost regret telling them. But in a way, I wouldn't have felt right keeping it a secret either. But now I just have to suffer in silence or be happy in silence. This forum is all I have to help me through this. Which I am grateful for.

[mandyrenee82 59]

My hubby, mom and dad and siblings plus a good friend that used to be my preacher before I moved from my hometown knows. I didn't tell my parents until a month before my surgery. My dad was against it at first because his mom had her stomach stapled whenever it first came out like in the late 60s or 70s. Idk which. She didn't lose any weight from it and totally went against drs orders. So it was her fault not the surgery although technology has improved since then.

The reason I chose to have this done was because I had blood work and my kidney function was slightly elevated. It has been since childhood. I had an ultrasound done and my kidneys are way too small for my weight and age. Nephrologist said lose weight and mentioned wls or i'd be looking at dialysis before I'm 45. Im 30. Scared the crap outta me. I explained this to my dad and he accepted it. (my Grandma-his mom died on dialysis) Looked into it and after I went through the 6 month process, had sleeve on 4/16. My Lost 60 pounds in less than a month. I've done it for me and my health. I haven't weighed myself in awhile though. That scale is evil!'

Reason I kept it only between my immediate family and former preacher and me is because I didn't want people to think I took the easy way out. Or that I was an attention seeker. Plain and simple, it's nobodies damn business. Anyhow when I went to visit my family on Memorial Day, someone close to my family saw me out and immediately called my mom and said "I think Mandy is on drugs. She's lost a lot of weight since Easter". (Last time I was home). Mom told her to get a life. And if it mattered to her, I was doing weight watchers. And also told her to mind her own business that she knew better that I wouldn't do drugs. So word around my hometown now is that I'm on drugs. LMAO. Let them think what they will. They ain't getting the truth from anyone. Small towns can be the worst sometimes.

Pleased to tell that I haven't taken a shot of insulin since surgery and cut my bp meds in half. Just wish this gout attack would disappear so I can exercise more.

[mandyrenee82 59]

PS. I was going to keep it from my immediate family but I kept thinking what if something went wrong during surgery and I died or had severe complications. They would've killed my husband for not telling them. And I wouldn't have got to tell them how much I loved them before they wheeled me off to surgery. I'm a big softie. Family is my everything.

[TES 858]

Thank you all for your responses. It's quite ironic that I just posted this last night and then today I had my first negative opinion from someone about the surgery. Now I definitely understand the choice to keep it private. Not to mention it was a close family member and he was very adamant about getting his point across that he thinks the surgery is completely ridiculous and I need to just get off my "lazy a** and work out". I was literally speechless. It hurt to hear him say that because I do get off my "lazy a**", I work 3 jobs and am also in college. I wanted to just say "thanks for the input but F off!!".

I think that probably gave you greater insight into people keeping this private than any response here can! Also, the more people you tell, be prepared for questions every other day about how much you've lost so far--which can be frustrating if you are in a stall. Again, a totally personal decision, but I have kept mine private other than a few people and am sooo glad that I did.

[junebug38 13]

Best of luck to you

[NoneYa 380]

Long story short, I'm a divorced single mom of one and I come from a large, close knit family. However, they have almost disowned me over this. The backlash has been awful. We are all barely speaking to each other. I'm all alone and I have zero support. I almost regret telling them. But in a way, I wouldn't have felt right keeping it a secret either. But now I just have to suffer in silence or be happy in silence. This forum is all I have to help me through this. Which I am grateful for.

I'm so sorry you're having a tough time of it.