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Keeping it a secret



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I've been noticing that a lot of people keep their surgery a secret to the point where they won't even post pictures on here. It honestly makes me a little sad for them. Getting this surgery is one of the most exciting experiences for me and I can't imagine keeping it a secret. How can you not tell anyone?! No friends and not even some of your family. Like how is it possible to even keep it from your children? If any of you are in this situation I would definitely like some insight as to why you have made that decision. I'm definitely not trying to judge, just trying to wrap my head around how you've managed and why you made the decision. Thanks! :)

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I have chosen to keep my surgery private for many reasons. First, I had been successful in the past losing it on my own. Due to an injury, I am no longer able to be successful. I want no one to know I had wls. As far as my losing, people think I am just doing Weight Watchers again (which I do go weekly for support and weigh in) and doing more exercise-wise than what I have been able the past few years (which I am). I am single with no kids...so that is no problem for me to keep it private! I haven't told my parents, siblings, coworkers, friends, etc etc which was tough at the beginning; it is easier as I am able to eat more normal things as time goes on (I am 7 wks out)...I am very embarassed & ashamed that I had gotten so weak and so addicted that I felt wls was my only option, which it was only my only option because of my permanent injury; I can no longer work out like I did in the past to lose weight, or I would have never ever had wls. My weight was over 300; I did not want to become bedfast and dependent on others like I did when I was first injured. I know many people are very proud of their wls decision & shout it from the rooftops; I am happy it works for me to be that way. It just can't work for me with a single soul knowing about this. My dr/nurses/nut know...and this webiste...and that is enough for me.

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They're a quite a few threads that cover this topic. Just use the search bar and many will come up. It a personal choice just like many thing in life are.

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I've been noticing that a lot of people keep their surgery a secret to the point where they won't even post pictures on here. It honestly makes me a little sad for them. )

Just wanted to say I have chosen not to repost my pic because I received some unwanted sexually suggestive PM's when my pic was posted. I did not take take down my pic due to a privacy issue. IMHO you can never know someone's motivation unless they share it with you.

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Just wanted to say I have chosen not to repost my pic because I received some unwanted sexually suggestive PM's when my pic was posted. I did not take take down my pic due to a privacy issue. IMHO you can never know someone's motivation unless they share it with you.

Wow! Some people. I guess I am not surprised. Still.. Wow

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Just wanted to say I have chosen not to repost my pic because I received some unwanted sexually suggestive PM's when my pic was posted. I did not take take down my pic due to a privacy issue. IMHO you can never know someone's motivation unless they share it with you.

Wow, that is concerning. I hope you have shared with Alex or the moderators. This site has been a secure location for support and education. Creative food, expressing concerns and meeting people who support and share in accomplishments. I am sad, you received the PM's

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The reason I didn't tell anyone (other than my sister) is because by nature I'm a very private person. I had another health issue a few years ago and I decided to handle privately as well. I consider wls similar to a medical condition I needed to make a decision on. Telling everyone about it would have opened the door for so many opinions. I didn't want anyone's opinion other than the professionals.

I'm also single with no children. Work wise I manage most my work remotely - so there isn't a lot of face to face interactions with my coworkers and clients.

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Thank you all for your responses. It's quite ironic that I just posted this last night and then today I had my first negative opinion from someone about the surgery. Now I definitely understand the choice to keep it private. Not to mention it was a close family member and he was very adamant about getting his point across that he thinks the surgery is completely ridiculous and I need to just get off my "lazy a** and work out". I was literally speechless. It hurt to hear him say that because I do get off my "lazy a**", I work 3 jobs and am also in college. I wanted to just say "thanks for the input but F off!!".

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Please don't let such negative opinions get to you or change your mind. :-)

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It really isn't anyone's business. I didn't disclose my wisdom teeth surgery, nor my colonoscopy or scoping of my left knee. I tend to keep my medical business to myself. I really don't care what people say or think. I've been a fat ass for so long, there's nothing that I haven't heard or overheard. People are going to say or do what they will. I didn't have the surgery to lose weight, I had the surgery to get healthy. I am a pro at losing weight, and have done so about 10 times. Keeping it off, meh... If people can't or don't want to understand and except that, they certainly can kiss my slowly shrinking posterior.

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Who cares what people say or think ! I'm very open about my sleeve :) whoever asks how I lost weight I tell them . Idgaf

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My whole family know but at work I only tod a few people I am close to. Then I thought this is crazy. I'm not ashamed that I needed help. I knew there would be questions when I returned to work so I've been very open about what I was doing and why. Most at work were supportive but a few gave me that stopping eating and exercise attitude. I could care less. I go back to work next Friday and can't wait to show offyuch thinner self!

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I am keeping my surgery partially secret. My DH knows, my in-laws will be told AFTER the surgery (because I am going to Mexico and I don't want to "hear it" beforehand), my kids know and my close friends know. However, I do not think it is my coworkers' business. It will tick me off to be told that I am "taking the easy way out." I don't want to hear about my decision on where to have my surgery, either. I have to be professional at the office and that can be hard to do when you are seriously **ssed off at folks spouting critical nonsense when they don't know what they are talking about.

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My kids are really young, and I don't want to make them obsessive about their weight and food. I am just feeding them healthy food and modeling exercise for now. When they are older I will share it with them. They are also boys (11,7,5, and 3). My two oldest would CONSTANTLY worry about me.

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I'll also tell more people after I've lost the weight. I don't need the pressure, or people constantly asking how much I've lost.....I'm especially glad during my current stall!

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    • Doughgurl

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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