I am getting scared and anxious . I am afraid of my inability to have what I want..

I had surgery on 11-13-12

In the states, California to be exact.

But surgery is surgery no matter where you go

I am five months out and down 58 pounds

SW: 235

CW: 177

not the biggest or fastest loser, but getting there nonetheless

It's ironic isn't it? We want this surgery for many reasons including making ourselves unable to eat too much or compulsively, then we get apprehensive and even angry about it after we get what we asked for. Just human nature I guess. I remember immediately post op I would see someone eating something that I wanted. I secretly hoped they choked on it. Then the self pity set in and I just felt like I would never smile again. But I did. It is indeed a rocky road to get to the acceptance stage and finally contentment or happiness..

By all means prepare yourself for an emotional journey. It'll be ok though. You will run thru every emotion imaginable and finally come to terms with it. And by then you will be looking at girl in the mirror who seems to be shrinking before your eyes:)

I feel like that is awesome .. congrats

Hi sharonintx .. I am in tx also panhandle to be exact .. that is exactly what I am thinking and I am angry with me that I do not have the willl power to do.it on my.own

Yeah me too. I wonder why it had to come to this for me to maintain any weight loss I ever had. Thinking of all the times I lost it only to have it come back plus some. Why wasn't I strong enough to make it on my own? I just don't know. Before the surgery I was angry with myself and disgusted at the same time. Right after surgery I was a little mad too. It has taken several weeks for me to get a grip. Now I understand that I wasn't disgusting after all, just an emotional eater and genetically predisposed to obesity. You should see my father's side of the family! Good lord its like a fat-o-rama with those people.

You'll make it Molly I promise. The 1st few weeks are the biggest adjustment and oh what an adjustment it is. You'll get thru it just fine and come out with a better understanding of yourself. It really is a journey. A journey of losing weight and also of digging real deep emotionally and finding out what you are made of. Don't be afraid of who you'll uncover. She is strong, healthy, and beautiful:)