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Scared? Why am I doubting myself?



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Hello everyone! I just recently found this site and what great information!!

I contemplated band vs sleeve last year but then had to have 2 foot surgeries, so weight loss was put on the back burner. Here I am now, plus about 10 lbs, thinking about it again. I've already had a consult with one dr and going to another next week. I keep doubting myself though for some reason, maybe I can try to lose weight on my own (even though I've tried tons of times over the last 12 years!), maybe this is too drastic, etc. Obviously if we could all lose weight on our own, we would. So I'm thinking I'm just second guessing myself now? I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about a year ago and now with the meds I'm on, my weight just keeps going up and no matter what do, I can't lose weight! Anyone have words of wisdom or encouragement? Of course I'm scared of the surgery itself and the pain and post op issues. But I'm hoping that I can get in the right frame of mind to convince myself that this is the right thing to do and stop second guessing myself! Be happy with my decision & look forward to a healthier life. Can someone help me get there? Is this a normal feeling at this stage? Thank you so much in advance!!

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I am right there with you. I first visited doctors in January 2012.. but thought i'll give it one last go to lose weight, only now I'm 10 lbs heavier. Just today, I committed to surgery on April 30th. I"m scared out of my mind, but after 1+ year of research, i'm going for it.

I've spent 35 years fat and unhappy - so I'm going for it. There are no guarantees in life. Most people seem to have a great experience, but a few have had problems, but I'm only 35 BMI, so hopefully I won't have any.

I think everyone is scared - i think there would be something wrong with you if you weren't.

There is no going back after having 80% of your stomach cut out !

Hang in there, Daniel

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Thats normal! Of course we'd all opt to do it on our own if we could...but even if we did (& I have before) we gain it back! This is a tool for life! I just wish I'd done it sooner!!

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I did the same thing 3 times .... on the 3rd go around I said that is it! Time for the surgery.... it was the best decision I have ever made.... It is normal to have fears and concerns.... We all have them...... I hope the best for you. This tool can change you life... It has mine! Best Wishes

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I think you should try everything before committing to the surgery. That way, all doubts are removed. i did last ditch try at things i had failed at before - weight watchers, nutrisystems, that hormone drops thing and seeing a counselor. I even visited an eating disorders clinic...lol. Wow, between that combo I think I gained net about 20 pounds.

The sleeve has changed my life in a way that none of those could help me with.

It has still been work. I took all that dedication I poured into every crazy ass diet or program I ever tried and applied it to my life as a sleever and it has been awesome. I feel like a whole new woman. Well really, I am about half the woman I once was. :)

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I was scared off & on up until the day before surgery. What helped me was journaling ALOT about all the diets I had tried, how they worked for me, and all the reasons I wanted to lose weight. Every time I would start to get scared, I'd pull out my list and read it and sometimes add to it.

All I can tell you is it was the best thing I have ever done for myself. I am so glad I went through with it. Best decision of my life.

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Well thank you for the encouragement. I've definitely tried everything out there and should probably own stock in some of the companies that I spent so much money with! <_<

I really think that it's just scary coming to the realization that this is NOT going to happen alone. I'm also not 21 years old anymore where I can be on a diet and lose 15 lbs in a few weeks and be happy. Boy those were the days! Many many years later and MANY pounds later, the weight is harder and harder to lose. I've also realized that it gets easier to give up when you've tried so many different things.

Thanks again for the comments, I'm going to wrap my brain around this and get ready for my next consult and be ready to go!

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I am due for surgery on 4/30/13~~let me tell you I have been talking back and forth to myself like I am 2 people! 1 day is good and I'm all set and ready the next is crying like baby crying because I will be different for the rest of my life, thinking I will end up with every complication known to man.

It is not an easy decision and then I remember all the reasons that brought me to where I am. I never had a weight problem until my 40's and then BANG~~100 lbs found me and stayed throughout exercise and diet and more exercise. Portion Control was another problem I found I developed.

So here I am 6 days out, petrified in one hand and trying to be excited in the other. I pray for sleep apnea to disappear along with the GERD and aches in my knees and learn to be able to just want to walk without hurting. I am only 5'2" and weigh 223lbs. I am hoping for good results and hoping to just feel good about me!

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I am due for surgery on 4/30/13~~let me tell you I have been talking back and forth to myself like I am 2 people! 1 day is good and I'm all set and ready the next is crying like baby crying because I will be different for the rest of my life' date=' thinking I will end up with every complication known to man.

It is not an easy decision and then I remember all the reasons that brought me to where I am. I never had a weight problem until my 40's and then BANG~~100 lbs found me and stayed throughout exercise and diet and more exercise. Portion Control was another problem I found I developed.

So here I am 6 days out, petrified in one hand and trying to be excited in the other. I pray for sleep apnea to disappear along with the GERD and aches in my knees and learn to be able to just want to walk without hurting. I am only 5'2" and weigh 223lbs. I am hoping for good results and hoping to just feel good about me![/quote']

I felt the exact same way! Second guessing myself and being nervous and excited all in the same thought! I just knew I didn't want to spend the rest of my life not living so I went for it and tomorrow is 2 weeks post op and I've lost 10lbs! Crazy how even that little amount makes you feel better!!!!!! Good luck!

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Hello everyone! I just recently found this site and what great information!!

I contemplated band vs sleeve last year but then had to have 2 foot surgeries, so weight loss was put on the back burner. Here I am now, plus about 10 lbs, thinking about it again. I've already had a consult with one dr and going to another next week. I keep doubting myself though for some reason, maybe I can try to lose weight on my own (even though I've tried tons of times over the last 12 years!), maybe this is too drastic, etc. Obviously if we could all lose weight on our own, we would. So I'm thinking I'm just second guessing myself now? I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about a year ago and now with the meds I'm on, my weight just keeps going up and no matter what do, I can't lose weight! Anyone have words of wisdom or encouragement? Of course I'm scared of the surgery itself and the pain and post op issues. But I'm hoping that I can get in the right frame of mind to convince myself that this is the right thing to do and stop second guessing myself! Be happy with my decision & look forward to a healthier life. Can someone help me get there? Is this a normal feeling at this stage? Thank you so much in advance!!

You're doubting yourself because after years of failed attempts, this is what we do. We doubt, or in MY case, obsess about it working 'this time'. It will, when 85% of your tummy is removed, unless you make an effort at failing, you will lose weight!!! I promise you. All of us worry, I had surgery June 2010, I've been maintaining for over two years now and I STILL worry. For me, this has been easy. I had no health issues and was healthy, so I'm sure that helped, but pain was no big deal. After being discharge I only took pain meds before bed and only for ten days. I took liquid Tylenol and used a heating pad during the day!! Turning over in bed hurt, so the pain medication took the edge off. I can tell you, what did hurt is a sneeze, cough or if someone makes you laugh, that lasts for a week or so, but it is nothing really. I was excited from the moment I woke up in recovery. A new adventure, I've loved every minute of it. I'd read in a forum that a neat thing to do is go buy a disposable camera.....have someone take a picture of you the night before surgery or the morning of....then take a picture every month on your 'date' for a year. After you take the one on your 1 yr anniversary, go have the camera developed. There is NOTHING like laying out those pictures, side by side and seeing the transformation. It is truly amazing, do it!!! I too lost weight, I lost the same 50 lbs three times in 30 years and lesser amounts more times than I can remember. I did everything from Weight Watchers to Phen/Fen. I can LOSE weight, that is not the problem, in later years, not as easily though. It is keeping it off that is practically impossible. Once you go off the diet, then you gain. Now I am NOT on a diet. I feel like I eat like a naturally thin person. I'm still obsessed with food, with making good choices. I eat sweets and other things, but rather than over doing it, I have a normal piece of cake and it is not what I do real often. Life is good, it's a wild ride, and oh-so-fun!!!!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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