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Family thinks my surgery will "ruin" Christmas



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My extended family (parents, siblings etc) are all getting together this Christmas and they worry that my having surgery on Dec 18 will mean Christmas will be difficult for everyone. They are getting this idea because my Dad had major back surgery in September and was pretty much recliner chair-ridden for a month. he needed help with EVERYthing and the pain meds pretty much knocked him out most of the time. I'm trying to assure everybody that though slightly less mobile (I am less mobile anyway because of my excess weight) that I will be in good spirits and getting around. I will, right? I mean, I don't want to lie to them but maybe it will take me awhile to recover. Still I my husband will be around that week to help me out- but I don't wnat to ruin anyone's holiday.

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Hi,

I had my surgery on Monday and took my kids to the park today to ride their bikes. My husband did all the lifting but I did plenty of walking, laughing and enjoying the day. I do get tired faster but I sit and rest.

I think you will be okay. Have a Merry Christmas!

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I was walking around downtown TJ shopping the day after my surgery. You will be fine, the pain is minimal, the worst you may have is gas pains, and not able to enjoy a full Christmas dinner, I had my surgery right before Easter, so Easter dinner was a drag I was on liquids but as far as being mobile physically I was in great shape. but mentally I just missed the food :(

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PLEASE don't let your family make you feel bad about your decision. I have three small children and I took care of them completely on my own 5 days after being banded. My incision sites were a bit sore but other than that, I was fine. Only my hubby even knew I had surgery.

I also went to a 50th bday party at a family style resteraunt 10 days after surgery. You should be fine. Go ahead with your decision to change the rest of your life for the better.

Good luck and have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! This could very well be the best gift you will ever give to yourself and to your family!!

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By the 25th, the only person who will know you've had surgery is you! I was banded on November 20th (Thanksgiving week) and was able to prepare the entire Thanksgiving dinner to include Desserts even though I was on liquids and not allowed to eat any of it! However, My DH and my DD did do all the lifting.

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Hi! Congratulations on your decision to have lbs! What a Christmas present to yourself and your family. I went back to work 3 days after surgery 1/2 day - I think you will be fine. Try to get all of your gifts wrapped and all those last minute details done ahead of time so you are not worried about it. Hopefully you can have some Egg Nog, Egg nog protien shakes, hot ciders/ Decaf tea/ hot chocolate and broth Soups - plan ahead for this so you don't feel deprived with all of that food around. You'll do great!!

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A week after my surgery I couldn't even tell I had surgery. Other than the swelling in my belly.

Personally, I think they are being selfish. You need to do this for you. You will be fine. You may be moving a little slow, but you won't need help from anyone.

Be sure and post after Christmas and tell us how they reacted to your great mobility.

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I will have my surgery on Dec. 17. So, by Christmas eve, one week later, I was wondering what kind of liquids people will be having?

Thanks,Audree

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By a week after surgery I was doing much better than the first few days. I went to a wedding exactly a week after and I was ok...the only problem I had was sitting for a long time hurt my incisions. You will have a great Christmas!

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Very encouraging! Thank you all, and thanks Kimberly for the great ideas on what to have. I will just keep reassuring them all that I will be fine. I agree though, this is a Christmas gift to myself I have been looking forward to for a long time. There really is nothing else anyone could get me this year that I will appreciate more!!!!

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I too will be having surgery onthe 18th and I share your fears about recovery. It actually was a about a week ago that I realized just how close that is to Christmas. I just plan to have as much done these next 2 weeks as possible and to take help from my DH when I can get it. I hope I am up and about without complications.

I like what you all are saying about this being a good gift to ourselves. I hadn't thought about that. I haven't told many and I was concerned about looking funny not eating at the in-laws (sit down meal) and sipping my liquids, but DH had a good idea that I just say I have a sore throat. Wish I had thought of that!

Good luck to you...I will be thinking of you.

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MyPov...I havent' read this thread...just the title. It cracked me up. So taking care of your health is going to ruin Christmas for everyone! Just shows you how food involved we are! I got banded just before Thanksgiving, and although no one said it outright, several enablers in my family were anxious about my timing. My mother wouldn't include me in food prep or even planning because "you won't be participating anyway". In what??? In being with family? In great conversation? I had actually planned to bring turkey baby food to the table, but instead, we cooked some veges alot longer for me, and mushed up a tiny bit of turkey, and I nibbled along and had a great time talking with everybody. Shoot, by the 25th, all you'll need to be careful of is little kids jumping in your lap and pounding on your tummy!

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You will be up and running full speed by Christmas. I was doing all of my usual household stuff on day 4 and riding 4 wheelers all day on day 8. You'll be great and dont let anyone bust your bubble. Have a wonderful surgery and I'll be thinking about you.

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mypov, you will be okay. You shouldn't be very sore or anything. Just make sure you follow the doctors diet and don't eat what you aren't suppose to. Good luck.

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Being very newly banded didnt ruin my Christmas at all. And bully for your family anyway, its not about them, its about you. How rude!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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