Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

So worried about my aunt :(



Recommended Posts

So my aunt is turning 36. She is obese but also has a lot of health issues. She had a blood clot in her leg a while back and her legs swell up SO bad all the time like she can't wear regular boots that cover her calf she has to cut the backs.. I'm super worried I'm going to lose her cause she can only do yoga for like 15 mins...I think surgery would be great for her but she thinks surgery is a last resort for anyone :(

I mean doesn't she care to be able to do things with her 8 year old son? Isn't she sick of only being able to do so little I mean when I'm there I have to do all the lifting and I'm fat too lol..it just sucks cause she is the only positive/motherly family member I have. I look up to her..without her I would be lost and it sucks to see her in such horrible shape..I hope she chooses to do something before its too late. I wish I could tell her but I know she feels bad about her weight every time shoes don't fit her or when she can't find cute things in her size..I don't want to make her feel any worse and I already know where she stands on surgery when I told her I was looking into it...maybe if I do it and show her how great this tool is she will come around ..idk I'm just venting..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You know the old saying - you can lead a horse to Water but you can't make it drink. I used to have a boss with the same issue. He weighs maybe 330 and went to a bariatric surgeon to check into it. Obviously he qualified and he had the money to pay his copay. But he never followed through. To this day he is still 330 or more and he thinks he is doing ok. It wasn't the surgery he was avoiding - it was spending the money. All the talking in the world cannot get this guy to do what he needs to do.

Hopefully your aunt will see the light but if she doesn't all you can really do is love her as is and pray that she sees the light one day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You know the old saying - you can lead a horse to Water but you can't make it drink. I used to have a boss with the same issue. He weighs maybe 330 and went to a bariatric surgeon to check into it. Obviously he qualified and he had the money to pay his copay. But he never followed through. To this day he is still 330 or more and he thinks he is doing ok. It wasn't the surgery he was avoiding - it was spending the money. All the talking in the world cannot get this guy to do what he needs to do.

Hopefully your aunt will see the light but if she doesn't all you can really do is love her as is and pray that she sees the light one day.

she works for Symantec and gets Cigna insurance so I hear they are a pain in the ass but they cover at least some of it. It just sucks to watch this I love her to pieces and don't want anything bad to happen and if she continues down this road something will

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cigna is a pain - but they covered mine 100%. They just make you jump through some hoops first. Definitely makes sure you're ready, and that you are committed to following through. I used to feel that way - that I could do it without surgery, that surgery was the "easy way out", and on and on and on. Finally after trying every diet there was, busting my butt working out, eating right (albeit too much), and not seeing the scale move, I finally decided I needed help. I am 37, and I didn't want to spend the rest of my life like this. I don't have any major health issues (diabetes, HBP, etc.) but I knew I was headed down that road if something didn't change. As previous posters have said, you can't make someone make a huge decision like this. The best you can do is be a good example - and maybe once she sees how much happier and healthier you are, she will change her mind. I'll keep you all in my prayers.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cigna is a pain - but they covered mine 100%. They just make you jump through some hoops first. Definitely makes sure you're ready, and that you are committed to following through. I used to feel that way - that I could do it without surgery, that surgery was the "easy way out", and on and on and on. Finally after trying every diet there was, busting my butt working out, eating right (albeit too much), and not seeing the scale move, I finally decided I needed help. I am 37, and I didn't want to spend the rest of my life like this. I don't have any major health issues (diabetes, HBP, etc.) but I knew I was headed down that road if something didn't change. As previous posters have said, you can't make someone make a huge decision like this. The best you can do is be a good example - and maybe once she sees how much happier and healthier you are, she will change her mind. I'll keep you all in my prayers.

i am hoping to be a good example :) thanks!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×