Would You Have Weight Loss Surgery Again?

[luckysmomma 407]

Nope. I put my life at risk and now my marriage is at risk. Not worth it.

.... I agree 100%...I regret it every day. I think you & me are the only two on this thread that said no!

[PdxMan 4,292]

Nope. I put my life at risk and now my marriage is at risk. Not worth it.

.... I agree 100%...I regret it every day. I think you & me are the only two on this thread that said no!

And you put the blame for these issues on the surgery? Really? You have no role in this at all ... right?

I know people have regrets regarding the surgery, but from what I have seen, that has been due to physical complications. I can see that. But confronting the emotional side of how we abused food should have been a known obstacle we would have to confront. Now that it is in front of you, it is up to you to how you are going to react.

[luckysmomma 407]

PDX - I take full responsibility for the worst decision I've ever made. It is 100% my fault I had this surgery. I am totally accountable for my situation. I said nothing else!

[PdxMan 4,292]

PDX - I take full responsibility for the worst decision I've ever made. It is 100% my fault I had this surgery. I am totally accountable for my situation. I said nothing else!

I think you are mis-understanding my post. If there are issues with a relationship, the surgery had nothing to do with it, per Anna's post. As far as your issues, I believe I have spoke directly to them in my posts on this thread. Do you discount everything I have shared with you? Is there nothing in there you can glean? I hope I don't sound belittling, because that is not my intention, but you are really young in the post-sleeve process. It took time for me to realize just how I used and abused food. It was an awakening for me as I was willing to learn a new relationship with food. I hope you, too, will acquire some form of willingness to change.

[Evolving 973]

Not sure you can or want to answer this' date=' but why or what caused your marriage to be at risk? I see others with marriage issues after WLS. Is it as simple as jealously or insecurities, or is there more. Maybe better as sesperate thread, but do answer if you think it is a leading indicator for your regret. I do remember signing a consent form that said WLS Center is not liable for divorce, etc post op. I think WLS has been really good for marriage and nothing has ever come up to indicate a risk.[/quote']

Agree^^^ all the way

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

So you're marriages would be all hunky dorey if you hadn't had wls?

[PdxMan 4,292]

So you're marriages would be all hunky dorey if you hadn't had wls?

Don't you know everything is better if you just keep it in the closet. God forbid if we should ever ACTUALLY have to confront any weakness we have in our lives.

Let's bring back Don't Ask Don't Tell. That was a great policy. It doesn't exist if we don't know about it. Right?

Ignorance is bliss. Damn, I miss the Easter Bunny.

[No game 14,436]

PDX - I take full responsibility for the worst decision I've ever made. It is 100% my fault I had this surgery. I am totally accountable for my situation. I said nothing else!

I'm just curious what was the biggest "surprise"

That you hadn't thought about, that makes this such a regrettable experience?

[PdxMan 4,292]

Laura, are you on a mobile device? You missed her post from page 2.

To summarize, she is sad that she cannot abuse food the way she used to. I remember feeling the same way at about the same point. It is difficult to let this relationship go, but it is time.

[No game 14,436]

I read that pdx!

Nice try...

[No game 14,436]

I read that pdx!

But I also wonder if its about the self imposed lack of support from people she knows by being so secretive about it...

I mean I'm all for not telling EVERYONE!

But you need to tell SOMEONE!

So I want the biggest surprise...

[luckysmomma 407]

PDX - Nope, you didn't sound belittling & I do appreciate your thoughts. I was trying to show support to the one person I've seen post on this site who regrets the surgery, albeit for different reasons. I am happy that 99% of the people on this site love WLS and are happy; however, there is a few of us that make up the 1%

Surgery is for some people; it isn't for others. Despite over a year of preparing, reading, & researching the sleeve, I thought I knew what I was getting into, but clearly for me, it isn't for me. Now it is too late. I have to deal with my decision and make the best out of my new life. I just hope to help those who are in the 1% to not go through what I am by speaking my truth.

I knew surgery is only a tool. I am fat, not stupid. I never thought this would be easy. I never thought I'd magically lose weight. I know you have to routinely work with your dr, your nut, your dietician, etc - and I am! Despite my mobility issues, I am walking daily & hitting the gym. I struggle with Protein & fluids, but I do better each day. Losing weight takes 2 things - eating less & moving more. I didn't lose 100 lbs three different times in my life without realizing that...I am a food addict & food lover. I use food. I abuse food. I was even dependent on food. I chose surgery because of fear of becoming bedfast because of my mobility. To do it again? I still say no...even though I have no hunger, no thirst, no cravings ...things I prayed for...I would not do it again! People can say what they will about the mental/emotional stuff & they have some valid points - but at the end of the day in my world - surgery wasn't for me...but living with it is my new reality...

I have lost 24 lbs my first month & been extremely lucky from everything I've learned since last May up to this very day on this site...and I think I will reach my goal one day in the next year or so (if I am lucky & don't develop problems)...but knowing what I know now...no, I'd not do it again...

[luckysmomma 407]

Laura - there was no surprise...I have been lucky I didn't experience many of the awful side effects I had read about, well, at least so far. My only 'surprise' if you want to call it that was the shame & embarassment I felt just days prior to my surgery. Everybody in my life knows I was preparing to have WLS since last May, but then, a few days before I decided to go ahead, alone & privately. I know me - I'd feel even worse about this new life of mine if a single friend or family member knew. I do miss my life, unhealthy or not, it was my life...now I go through the motions each day. And no, I am not craving any certain foods or anything, I am thrilled that I don't want to eat, but I know this can't last forever...

Again, I am so happy for those who love the surgery; I simply don't. I am hoping to find some support from this site from those who regret it.

[PdxMan 4,292]

So, you are definitely not the only two here who didn't have complications, yet regret the surgery. I understand that there is going to be that population, for sure. I don't want or mean to discount what you are going through, but I really enjoy working with everyone here on VST through their struggles and triumphs. I feel it is a blessing in my life to be able to try to pay it forward. It is one of the principles of another program I follow.

HERE is a post I just made today that holds the same question that I just don't get. You did your research. You knew what to expect. You, like me, had successfully lost weight previously, but regained it back. You, like myself, were tired of this and wanted something that was going to help you to NOT regain that weight back, so you chose the permanent WLS surgery, the sleeve. Not the band, which could be removed ... not RnY, which could be reversed, but the option that forced my hand to be all in. I wanted to stop abusing food and I can only assume you did, too.

Do you think you may just be in the mourning phase I spoke of? Do you really want to go back to abusing food? Is it like the wife who wants to go back to the abusive spouse because, "I love him, so!!"

[No game 14,436]

Well... I think, that is the root of your regret... Your feeling "Shame" and "embarrassment" has lead you to put yourself in some kind of isolation..

Don't you think??

You, in my opinion, need to tell someone!

You have done nothing to be ashamed of.