what to tell, who to tell, when to tell...

[sharonintx 1,275]

I've been pretty open with everyone I know. I've gotten a few curious looks from a couple of people but mostly everyone is supportive. A lot of them are curious as to what the surgery entails so I explain it to them and they either look at me kinda funny ( lmao) or are encouraging in their replies. Yes - I can tell that a few think I am taking the easy way out. Like I care what they think. At almost 3 weeks out I can assure you it's not the easy way out. In fact, it's harder than I thought it would be.

It's all up to you. If you wanna keep it private then by all means do so. if you wanna let it be known and just sit and wait for the first person to give you a smart remark then so be it. All that matters it you made your choice and you make your own decisions. Anyone not liking it can go ( fill in appropriate insult ) themselves.

[*Dean* 1,594]

I've been completely transparent about surgery with everyone who asks 'how have you done it?'

If people compliment me on my weight loss I just thank them.

I have never had a single negative reaction. Maybe it's luck? I do work in a pretty alpha male environment, not a single unsupportive comment or joke etc.

Having said that because I'm so transparent I've had 4 people start their weight loss surgery journey. One (a daughter of a work colleague actually) has had her VSG surgery. I'm pretty happy / proud to have had some input into helping others.

I know other threads have degenerated on this topic. I respect everybody's right to maintain their privacy if that's what they want to do. And, like has been discussed people really should not be so nosey to ask or assume. But they do. I'd feel uneasy having a cover story for those times.

I have a friend who gave a cover story to her new in-laws. She was worried because they're quite 'healthy and sporty' and didn't want to be judged. The cover story has started to unravel and I guess now she has been judged by them anyway, perhaps (rightly or wrongly) more harshly.

Make the decision on this that's best for you.

Deano

[SpaceDust 585]

I am not secretive about my plans to move forward with the surgery, and I will quite comfortably tell anyone who needs to know. If I see a reason to open up to someone about it, I don't have a problem with it; I'm not ashamed of the choice to do this.

I also have no intention of lying about it. However, that doesn't mean I'm telling everyone who asks about my weight loss all the details. I am somewhat of a private person. If I think someone's just being nosy I will probably say I found some ways to improve my Portion Control, I'm focusing on a diet that's higher in Protein, and I'm getting more exercise. These will all be true - in fact, they are true even now.

That said, if someone asks me straight out if I had surgery, I won't deny it. Nor would I hesitate to discuss it with someone with a genuine interest. I am just not the type to feed the trolls by giving them more info than they're entitled to.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-T989 using VST

[bettyb71 38]

I have told my parents, in laws, 2 co workers, 1 friend and of course my husband (he is on the journey with me, actually about 1 month ahead of me) I have had all positive reactions because I knew who I told would be supportive. I know with the small group that I work in they will figure it out. I was supposed to get a hysterectomy, but didn't, so they will probably think that's what I am doing

I like the MYOB philosophy!

[SerendipityHappens 1,594]

I have told my boyfriend, my three sisters and one friend who lives out of state and doesn't know anyone else that I know.

On surgery day I was down 70 pounds from my highest weight so people are used to me losing weight, and also eating weird foods. I've been doing Protein shakes twice a day for the past three months anyway! I went on "vacation" and came back to work today.. I spent two weeks post op visiting with my sisters, so I just tell everyone that my vacation with family was great.. Everyone tells me I look so well rested!

I have no plans to keep my VSG a secret, I just don't want people having expectations. This summer I'll be going back home for a wedding and will see my entire extended family. By then my weight loss will be obvious and I will happily let everyone know about my surgery then.

[luckysmomma 407]

Everyone knew I was planning to have the surgery, but as my surgery date neared...I couldn't believe the shame, humiliation, etc I felt . . .months before, I told everyone I backed out...I have done Weight Watchers for years & lost over 100 lbs on three occasions before an injury a few years back, so everybody thinks I am losing with it again plus I told everyone I gave up the diet sodas...

I have told no one! I went to the hospital alone, recovering alone, etc...it has been hard to keep from my family at times, but I live alone, so...so far, so good...

I told my workplace I was having surgery for female issues.

I will take this to my grave. This one is in the vault!

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

Why lie ? Be proud of your sleeve !! And if you live your life worried if people are gonna talk **** or judge thats no way to live . I say be open and let people talk if there gonna talk . They have the problem , not you.

[*Dean* 1,594]

Aaaahhhh you said the 'L' word! *hides*

[MrsG 329]

I don't just volunteer the information with ppl I know, however if they ask, I'm honest and tell them. You know what's weird tho? I find it easier to tell a stranger than someone I know. The first time was at a chik fil a I went to for lunch (they have grilled chicken nuggets, sooo good) and they asked what I wanted to drink and when I told them no drink they looked at me all crazy and kept trying to offer me bottled Water, lol! So I just told the guy I had wls and can't eat and drink at the same time. He was soooo nice!! Gave me a free bottle of Water for later when I could drink and told me good luck. The other was at a buffet I went to with my husband. I told them I had had wls and couldn't eat much and the girl was super sweet, charged me a kids price and asked how my success has been. I used to not want anyone to know but my husband tells everyone he works with and told me how proud he is of me and that I should be proud of how I was taking care of myself. He's very supportive. Now I don't worry so much about who knows or doesn't know.

I will say however that if anyone ever said to me that I took the easy way out, they had better run after saying it

[SamG 25]

I was thinking about this the other day. I have a three friends that have had the surgery and they all have different views on discretion. However, there is only one that is open about her decision and well tell anyone in a minute that she had surgery. I have also been very open with my decision and what will happen August 2013. I'm not ashamed that I needed a little extra help to lose weight. I also feel like sharing my story with people I know will hold me accountable as well. I just don't get why people are so secretive about this process. I can see not wanting to tell your co-workers because personal and business should be kept separate. But there are some people that aren't even sharing this with family and close friends. I just don't get it.

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

I was thinking about this the other day. I have a three friends that have had the surgery and they all have different views on discretion. However' date=' there is only one that is open about her decision and well tell anyone in a minute that she had surgery. I have also been very open with my decision and what will happen August 2013. I'm not ashamed that I needed a little extra help to lose weight. I also feel like sharing my story with people I know will hold me accountable as well. I just don't get why people are so secretive about this process. I can see not wanting to tell your co-workers because personal and business should be kept separate. But there are some people that aren't even sharing this with family and close friends. I just don't get it.[/quote']

Me either :/