IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY...THEN DON'T SAY IT.

[delta_girl 931]

To each his/her own...but to me that is like saying everyone has to be happy and have no other emotions that they display to others. Everyone should only post positive, uplifting things, nothing sad nor negative. Everyone must censor him/herself to make sure what they type is as watered down, politically correct, unoffensive, bland, and as palatable to the average person as possible.

Sorry...well, not really ...but just ain't gonna.

[Chris R 217]

I love the link PDX put in his earlier post in this thread - it reiterates and supports with evidence something I posted a while back k in "The powder Room" forum entitled "Bickering on threads". If you didn't follow his link and read the article, go back and do it now!

Before you go jumping down someone's throat because you think you're being attacked, keep in mind that the chances are only about 50-50 that the poster intended it that way - and also remember that your own personal moods and sensitivities influence your interpretation of what they posted.

[Geminidrive 389]

You are in a public forum, you will get a myriad of posts and responses, some nice, some not so nice, some informative, some not so much. Some people nice and some people not so nice. I say peruse the site for the information you need and keep it moving. Don’t let it stress you out…..life is too short.

[shuckybucky 107]

PEOPLE.....Please learn how to speak to 1 another and if you're not going to say something nice then don't write on the the forum. This is not a place to humiliate or degrade anyone. This is a place where we can come to each other ask each other for advice and to lean back on 1 another. Obviously because we might feel comfortable with the people on here and speaking to some of you who have gone through what were going through might be helpful. STOP THE NEGATIVITY...

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!!

GOD IS LOVE<3<3<3<3 PEACE

Preach it!!!

Somebody's bar b q'in?

[Sadtosaygoodbye 256]

It's a common misperception that posters believe everyone is going to parrot or mirror what you want them to. Us sleever's are passionate about this tool that we have been given. Often we see the same posters over and over again, looking for ways to sneak unhealthy foods or not treat themselves well. Sometimes this passion comes in the form of tough love, everyone is not going to live in an echo chamber and assist in giving what they see as unhealthy advice. However there are plenty that do.

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

Figuring out the tone some one meant is difficult over the Internet. Ppl will always find something to complain about. It's human nature and the invisibility of the Internet makes it even easier for them to be more abrupt. Just take everything with a grain of salt

I can't have salt... It makes me bloated and youza gonna hate what I say even more.

[dat_sweetmami 81]

Sounds like negativity to me ... maybe take some of your own advice???

Maybe you should read it over to see what part of it was negative because in no way.. shape or form was there any negativity to it or don't comment on something you know nothing of.

[AddryW 24]

I'm new to this forum, and have found so much info. Everyone I have talked to seems to genuinely want to help.

I really hope that this isn't what I have to look forward to.

[Webchickadee 716]

To the original OP when I first found this sit I thought it was GREAT, WONDERFUL I was ecstatic I found a place to go to HELP me.

I am now a year out and I rarely visit due to peoples posts being mean, hurtful, accusatory..etc I could go on.

I decided that to make my VGS trip successful I had to stay away from here because even typed words hurt and bring in doubt.

I feel some people forgot that we are/were all overweight for a reason. Weather it be food addiction emotional eaters or some other suppressing issues. There for a lot of the responses were not helping me. I now when reading a post don't read responses I just post to the OP.

I have stopped asking any questions and just hope to help others how I want to be helped.

Deltadawn817, I'm very sorry your experience at VerticalSleeveTalk has not been the enriching and positive one you initially hoped it would be.

I must admit I have found the opposite to be true for myself.

I am a self-pay patient that had access to very little first-hand information due to the scarcity of this surgery or surgeons who do this type of procedure in my area (Toronto, Canada). I had little choice but to seek out information and answers online.

I visited several forums that discuss VSG-related topics, some of which you are no doubt familiar with. Of all of those forums, VST is the one I have found to consistently have the most complete community with active members willing to share their experiences (both positive and negative) and to tell the truth without sugar-coating the facts. It is the only forum I read and the only one I contribute to.

When I read posts that interest me, I always take the time to respond thoroughly, thoughtfully and in a supportive yet factual manner. Please feel free to review "my content" and you will see that I put a lot of time and effort into making a difference with my posts. There are MANY members here who do the same (PdxMan is a great example, and I can think of many more as well..).

But we don't KNOW how people will interpret what we write, or whether they are ready to hear hard truths (sometimes tough love is needed! I've benefited from it many many times here!). We do it out of a sense of community and support.

No one gets paid to help others here, so being critical of those who freely and generously offer their support is less than generous on your behalf. And encouraging another member to essentially abandon this community because YOUR experience was less than ideal for you is also unfair. They may benefit in ways you have not.........steering them away from the opportunity to discover that is tantamount to robbing them of that opportunity due to your "sour grapes".

If you truly feel this community has nothing to offer, I suggest you become a completely passive member and temper your desire to post anything. If I had read your quoted post when I first joined VST, I may have never gone on to be a happy member of this community.

[No game 14,437]

Sometimes posts can be interpreted as being negative' date=' but really are meant to be supportive. Soooo many people come on here looking to validate behaviors they know they shouldn't be doing. Then, when they don't get the answer they want, they get

.[/quote']

Hey pdx I was told to GO TO HELL a couple of days ago (along with a few other choice words)

Do you think I misinterpreted it??

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

:-X

[dat_sweetmami 81]

To each his/her own...but to me that is like saying everyone has to be happy and have no other emotions that they display to others. Everyone should only post positive' date=' uplifting things, nothing sad nor negative. Everyone must censor him/herself to make sure what they type is as watered down, politically correct, unoffensive, bland, and as palatable to the average person as possible.

Sorry...well, not really ...but just ain't gonna.[/quote']

If i write something on my forum.. you have the right to comment but don't be stupid or negative point blank. People don't always agree and that's understandable but If you don't like it you don't have to click on the title and comment being out of line. if you think sitting here and judging someone for no apparent reason then you know what I am going to speak up and say what I have to say if you don't like it hit unsubscribe or just don't comment at all. say what you have to say but don't be stupid about it that's what I'm saying... everybody has different opinions point blank.. just be respectful when commenting on somebody else's forum.

[Sadtosaygoodbye 256]

Snif snif snif, I smell popcorn.< /p>

[dat_sweetmami 81]

.

[PdxMan 4,292]

Hey pdx I was told to GO TO HELL a couple of days ago (along with a few other choice words)

Do you think I misinterpreted it??

Man, I wish someone would be nice enough to send me to Hell.

It's like this post:

Maybe you should read it over to see what part of it was negative because in no way.. shape or form was there any negativity to it or don't comment on something you know nothing of.

Is there any negativity in there?

Or in the initial post this refers to?

I don't knowwww...pdx you seem to be all up on my forums. You must be quite bored ...hmmmmm

The bottom line is just like what I told my wife on our first date:

Don't ask any question you don't want the answer to