Dating Post-Sleeve (advice needed!)

[~*~ Melissa ~*~ 31]

I was sleeved on July 19, 2012 in Mexico and it was the best decision I ever made, a decision I would make again even knowing the severe complications I had (i.e. losing my ability to walk).

It has been 9 months and I have lost 130 pounds, being less than 20 lbs away from my ultimate goal of weighing in at 150 (happily accepting further pounds off). I decided to give online dating a try now that I possess this thing called confidence and am overall happy with myself. I met a wonderful man who I enjoy conversing with, as he is exactly my type- has a healthy lifestyle, smart, driven, loves sports, etc. He has seen pictures posted, despite being a tad heavier in each photo compared to where I'm at today. He shared a skeleton today that involved him getting a DUI in the past. This is something that doesn't phase me as long as the lesson has been learned and drinking has slowed since the college years, which he states it has. I shared that I have lost much weight and plan on keeping it off, never sharing that I was sleeved as I would prefer telling him to his face, allowing me to see his reaction in person.

For those who were single when sleeved and now in a relationship, how did you share the news? Do you consider it a 'skeleton' in the closet? Even though I know it was the best decision for me, I fear he may not understand despite him sharing that he strives to live a healthy life since obesity runs in his family.

Any suggestions? While I look and feel great in clothes, I still have small rolls and saggy skin which has me thinking of surgery in summer 2014 on the areas I am unable to tighten through exercise alone.

[Pelekania 156]

I personally do not look at it as a skeleton in my closet. I believe that some of those feelings derive from the way society view obese people. Once you become comfortable with the decision you made, it will be easier to share with others. And if that person is for you, they will be happy that you did something to become healthier. If they aren't, don't waste your time on him. The way I share my surgery with people, is I make it light and funny. Usually the response I get is thst you're not that big...why did you have it or thst you look good. So I end up explaining my reasoning about being unhealthy.

Good luck to you! His DUI is much worst than your WLS...

[Territravel 217]

I was married before being sleeved, so maybe I don't qualify to answer this one.

Hopefully, he's a nice, sincere man, and not a shallow Hal kind of guy. Get to know him first, let him get to know you, then decide whether to let him in on your weight loss history!

[Annie04 28]

I agree with all of the above......don't worry about it and just exude your confidence. There will be a time when it is right to share that with him. Men love confidence. Enjoy this exciting time in your life!!

[curvyweezie 62]

I was sleeved on July 19' date=' 2012 in Mexico and it was the best decision I ever made, a decision I would make again even knowing the severe complications I had (i.e. losing my ability to walk).

It has been 9 months and I have lost 130 pounds, being less than 20 lbs away from my ultimate goal of weighing in at 150 (happily accepting further pounds off). I decided to give online dating a try now that I possess this thing called confidence and am overall happy with myself. I met a wonderful man who I enjoy conversing with, as he is exactly my type- has a healthy lifestyle, smart, driven, loves sports, etc. He has seen pictures posted, despite being a tad heavier in each photo compared to where I'm at today. He shared a skeleton today that involved him getting a DUI in the past. This is something that doesn't phase me as long as the lesson has been learned and drinking has slowed since the college years, which he states it has. I shared that I have lost much weight and plan on keeping it off, never sharing that I was sleeved as I would prefer telling him to his face, allowing me to see his reaction in person.

For those who were single when sleeved and now in a relationship, how did you share the news? Do you consider it a 'skeleton' in the closet? Even though I know it was the best decision for me, I fear he may not understand despite him sharing that he strives to live a healthy life since obesity runs in his family.

Any suggestions? While I look and feel great in clothes, I still have small rolls and saggy skin which has me thinking of surgery in summer 2014 on the areas I am unable to tighten through exercise alone.[/quote']

Did I read that correctly? You lost your ability to walk? I'm sorry to ask this but it's the first I have heard of this complication.

[Naija2atl 30]

Lost ability to walk ??? can u please explain.

[Annie04 28]

Yes, Please share. I am hoping that it was temporary and that you are fine now.

[mwrarr 244]

You've already shared that you've lost a lot of weight and he's still hanging around. Your decision to tell about the surgery can wait, if you want. If he doesn't understand, someone else will. Good luck!