I am a 49 yr. old mother of three adult children and (mostly) happily married for 23 years. I am also an recovering addict. Saying this in a post is extremely hard and scary to put it out in the open but this is just my truth. I have been clean for over 5 years and am the happiest I have ever been with me. I can honestly say that I am an equal oppurtunity addict I do everything to the extremes pills, shopping, reading, tv watching, etc......all with the hopes of filling a hole that was never satisfied. Luckily through the 12 steps of recovery I have been able to stop all my addictions except with the one that has always been my primary addiction and that is food! So saying that......I guess I am afraid that even with the surgery I will still have issues with food. I know I am ready because honestly knowing that I am having surgery for the first time in my life I havent worried about what i am putting in my mouth, but the funny thing is....is knowing I can eat anything I want before surgery has taken away the obsession to eat and the forbidden fruit just isn't as sweet as it used to be. But after surgery when there will once again be restriction to what and when I can drink/eat will the obsession take over once more? I am tired of being my own worst enemy when it comes down to it. I am going to try and fill the void by picking up my writing or painting again. I have such a wonderful life and just want to be healthy enough to live it to the fullest and I know I deserve too also! Just having a little fear of the what if's......

FEAR- Face Everything And Recover or Forget Everything And Run.........my choice today, pray I make the right one

I've been clean 7 yrs so I know where youre coming from. I had mine Jan 30 and am down just shy of 40. Have you thought of therapy? I see someone cuz did shopping, sex, food next is Gambling lol therapy helps me a lot.

My heart goes out to you. I understand how you feel. The surgery is the easy part, fixing your head and thought process is alot harder. I had my surgery 11 months ago and I have lost 167lbs. It is the best decision I have made. I also see a behaviorist, and have a few close people who I can talk to. I strongly suggest you do the same. Also working through the over eaters workbook is very helpful. Good luck

Great job and 40 lb loss! Yes, therepy does help and has changed my life I have just learned that sharing my fears helps take the power out of them. Funny you mention gambling thats the one habit I never fell into.......but I have been in Vegas most my life....lol...go figure???

You know acknowledgement is the first hurdle! Good for you! The best thing about the sleeve is it will force you to restrict those urges. You may (and prob will) eat things you shouldn't..we all do, but just one or two bites & you will be satisfied! I too was a food addict, I have eaten the "forbidden fruit" but like I said...it loses its appeal! Good luck on your journey..you've already overcame a great deal!

My heart goes out to you. I understand how you feel. The surgery is the easy part, fixing your head and thought process is alot harder. I had my surgery 11 months ago and I have lost 167lbs. It is the best decision I have made. I also see a behaviorist, and have a few close people who I can talk to. I strongly suggest you do the same. Also working through the over eaters workbook is very helpful. Good luck

WHat is the "overeaters Workbook" and where can I get One. This Last few day have been tough, NO i am NOT hungry because of the Sleeve, but Head Hunger has been bringing me down, and I have been "feeling sorry for myself" cause I cant eat like the rest of the family...But tomorrow is a New day and I am doing this one day at a time...

I believe it is a workbook that is sold through Over eaters Anonymous meetings.

I had to respond to your courage and fortitude to put it out there. You are very brave. I often felt through out my life that if I went to a 12 step program, maybe I would finally find the courage you have displayed here. I can't imagpne you failing at weight loss since you have conquered other, more dangerous obstacles in your life. Bravo! Show us all the way to go. You go girl.

Thank you, have been a little freaked since I did put it all out there......thoughts of what people will think about me ...yada, yada, yada...lol. All the negative noise that my head wants to tell me. But your right, I have been given the tools to combat my self destructive self talk and habits and going to 12 step meetings have definitley taught me I am not alone!! I am who I am and there is no shame in it. I view this upcoming surgery as another tool to get my desired results which is health, energy, and a fullfilling life. So thank you so much for the words of encouragement!