Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Wise guy answers for 'how did you lose the weight?"



Recommended Posts

We had a recent thread about lying about the surgery. I don't like lying but I do like being a wise guy.

Here are some not-to-be-believed answers for the question:

How did you lose the weight?.....

I went swimming in a river in Borneo and contracted a rare fat-eating bacteria.

I only eat foods that begin with Z, I am getting sick of Zucchini !

I am on the Werewolf diet. Where did you say you live?

It is psychological bulimia. After I eat, I think of a catastrophe that leaves you and me as the only survivors in the world. The food comes up pretty quickly.

I eat from a plate made with a picture of my mother-in-law's face on it. The more I eat, the more I see.

It's Water loss. I urinated yesterday and couldn't stop.

I am oppositional defiant. I have my wife command me not to over eat.

I am still overweight. I am wearing a partial cloaking device.

I have gone through an inter-dimensional switch. Fortunately, the alternate reality me was thinner.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

rofl... now just to choose my favorite one to use, lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Omg lol. My favorite is definitely the plate with my mother in laws face. That probably would be very affective :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Omg lol. My favorite is definitely the plate with my mother in laws face. That probably would be very affective :)

Mine too!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bwahahahahaha! When people seem particularly upset about my weight loss, I tell them, you know that thing doctors have been telling us for years, "exercise"? Yeah. I do that now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Those are hysterical!! Love them!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How about, I soak in Dawn dish soap to cut through stubborn fat.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I sometimes say I caught the fat fairy red handed and kicked her a@@!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, I am not the only wise guy around here! B)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a feeling there are quite a lot. Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Teriesa

      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Stone Art By SKL

      Decorative Wall Cladding & Panels | Stone Art By SKL
      Elevate your space with Stone Art By SKL's decorative wall claddings & panels. Explore premium designs for timeless elegance.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Losing my hair in clumps and still dealing with "stomach" issues from gallbladder removal surgery. On the positive side I'm doing better about meeting protein and water goals and taking my vitamins, so yay? 🤷‍♀️
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      · 1 reply
      1. BabySpoons

        Amazing! Congrats!!! Watch out for the sharks. 🦈

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×