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I think I've figured it out...



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Why most of the vets seem to just disappear after a while... Like most people have already seen and commented on this place is full of negativity in one form or another... and is pretty bland and blah compared to other sites like MFP. Anyone else's thoughts? lol bring on the hate mail.

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I stay away from the negative talk...I'm still on here...don't let it bother me

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I think they get tired of the same o same o.

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I'm only 5 weeks post op, but I notice the more weight I lose the more active I get. The more active I get the more energy i have. The more energy I have the less I am at home on the computer. That is my reasons as to why I am not on here as much as I used to be in the beginning. I think people who are vets are probably just living his or her life! They are out enjoying things and doing things they never used to.

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I stopped posting for a while because I was getting offline critiques about everything I posted. Then some of the vets were accused of thread hijacking and posting inappropriate things. I bowed out for a while and wrote a couple of blogs posts. I really want to help those going through the process, but I will not take crap from people. It's okay to disagree, but don't send me offline messages about what I should or shouldn't say. Anyway, I am posting less frequently, but I do read a fair number of posts when I have time.

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I read everyday. I just don't post anymore for the reason you stated. Been on the board for a year and am now 2 weeks preop. I will post my story after surgery for those looking at Mexico, but will go back to lurking afterwards. Hopefully, I too will be too busy enjoying life.

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It's one thing when you see the same posts over and over again. That is bad enough. And yeah, plenty of people ask questions that could easily be answered with a simple search....that gets slightly old but it's not the end of the world. But what makes me want to go away is someone who is 2 weeks out of surgery, and over run with emotions and head hunger...cursing me out because I suggest that they not eat a cheeseburger just yet. Somehow that makes me an unsupportive ass. That really drives people away.

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I personally just get lost in all of the posts and tired of the same questions. Then there is the drama on how people respond to one another (really they send you hate mail in PMs? what the.....?). Additionally, there are certain hijackers that would always take over a thread. Those things just made me come to the general conclusion... I'd rather spend my time elsewhere.

On the positive side, another contributing factor is that I get support through my weekly meetings that I am fortunate to have here in the DFW area.

But I still come here infrequently....

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Longer - im in dfw - can you pm info on the group?

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Lol at sending hate mail. People really get that worked up? I think some people just take this way too seriously. If someone disagrees about the smallest thing or make a suggestion the poster doesn't want to hear, they get all bent out of shape. It doesn't bother me and I won't be run off because of it.

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It's one thing when you see the same posts over and over again. That is bad enough. And yeah' date=' plenty of people ask questions that could easily be answered with a simple search....that gets slightly old but it's not the end of the world. But what makes me want to go away is someone who is 2 weeks out of surgery, and over run with emotions and head hunger...cursing me out because I suggest that they not eat a cheeseburger just yet. Somehow that makes me an unsupportive ass. That really drives people away.[/quote']

It's hard to search when I have to read through the drama and u just want a direct answer .. My opinion

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Actually there is a search function at the top of the toolbar on vst (I think that is what the poster meant on using the simple search). For me, I forget sometimes to use the search box at the top of the vst page as I come here decompressing after work or end of the day / half mindless and I get on the homepage and read the active threads that are coming through. Then I'll read, get lost in the threads or not sure what I want to search on.. but if I stay long enough (what? 5 mins) and see drama ... I find mostly I just log out. (sigh, sounds like I'm not the only one as I agree with your opinion on tired of reading through the drama... i get sick of that for sure!)

actingnurse, I sent you the group info. (glad I came back to this thread to see your request!) Hope to see you there soon!

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Actually there is a search function at the top of the toolbar on vst (I think that is what the poster meant on using the simple search). For me' date=' I forget sometimes to use the search box at the top of the vst page as I come here decompressing after work or end of the day / half mindless and I get on the homepage and read the active threads that are coming through. Then I'll read, get lost in the threads or not sure what I want to search on.. but if I stay long enough (what? 5 mins) and see drama ... I find mostly I just log out. (sigh, sounds like I'm not the only one as I agree with your opinion on tired of reading through the drama... i get sick of that for sure!)

actingnurse, I sent you the group info. (glad I came back to this thread to see your request!) Hope to see you there soon![/quote']

I kno how to use the search I've used it but when a topic come up that I want to read its drama in between the answers your looking for so when u start a new topic it's fresh so u get to the bottom line until someone hijacks the thread

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It's one thing when you see the same posts over and over again. That is bad enough. And yeah' date=' plenty of people ask questions that could easily be answered with a simple search....that gets slightly old but it's not the end of the world. But what makes me want to go away is someone who is 2 weeks out of surgery, and over run with emotions and head hunger...cursing me out because I suggest that they not eat a cheeseburger just yet. Somehow that makes me an unsupportive ass. That really drives people away.[/quote']

While I understand people who share your position, I don't agree with forcing the use of the search feature for newer sleevers (and vets). Again, this is just an opinion and not a negative rub. I hold everyone in high regards. The point is that Some individuals just want encouragement from others, a little cheer or just a connection with like minded and like experience individuals. Everyone should feel comfortable with helping anyone who asks, even if it is just validating their success or issue with support. That is what helps everyone here succeed ( in my opinion) because if you spend enough time on this site, it becomes a support system of the best kind. Was VST intended for this use? I say yes, over and over again. We should always welcome others to find a home on this site and encourage organic growth of the site through networks of people. Now if we could just take care of some of the negativity that pockets here and there.

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I don't like the search function. I use it but it links to the beginning of a thread and often I've had to sift through page after page of stuff before I find my answer. Now, I may be using it incorrectly.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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